Eighteen

Was it possible that there were things darker than the darkest shade of black?

Eunhyuk truly wondered about it as he looked around and didn’t see anything apart from darkness, not even the tiniest bit of light. There were no surroundings he recognized, no sounds, nothing. It was dead silent around him and pitch-black – and he asked himself if he was dead. He couldn’t think of something that could have caused his death if he really was, but on the other hand: he had stopped searching for causes and reasons after everything that had happened around him. So maybe it was true; maybe it was not.

Where was he? Or to say it better: where was he now? His mind had taken him to so many places already, what had it done this time? Had it given up, maybe? Was this what it looked like when everything was gone, was this his mind's surrender?

He reached his hand out, just to make sure if he was staring at a wall or something. It didn’t came in touch with anything – and he found himself frowning as he noticed that he could actually see his hand, his arm and his body as he looked down. How was this possible, to see it when there was absolutely no light? He turned both of his hands around and looked at their insides. There were no wounds, on both of them.

Eunhyuk started looking around, turned slightly to the side. There was nothing, absolutely nothing around him. His gaze fell to the floor or rather what he thought that darkness under his feet was. He took a small, careful step and another one before he started walking a bit to see if there was an exit somewhere or at least a wall. Because this was what there had to be, right? He expected himself to be in a room void of any light, so there had to be an exit somewhere.

With his arms reached out to save himself from running into something, Eunhyuk slowly took step after step. He had no idea in which direction he was supposed to go and the longer he thought about it, the more helpless he felt. Was there even a right direction?

He stopped. Walking aimlessly around didn’t make any sense and he was way too afraid to walk into something, something he couldn’t see. He hadn't even found out why he was here to begin with, why he could see his own body in here when there was no-

What was that?

The redhead froze to the spot as he felt something at the back of his neck. It felt like the lightest breath of air that tugged on his hair from behind, warm just like a mild breeze in summer.

Wind? Here?

He immediately turned around – but behind him was nothing, just the darkness that got more intimidating with every passing second. For a moment he thought he had just imagined it and he already blamed his mind for fooling him once again before he suddenly heard it.

Someone chuckled.

And it came from right behind him.

Eunhyuk froze.            
With his heart racing like seldom before he felt pure horror rushing through his veins and it started beating even faster as he wheeled around to face the same darkness as before. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been so scared and he couldn’t even tell what it was that scared him so much. But one thing was for sure: he wasn’t alone in here.

"…Hello?" he croaked out with a silent and quavering voice. Silence followed and he felt sick to the stomach as he thought about someone grabbing him out of the blue and the fact that there was nothing he could do against it.

Had he really expected to get an answer? Eunhyuk felt like he was one of those girls in horror movies that asked if somebody was there in the darkness before some guy with a chainsaw or even some monster would jump into their way all of a sudden. He really didn’t want to place himself on the same level with them, but in that moment he could imagine anything to happen and he didn’t want to tempt fate.

And so he carefully took some slow steps backwards while his gaze flitted around in a helpless attempt to finally see something in the dark around him. There was another giggle he could clearly hear only a couple of seconds later and this time he couldn’t tell where it came from. He immediately stopped walking, was about to maybe stupidly ask again, but he didn’t get the chance to do it.

"Hello."

Eunhyuk jumped and had to bite his tongue to not let out a scream. Jerking his head to the side and stumbling a few steps away from the source of the voice, he was too taken off guard to recognize it and so he needed a moment longer than necessary to notice that there was no need to be afraid. Because the face he saw, illuminated in all this darkness just like his own, wasn’t that of a stranger and the soft smile on thin lips didn’t indicate any form of danger.

The contrary was the case.

Seeing this face immediately made his heart lose some of its speed and calmed him down quicker than he could ask himself what all of this had to mean. He even forgot where he was for a moment he spent with staring at this smile that was playing with the other's lips; somehow he found it hard to not smile as well. And as this giggle filled his ears once again, he inwardly cursed himself for being that dumb that he hadn't recognized it earlier.

"Hey Hyukkie."

It was Donghae who stood in front of him, not some lunatic serial killer who was after him. Eunhyuk let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding and immediately walked up to the younger's body that was the only thing he could see. He threw his arms around his neck, pressed their bodies together without noticing that he wasn’t hugged back. And as he withdrew from him to cup Donghae's face, he couldn’t express how glad he was to see him.

"Donghae… You… I-I don’t know what to say, I-"

"How did you know that it was me?"

The brunet was still smiling as he asked him this and Eunhyuk gaped at him for a second before he found his voice again. "What are you talking about? Of course I know that it's you, I mean… You're standing right in front of me."

The smile widened a bit. "That doesn’t mean that you recognize me."

Eunhyuk mouth dropped open as a deep frown appeared on his forehead. "What? I-"

"You can't stay here, Hyukkie." Donghae interrupted him and the smile on his lips still didn’t falter for a second. "And I can't stay here either."

Eunhyuk felt an oppressive feeling creeping up inside of him, just like a hand that clutched his heart in a tight grip. He still held on to Donghae's face, let his thumbs brush over his soft skin and had no idea what the other was talking about. What the hell was going on?

"Why not?" was everything he managed to utter and he had to be careful to not start crying once again. Donghae's smile was cut in stone.

"Because we don’t belong here."

"That's not true", he whispered desperately. "I belong here because you're here. And if this isn’t the place for us then tell me where I have to go so I can be with you again. Please. Please, Donghae."

"You have to go back", Donghae chuckled and it didn’t seem like he noticed how desperate Eunhyuk was. No, not at all.

"Where to? Donghae, I don’t-"

"Home."

Eunhyuk's gaze flitted over the younger's face and he started to believe that seeing Donghae's smile hurt because it was so stiff. He wanted to ask him what he meant because he simply didn’t understand what he wanted to tell him. But the words were stuck in his throat the moment he heard another voice. His own, to be exact.

"Come on."

He slightly tilted his side and looked past Donghae. There, only a few meters away, he saw himself. And before he could think about that fact even for a second, his confusion grew even bigger as he saw that the hand of this Hyukjae was wrapped around just another Donghae's wrist. His eyes widened as he saw both of them in what he quickly recognized as one of the hallways in the S.M. building; his other self was dragging Donghae along who tried his best to struggle.

"Hyukkie, don’t-"

"That was the second time this month, Donghae!" he heard himself say as Hyukjae turned around to face the younger. "How many times do I have to see you all dizzy before you finally listen to me and go to a doctor?!"

Donghae weakly tried to loosen the other's grip around his wrist. "It's nothing, Hyukkie. I'm just exhausted because of practice. I didn’t drink enough and... a-and the concerts will start soon. I don’t want to make a fuss because of something like that-"

"Something like that?! What the , Donghae?! You almost fainted in there! And do I really have to remember you of the fever you had last night? Or the fever you were running last week?! You're sick and you need help!"

Eunhyuk's heart skipped a beat. Weren't those the words he told Donghae? How-

"No, please-"

Hyukjae wordlessly continued dragging him along and punched down the button of the lift multiple times. "I won't continue seeing you getting sicker without doing anything. You're going to see a doctor now, if you want to or not."

"You can't do that! We're in the middle of practice, I can't memorize the routines yet and I also don’t know the lyrics to our new songs! I know that you're worried, but I simply can't go to a doctor now. We don’t have time for that, don’t you understand that?"

The other turned his head to look at him – and Eunhyuk remembered how he had bitten the inside of his cheek in that moment. "So? And when do you think you'll have the time? In between our concerts, maybe? While flying to Japan or maybe in the middle of all the practice for the concerts that follow right behind?"

Donghae was searching for excuses. "I-I'll find the time-"

"Will you go to a doctor within the next week or not?"

The younger dropped his gaze without giving him an answer, but this apparently was answer enough. Hyukjae didn’t wait for the lift to arrive and pulled him towards the stairs. Donghae still tried his best to change the redhead's mind and as they eventually reached the staircase his voice became frantic. He he