You lie in bed, staring at the ceiling of your room.

It’s dark, nearing three in the morning, but somehow, you can’t sleep.

You’re thinking about him again.

And you wonder what he’s doing right now.

Is he sleeping?

Does he have a schedule?

Is he having a late night snack with his bandmates?

Or is he, god forbid, cheating on you?

You don’t know.

You’ll never know.

You think back to all the times in the mirror, when you looked at yourself and wished you could change yourself.

How you’d make yourself perfect.

How it would make him happy.

(And it would make you happy too, you told yourself, as you ran another mile on the treadmill.)

Your mind supplies for you images of life only a few months ago; you’re happy, smiling, radiant. You look like nothing could ever bring you down, and you’re having the time of your life.

That was before the doubt started creeping in, before the lonely nights and cold sheets your only embrace.

What you wouldn’t give, to turn back time then, before the ugly truths began to show.

But of course, life just can’t work that way, can it?