part of a series of drabbles based on a friendship of mine and its eventual decline

Jongdae’s always been an easygoing sort of guy.

He takes easily to lighthearted jabs, teases here and there, the occasional joking insult, all with a smile on his face.

But you can see it in his eyes sometimes, the way they darken subtly when someone touches a nerve too close, and you always wonder what it took to push him over the edge.

Somehow, you’ve come closer more times than anyone else.

Twice.

And you can’t help but wonder I maybe that’s your way of keeping yourself safe.

Pushing him away whenever he gets too close.

But it hurts you too, when he hurts, and you just feel like a ty person all over again.

It’s a vicious back-and-forth cycle between you two, each of you testing out the other’s tolerance, edging closer and closer to the boundary.

Until someone tips the scale and it all comes crashing down.

And usually, it’s you.

And you feel like , especially when Jongdae’s got his serious face on that just doesn’t sit right with you—doesn’t sit right with anyone—and he’s telling you he’s disappointed in you.

You never intend to make him mad, but it seems like you do anyways.

And it kills you, because you have a track record of pushing people away, and Jongdae’s one person you really want to keep.

But the boundaries keep getting more and more blurry, until you’re