❝8th grade syndrome❞

the internet says that
I am at a vulnerable time of my life right now
because I am somewhere
between a child and an adult
and that is a lot like how
a caterpillar wrapping itself around silk walls of cocoon
that I like to call society
because
no matter how long it remains silent
a butterfly would always struggle and slowly
emerge from its own silky white cage in time to come
and that comforts me because
in real life,
I am a piece of glass everyone looks right through
and with no one that I truly feel a connection to,
I find myself standing at the sidelines
and maybe I watch too much anime,
but I want someone to call me their friend
and not give me a chance to doubt their meaning of friendship
and consequently whether or not
I really mean something to them
and maybe I’m still suffering from 8th grade syndrome,
which is a Japanese slang for people, nearing adolescence who
think they are special members of society
and I used to believe that I have magical abilities
and I am the only one capable of fighting against an
age old evil
and I still know that to be true,
but now,
I know that I am just fighting against my own hormones
the same ones that cause my face to turn red at the mention of my poetry
and the same ones that cause outbreaks on my face during exam periods
an