Sixteen

"Lee Hyukjae-ssi, can you tell me your age?"

Eunhyuk blinked his eyes and stared at the opposite white wall without really seeing it. There was a female doctor standing next to him, both of her hands on his head, and he had no idea what she was doing. She had told him her name as she had entered his room some time ago, but it wasn’t like he had remembered it. Yet he recalled her explaining to him that he was in a hospital because there had been an accident – whatever that meant. Eunhyuk hadn't asked her questions about it because he simply didn’t care, just like he didn’t care about the questions she had been asking him for quite a while now. It wasn’t like he wasn’t able to answer them – he just wouldn’t. There was no need, it was useless. Everything was and he saw no sense in giving her any answers.

"Do you know what date we have today?"

That was the first question he couldn’t answer. He had no idea what date it was; switching worlds and times for so long had confused him and he didn’t intent to even think about it. His head still hurt like mad, no matter what they had done to him. How was it even possible that he was in the same room again after waking up? Where was he now, in the present or the past?

"Can you tell me how many fingers I'm holding up?"

Eunhyuk inwardly wondered how it was possible to have six fingers on one hand, but his face still stayed blank. She pulled something out of the pocket of her coat and only a second later she was blending him with a small flashlight. Eunhyuk blinked his eyes again and she let out a silent sigh as he wrote something down on her clipboard. He thought she turned her head towards him and came closer; a hand was placed on his shoulder.

"There are people waiting outside to visit you, Lee Hyukjae-ssi. I'll let them in, okay?"

His lips stayed sealed and so she patted his shoulder slightly before leaving the room. Eunhyuk slightly turned his head to the window and to the bright light coming inside. He still couldn’t see straight, but at the same time he didn’t mind. There was nothing he minded anymore; his whole world faded in numbness and indifference. The only thing he wished for was that it would stop, everything, once and for all.  
He heard silent steps coming closer and felt something touching his arm not much later. Something rustled.

"Hyukjae?"

The voice he heard was very familiar; he had known it his whole life. But as he slightly turned his head back to the side again, he didn’t see the face it belonged to. Everything he could see was a blurred figure, someone who hid behind a facemask and something bright that covered their whole body. There was even something on the person's head, hiding the hair and the hands resting on his arm were white and felt like rubber again. The person exactly looked like the doctor that had been in his room a couple of minutes ago, and most likely Siwon and Leeteuk had also looked the same. The only thing that wasn’t covered were the eyes, but Eunhyuk's vision was too blurry to recognize them.

"It's me, Sora", she said softly like she could read his mind and came a bit closer. "How are you doing?"

Eunhyuk didn’t find the strength to answer. This question was tiring and he thought that there were no words to describe how he felt. The only thing he wished for was that Donghae would start talking to him again like he had done it for so long. He couldn’t tell how much time had passed since he had heard him the last time, but it felt like an eternity. Eunhyuk wanted him to come back.

"Do you need anything?" his sister asked silently. "I can bring you whatever you want."

He slowly nodded his head. There really was something, someone he needed in that moment. And he didn’t care about if it was possible or not.

"Yes? What is it?"

Eunhyuk slowly parted his chapped lips and took a deep breath through the oxygen tube right underneath his nose. "Dong…hae", he croaked out and his voice was so hoarse that he barely recognized it. It was louder this time though, like it had gained strength overnight and speaking didn’t hurt as much as before. Had he really just slept one night? It felt like he had slept for so much longer. 
Sora hesitated for a long moment.

"Donghae?" she asked to make sure that she had heard right. He hummed silently.

"I want to… hear his voice…" His tongue felt heavy, he thought. Speaking was hard, harder than he remembered it to be. Was he slurring?               
His sister sighed silently.

"You want him to come, don’t you?"

Eunhyuk hummed again and frowned as he swallowed; okay, his throat still hurt and he also still couldn’t tell why. He knew that it wasn’t possible to see Donghae again, but she had asked him if he wanted to. And he did, he wanted him to come so badly.

"That's not possible, you know?" she carefully started and Eunhyuk wasn’t even disappointed. "He can't come."

"…I know", he mumbled therefore and closed his eyes for a few seconds. Wasn’t there an emergency exit somewhere? He really could use one right now.

"How do you know that?" his sister asked him gently. "Did you hear us talk? The doctors said we should keep talking to you – did it work?"

Eunhyuk didn’t understand what she meant. Of course did talking to him work; she did it right now and it also worked. Why shouldn’t it? And so he hummed, just because he thought that this was the right answer to that question. Sora beamed – and if the facemask wouldn’t have hidden it, Eunhyuk would've been able to see it.

"Really? Oh my God, we thought it wouldn’t! Well, Donghae always said that it would, but… we didn’t have as much hope as he did."

The redhead frowned, but decided against asking her about it. He didn’t want to hear her say that Donghae was dead or anything similar. Sora kept caressing his arm and with the strange sensation on his skin, Eunhyuk understood that she was wearing gloves. And those bright clothes – was that protective clothing she was wearing? If it was – why?

"Can you remember what we said?" she asked. "Who did you hear the most?"

Eunhyuk didn’t have to think long to know the answer; there was only one voice he had heard over and over again during the last days. He didn’t know if that really was the answer to her question, but he said it anyway.

"Donghae."

Sora chuckled. "Yeah… He spent the most time here so it's no wonder. I bet he told you the story of his life at least three times in a row, hm?"

Her brother his lips, frowning. Blinking his eyes a couple of times he could see her a bit clearer. "He… was here?" he asked barely audible and thought that this question was ridiculous because he already knew the answer. But his sister gave him another one.

"Yes, of course. He has been here every day until a week ago. Well, in this room, I mean."

Sure. Donghae had been here – in his head. Eunhyuk once again decided against questioning it, just like he refrained from asking why he was lying in a hospital bed. He guessed that he had out after holding Donghae, so he most likely was in the present now. The last thing he remembered there was his coughing fit and how the others had wanted to bring him to the hospital. So that had to be the reason for him being here.

"Do you remember what happened?" Sora asked after some time. "The accident and all that?"

Eunhyuk hummed quietly. Those memories kept replaying in his head and hearing her words brought them back again. The blood, Donghae's blank stare… He couldn’t stand this anymore.

"You do? Wow, that's really unusual. The doctors said you'd most likely suffer from memory loss, but if you remember everything and even heard us talk, you're a little wonder right here."

She chuckled, but Eunhyuk's face stayed blank. How could she laugh when she was talking about something like this, how was anyone allowed to laugh ever again? "I wish… I could forget it", he whispered and winced from the pain he felt as he swallowed once again. His voice really was slurring, very badly even and on top of that his head had never stopped throbbing.

"Why do you say that?"

He sighed and inwardly tried to fight back the images of a dead Donghae popping up in his head. He felt his chest getting heavy and his mind drifting off. There actually was no need in answering this question because the answer was as clear as day, but Eunhyuk did it either way.

"…N-No one should ever see the person… die they love the most", he whispered and let his gaze fall to the sheets. There wasn’t anything wrapped around his hand, he noticed, but as he carefully tried to fist it, it didn’t move at all. His other hand was working fine, but his right one didn’t. Was this what he deserved for punching the mirr