Yo wassup guise!

So a few of you commented on how funny my teacher was, so I asked myself, "Should I dedicate a whole chapter to my school people?"

Then I decided.

"Yes!"

So basically this chapter will not have any complaints, just purely funny teachers and some interesting lessons I had. Figured I'll do something light-hearted! Careful though, there might be a few parts that might make you squeamish!

First, my Biology teacher (the ones who talked about balls and stuff).

We recently learnt the chapter about cell division and there were so many hilarious things that came out of it!

For instance, when she was trying to give examples, she would pick names from our class. Example (John represents one of my classmates): Homologous chromosomes from the dad and the mom would pair up and crossing over would happen. Like if John has this red hair gene, then his wife will have a yellow hair gene at the same location.

Then when we were learning about dominant genes: For example if John has a green skin gene and his wife has a purple skin gene, and the green skin gene is dominant, their child will have green-coloured skin.

And all this while we were just, "Is there even such a gene?" and "LOL green skin and red hair!" (They were just examples cited by the teacher by the way, they don't really exist)

Oh and another time, we were talking about male reproductive parts (somehow the topic on balls always comes back to us) and she said that was originally a medicine for the weak-hearted, but when people discovered that there was an interesting side-effect when consumed, someone used it to make the famous product we have today.

Also, she told us the story of how a man took too much and his stayed erected for hours until it turned blue, eventually having to cut it off because of the lack of oxygen supplied. Oh and she explained how a gets erected in the first place, which is totally unrelated by the way, but we didn't mind because it was too interesting!

Haha I can't think of anything else right now, so I'll move on!

During one of the Biology lessons, we were learning about plant reproduction so we had to know the parts of a flower. I made some erted references, and my friends thought that they were funny, so I figured to share them with you guise!

You guise know about pollen right? It fertilises the flowers. Then I said this to my friend: If pollen fertilises flowers, then it means that it is the of plants. And when we breathe in pollen, aren't we breathing in ?

I said this right after the first one: Wait, so if the ovary walls becomes the skin of the fruit later on, it means we're actually eating ovaries of plants?

I'm lame haha.

Next, my ex-Chemistry teacher.

If you had Chemistry lessons, you would most probably know about the different elements and how they react. In this case, he was explaining how metals will react with halogens.

He said, "In this reaction, the metal is like a boy. He has a relationship with a not-so-pretty girl, called Iodine. He sees a prettier girl, named Bromine. Now you know how vain boys are, they always go for the prettier ones. So he breaks up with Iodine, and goes away with Bromine. As you go up the group, the elements so-call get prettier, making them more reactive."

And one time, we were having this open house to our school and I was helping out. We had this electrostatic generator, everyone tried to touch it and we got out fine, but he went to use a controller to touch it. Now, using something that somewhat contains electricity to touch something else that gives off electricity is not a good idea. In fact, he got electrocuted (not badly) and we were just standing at the side laughing.

Did I also mention that he swears in class? He's probably one of the only few people who swears in front of his students and allows students to swear in front of him.

And my current Chemistry teacher.

Every time when we have Chemistry lessons, he would always crack jokes to try to make the class laugh but I have people in my class who thinks that he's lame. Well, I think that his jokes are pretty funny and I enjoy them, and I also appreciate the effort he's putting in to not make the lesson seem so dull.

However, I have two other teachers who think that his jokes are really cold (It's true to a certain extent though) and one of them told us this: One time I sat in the backseat of the car with him because someone else was driving and throughout the journey, he was just cracking his lame jokes non-stop. At one point of time, I couldn't take it anymore and I asked the driver to drop me off at the nearest drop-off corner.

Then, my ex-Maths teacher.

One time she was teaching the class Maths (like duh), and we got a little too noisy for the class to be conducted properly, and she uttered out, "Don't talk and listen to my deep manly voice!"

The whole class went quiet and then broke into laughter shortly after. And yeah, her voice was pretty deep but I think it's nice.

I had an English teacher a few years back too.

One time, the class was in the middle of a discussion when one of my class boys said something about G-strings. My teacher heard, and instead of reproaching us, his face became really red and he was laughing along with us. Ever since then, someone (different person every time) would just shout "G-string" in every lesson.

English lesson last year.

We were learning about visual texts and how we can pick out important points from the images during one lesson, and the response from one of my classmates was so funny!

My teacher was asking the boys, "If you see a beautiful female model beside a product, would it attract you to buy the product?"

And one of them said, "I would buy the girl."

My teacher was lost for words!

I think I'm done for today, and whoa, I wrote so much! This is even longer than normal rants. Well, I think happy/good things should always last longer right?

I really hope none of my friends will see this, and I certainly don’t wish for any of my teachers to know I’m talking about them here (although I’m not talking bad about them).

This update is not a rant but if you have any other issues you wanna bring up, lemme know in the comments or you can pm me in the messages if you wanna have a chapter/topic all to yourself (I’ll credit you!). Ciao!

-immajokervip