A/N: No proofreading whatsoever.

"The daylight was diminishing little by little, leaving the boy in the bed even more submerged in the darkness. It didn't fit his mood, the sun. For him, the early mornings were the worst even though they were the brightest moment. He had to wake up to a reality he wasn't ready to accept yet. At noon, he would always receive a visit from one of his managers, to talk, to wind up, not to catch up. He wasn't ready for that yet. And in the nighttime, the good mood he had built along the day would come crashing down in front of him without him being able to stop it.

He had asked for it so he was not complaining. That did not make lonely nights easier.

Even more, his mind had time to flow freely and make him anxious. How was he going to solve this situation? Sure, by now he would have had a solution any other time, yet it evaded him with ease.

How could he face his group members after the scene he caused? He was so embarrassed he just wished he didn't have to wake up anymore or that the earth could eat him whole. Even so, he still had responsibilities to fulfill, his consciousness provided.

He still wasn't so sure he had overreacted to Sungyeol's words or if they really meant to make him feel worst. He doubted it, and in consequence, made him more confused and anxious. He knew them, sort of, and they wouldn't. He just wanted to believe in them. But at the same time, he was afraid of being proven wrong yet again.

The controversy, his sudden attack, the reprimand and warning, culminating with the outburst at the hospital. It was too much for him to handle. Too much. He just wanted out.

A knock on the door snapped him out of his musings. A sense of deja vu got ahold of him for a moment when he noticed the dark room and he almost forgot he had to answer.

Who would come at this hour? Not his managers because they had already left. He seriously hoped it wasn't a company representative. "Come in," Sunggyu said warily, moving further into his bed and away from the door.

The door opened and-

"How dare you leave me waiting in the corridor!"

"Hyung!" Sunggyu exclaimed, almost throwing his comforter in excitement.

Heechul huffed in mock annoyance before coming further into the room, turning on the lights and closing the door. "How are you feeling, little troublemaker?" he asked sitting on the chair Sunggyu had for his guests.

The boy felt no heat from the nickname, but the question made him hesitant. How was he? Although he was happy to see his hyung (Super Junior have been busy after their leader came back from the army), he dreaded the encounter. Was he going to confront him?

Sunggyu had always been able to perceive of this kind of things, knowing when something is about to happen (which was why he was so out of it, he didn't see the controversy coming).

Heechul must have sensed the other's discomfort because he changed the topic quickly, knowing Sunggyu had to hold his bearing before answering. "Well, I see you're alive. That's good," he observed.

Sunggyu smiled a little, grateful for his hyung's sense. He knew confrontation was coming, but at least it wasn't coming so soon.

"So, have you been watching that drama I told you about? I can't believe Hee Jun ah did that, I cannot compute it." the older said to start a conversation.

"I have!" the boy exclaimed animatedly. "I couldn't watch it when it aired but I caught up with it just after the concert. I can understand that Soo Min was angry although not to that extent."

"Right? And to think that he was the heir all along? I was so sure it was Jae Hyuk instead."

"No hyung, the signs were all there, laid out in the open. Hee Jun just had to be it."

Heechul sighed loudly and crossed his arms. "What do you know?" He said annoyed.

Sunggyu chuckled at his hyung's antics, fully aware of the older's intentions of making him feel at ease. Such a vulgar conversation.

They kept chit-chatting for a while, enjoying each other’s presence. Sunggyu always felt contented when he was with the older one. Sure, Heechul could be a lot to handle sometimes, but he was always so genuine and caring for those he was close with. Sunggyu knew he could be himself and didn't have to pretend in front of him. At first, it was scary because it felt as if Heechul could read his soul, always so perceptive, but he learned to love every moment he was with the other.

It was a double-edged sword, for him.

"Sunggyu-yah," Heechul said after the boy had finished his little speech over the hospital food. He turned to look at the other after noticing his tone of voice, more serious this time. Heechul was looking at some colorful papers on his night table and Sunggyu felt the blood leave his face.

"'Have a nice day, hyung'" Heechul read. He turned his head to the younger, how looked like a deer caught in the car lights. "Is this from one of your members?" he asked lifting the papers.

Sunggyu avoided the others penetrating stare and nodded. Those papers came from his manager. Every day for the past week he had brought them saying they were from Sungjong. He refused them every day so his manager would his leave them on the table, unopened.

He knew he should feel offended that his hyung was touching his stuff, but at the same time, he was aware that he could use this opportunity to sort his feelings. Talking with his managers was good, to some extent. He needed someone who could understand him. Someone who could see where all his frustrations were coming from. Someone who had gone through something similar.

He wriggled his hands nervously and sighed, calming himself. "Yes," he answered slowly. "From our maknae."

Heechul chuckled. "Maknaes can be a lot to handle, right?" he asked without expecting an answer.

"Hyung," Sunggyu called, searching for the older's eyes. "I need to ask you something."

"About time," he said. "Open up."

"You are not Super Junior's leader, right, but you have been at Leeteuk's side all along. How can he manage all the members? I mean, you've gone through some serious controversies, so how can you still be so close-tight as you are? If something happens and the media gets a hang of it and twists it, how do you deal with the heat? Your group is still standing strong even after all these years, how's it possible not to succumb to internal conflicts? If you ever-"

He stopped. Even if Heechul hadn't uttered a word Sunggyu realized he was now rambling. He fixed his bangs, a nervous habit of his, and laughed, embarrassed. The oldest observed him with no emotion betraying his face. Although the younger knew he could be as bold as he wanted with the other, he still felt unnerved sometimes.

Heechul stood up and approached the bed.

"Hyung?"

The oldest wordlessly took a seat on the bed right next to the other and held the boy's hand in his own. Then, he moved the other and put it right above the youngest's heart while bringing the other's hand to his.

Sunggyu flushed at the proximity and even more after noting that his heart was pounding erratically in his chest and that the other could feel it too. On the other hand, Heechul was as calm as could be.

"Hyung, wha-"

"What are you scared of?" Heechul wondered, his voice soft and calm.

"Huh?"

What was he scared of? Meeting s again? Facing the fans or the media? Failing again?

"Sunggyu-yah," Heechul called. "How's your heart dealing with all of this?"

"My heart? Physically? The doctor said it would be as good as new if I rested correctly." The boy answered.

The SuJu singer smiled. "That's good to hear, Sunggyu-yah, but what I want to know is, how are you feeling about all this. How's your heart, not physically, but your inside, dealing with this."

"It is stressed," the other answered without thinking. "It feels like giving up, like the pressure of the responsibilities this body was given is taking a huge toll to it," he answered, barely a whisper.

Heechul sighed and pulled both boy's hands into his. "This job is hard, isn't it?" he asked. "People don't really give a thought of how difficult it is to be an idol. They are under the impression that you just need to smile, dance and look handsome on stage and you'll earn a fortune, but they don't understand all the effort, physical, mental and psychological effort it takes to finish a 4-minute-long song on stage. It's unfortunate, right?"

Sunggyu listened to the other as he looked at the other's hands. They felt callused, there were small, almost invisible scars here and there, they were strong and soft at the same time. The hands of experience he thought.

"We chose this path on our own, that much is true, yet we are not forced to continue it. You know that right?" he asked. The boy nodded again. Was that really what we wanted? "But," Heechul exclaimed, "don't give up on it because others are telling you to. Don't let others deceive you in what you really want to do, what you want to achieve." He said with a little more force yet still gentle.

I was in a prairie. There were children playing in the flowers. The sun was going down, giving the sky a beautiful orange color. They were laughing, smiling and screaming happily, and without me realizing, I was laughing as well. The atmosphere was warm and cozy. Suddenly, the wind started blowing. The sun went down completely and the children disappeared leaving an empty hole in the landscape.

"I'm scared that I'll never find happiness here. It will never be the same it was before."

The environment turned cold and I started trembling. Out of the blue, two strong arms held me from behind, binding me immobile. The arms were golden and shiny. Every place they touched became heavy. My arms. my shoulders, my chest, my heart. My knees were about to give up because of the sudden weight. I heard the person, a woman, chuckling in my ear. I tried to turn my head to look at her, but then, the wind got stronger. The woman lets go of me and I felt myself flying in the black space.

"I'm scared of the fan. Their disappointment," he amended.

I realized I was now in a dirty, empty room. There was someone else inside. It was a young boy, thin and pale. His skin was scarred and bloody. He was next to the only window in the room and the light obscured his face. Then, I noticed some weight in my hand, so I brought it up and saw that I was holding a whip. Immediately, the boy crouched down and started screaming, sending shivers through my spine. The walls crumbled with the shrieking and the roof fell in between us. The last thing I saw was the boy’s dark, deep eyes, staring at me before the floor gave up throwing me to the nothingness.

"I'm scared I can't contain own fears and I'll hurt those who are beside me even more." My members were left unsaid.

Heechul turned to look at the window. The sky was already dark it must have been late already. Sunggyu's dinner wasn't here yet though. INFINITE's manager must have done something, although he doubted the other would be able to delay it any longer.

"You know," he started, "I have told you the story many times of how and why I'm still in Super Junior, and it involves a very annoying and ugly anchovy. But I'm grateful to him, and maybe not indebted, but I feel I owe him, a little." He chuckled. "The moral of the story is, don't do everything alone. I feel very honored to be trusted by you, but even I can't be with you forever. There are others who can, and I'm sure they will even if you don't ask them," he said, giving him a pointed look.

The boy shifted his sight towards the letters. Those little messages that seemed insignificant, probably meant a lot. He smiled at them. That little guy, he deserved so much better even if he was sometimes annoying. Sunggyu owed him an apology. To all of them.

"I have always believed I had to be strong for them. Put a brave face against anything that came to us and takes the brunt of the hit. They are younger and I'm their leader for a reason."

“They aren’t babies, not anymore,” Heechul responded. “They don’t need your protection anymore. I can’t count a number of times Kyuhyun, Ryeowook, and Siwon have helped us solve issues within the group. Even Donghae and Henry have offered their hand to help,” the other continued. “If there’s an advice I’ll like to give you is, trust your members. Get your support from them. Even if they can’t solve the problem, just saying they will be a relief to you. That’s what Leeteuk does. Oh! And forget about the media, forget about the company, forget about everything that puts more pressure on you. Believe me, it will all pay off at the end,” he finished.

There was a knock on the door. Heechul stood up again and opened it to let the nurse enter.

“Good night Sunggyu-ssi. Good night mister,” she said cheerily. “I brought your dinner,” the nurse said positioning the cart next to the bed.

“Thank you,” Sunggyu answered politely.

The boy waited for the nurse to leave to talk again.

“Thank you, hyung,” he said. “Even if you didn’t exactly answer my questions,” Heechul raised his eyebrow, “it helped me a lot. It cleared my mind.”

“Of course it did, you brat!” the older exclaimed. “And now, what were you saying about Jae Hyuk not being the heir?” He asked approaching the bed threateningly.

“Hyung, it was obvious. How could you not notice it?” the boy teased.

Heechul launched himself to the bed and started a tickle attack. “You should pay brat!” he said.

Sunggyu squirmed and struggled beneath him, laughing and crying at the same time. “No, hyung!” he begged. “Stop!”

Heechul had mercy on him and allowed the boy to take a breath before attacking him yet again, earning even more delightful pleas. Of, he could be a little bit sadist sometimes, but hearing the other laugh was a fitting reward.

They both played and teased each other for about an hour until Heechul deemed it enough for the night. He had schedules and Sunggyu was getting discharged the next day, and maybe a nurse had come and told them to make silence once. Maybe not.

“So, brat, take care of yourself,” Heechul said as he picked up his stuff. “Are you coming to my concert next month?” He wondered.

“Sure! Save me a seat.” Sunggyu confirmed him. “Bye!”

Heechul waved and left the room, just like that. Typical Heechul. Sunggyu chuckled for the nth time that day.

He stood up and closed the curtains. He would wait for the nurse to take his food tray away to sleep. In the meantime, he approached the night table and grabbed the letters his maknae had sent.

He opened the first one and smiled.

A/N: Hello! I owed you an update and here it is. I just realized, again, that hurt/comfort is so satisfying to read but SO HARD to write. Human emotions and behaviors are so complex and complicated that writing this chapter proved to be a challenge. I hope it sounded at least a little bit fine. Props to those who do it right :)

So, did you guess who was going to appear from the previous chapters? It was a wild guess because I didn't give hints, but I think Heechul was the right guy for the roll. And another reason for my late update too.  

As always, I want to thank those who subscribed, those who didn't and are still here, and anyone who's interested in the story. I won't say how many chapters are left because I might jinx the story but I say there aren't many left. Hopeful this will be done by the end of the year thou. lol. 

Oh! And I put it on the story's feed (although honestly, who reads those?) but if there's someone willing to be my beta reader and does not mind my crazy schedules (meaning once in a full moon) please talk to me :)

With nothing else to add, I say goodbye!