18 Break Up
Bitter Love, Complicated Life
[Gikwang's POV]
"So have you told Sora?" Hyunseung asks with doubt.
We are sitting in circle after we're done with our dance practice. Even though we just performed for United Cube Concert four days ago, we still need to get ready for next week United Cube Concert at Japan.
There is a really unexplained atmosphere between us.
"No," Yoseob murmurs weakly. "Not yet."
Then the awkward silence fills the room again. This is happening more often in the last two days.
Two days ago, an official announcement has been announced to the public due to the pictures of Yoseob and Sora. The news has spread around the internet, magazine, and more public media.
I'm sure Sora has already knew about the announcement; the problem is Yoseob hasn't talked to her. Not even once after the announcement.
"Did she contact you?" Junhyung asks. His face shows his concern for this issue.
"Ne," Yoseob leans to the wall and closes his eyes.
He is so not in the mood to talk. Of course he is.
The moment after we visited his mother in hospital, his facial expression turned to be really gloomy. You will definitely do the same if your mother was attacked by your lover's fans.
Yoseob asked us not to say a word to Sora about it; she will definitely blame herself for the attack and who knows what she will do.
Yoseob went right away to the CUBE Entertainment building to meet the President. All of BEAST members were called for the meeting because a decision would be made for the issue.
"We will try to talk with Sora," Doojoon pats Yoseob's back. "We will help you."
"How?" Yoseob hisses. "By telling her that her crazy fans attacked my mother? By telling her that the announcement must not be a fake one?"
"I still can't believe her fans would do something like that," Dongwoon sighs. "It's a luck that no one covered up about the incident or it will be a really big issue."
I cross my arms quietly; I can't think of a better solution than the public announcement.
[Yoseob's POV]
CUBE Entertainment representative has announced that I'm not dating Sora. And, as the President stated, I must not act against the announcement which means I need to break up with Sora.
No. I don't want to.
After all I did to get her heart. After all these times and she finally realized her feeling towards me. How can I let her go?
My mother is not mad with Sora; instead she told me to take care of myself since Sora's fans might attack me someday if the line hasn't been drawn between me and Sora.
I was dilemma.
I can't tell Sora about the incident; what will she feel if she knows that her fans were the cause? Sure I can hire security to protect my mother but what if public sense something fishy has happened and they cover up the incident?
That day when I met the President, I remembered that he told me that my reputation was on the thin line; if I didn't make a decision, it would cause a big riot between our fans.
"Tell me the truth," President asked with serious tone, "are you in a relationship with Kim Sora or not?"
I stunned but then I answered slowly, "Yes..."
He sighed with disappointment, "Why didn't you listen to my warning? You know the rule. You know the consequences."
"Ne," I stared at the floor. My heart was aching.
"We can turn this situation if we publish an announcement to the public," President stepped closer to me. "You can decide it or you can have me to decide for you."
"BEAST's reputation is on your hand," he stopped right in front of me. "Your deal."
I clenched my fists. Why was all of these must be so hard on me? Why was all of these must be so complicated?
I just want to tell them that I am indeed in a relationship with Sora, asking them to accept our relationship if they are supporting us truly, if they are our real fans.
But I don't want her to be hurt. I don't want her to be the one to be blamed because of our relationship.
"I'm really sorry," President muttered when I kept silence. "I know it's really hard for you to choose. Looks like you really love Sora."
I held my breath, praying that there must be a better way for us.
"It's not that I forbid you to meet her. I just can't let you to start a relationship now. I think you must have realized the fact that you're still not ready to start a relationship now," he continued. "You still have long way to go, Yoseob. You can't work on your best state and you can't make her happy if you still stay like this."
The words crushed me down.
"I...," I cleared my throat awkwardly. "Please do the announcement."
I'm still regretting my own decision. Even the other members are really sad because of my decision but they can't give another solution.
This is the best we can do. The best I can do.
[Sora's POV]
It's been two days since I read the article and Yoseob didn't reply any of my messages. I tried to call him with international call, I even asked Mina to talk with him but Mina said that they were busy at the time.
I asked Mina about the announcement and, for my surprise, she doesn't know the reason behind it. Dongwoon told her that she will know the reason soon.
I didn't tell Mina about my arrival at Seoul today but I will meet her soon in the CUBE Entertainment building. I will make some changes in the contract term so I can help Mina with the work as professional photographer.
I've been struggling with the anxiety these days, since the announcement has been published and Yoseob is avoiding me. Something must be happened and I don't know what it is.
I just arrived at CUBE Entertainment building. I have put my luggage in a hotel because I will stay at there for tonight before I can find a new apartment.
I take the elevator to reach the President's room. It's good that I didn't meet any of BEAST members.
"Come in," a voice replies after I knocked the door.
I open the door slowly and find the President is sitting behind the table, working on some documents.
He immediately looks up when I step in the room. I bow to him and greet him politely.
"Kim Sora," he stops his work and gives me a warm smile. "I've been waiting for you since your sister told me about your arrival today. How's your flight?"
"Good," I answer calmly. "I guess my sister has told you about my purpose here."
"Sure, I know," he puts down his pen, still having the warm smile. "It's about the contract term. Since Mina is still a student, I can get it. You will work again as BEAST personal photographer along with her. But the salary will not be increased. Is that right?"
I nod and he continues, "So I guess BEAST will have two photographers once in a while and I think it will be good to have more documentations of them."
He agree with it easily. I think he will refuse to it due to the issue between me and Yoseob.
He even has prepared the contract for me to sign. I read the contract terms and agree with the condition where I need to stay at least six months until my first contract end.
"Can I ask something?" I mutter right after he just called Mina to come to his office. "It's about the announcement of Yoseob's relationship."
"Ah," he put the contract in an envelope, "I hope you will keep your best and professional work even though you're not in a relationship anymore with Yoseob. I can see that the other members also love to have you back."
I think my heart has stopped beating for a second when I hear his words.
Not in a relationship anymore?
"The public will believe in the announcement if you keep working with them actually, knowing that it's only a rumor and you are welcomed by the whole group," the President smiles to me. "It is a good thing you came back and stay at Seoul."
Before I could even ask for the detail, Mina knocks on the door and steps inside.
"Unnie!" she rushes to me and hugs me with excitement. "You're back! You're back! Why didn't you tell me?!"
I don't react since I'm still shocked with what the President just said to me.
Mina releases her hug and gives me a really bright smile, "Let's go meet the others!"
"Ah, Mina, I need to talk to you about the new contract," the President mumbles. "But Sora can leave first if she wants to meet BEAST."
"I'll catch up later, Unnie," Mina waves her hand and I bow to the President, leaving his office and walks to the dance practice since Mina has told me that they are practicing for their upcoming concert.
I need to get an explanation. I thought the announcement was only a cover. But the fact that the President knows about our relationship is really surprising me.
I find the dance practice room and try to open it slightly to prevent any noise.
My heart skips a beat when I hear their conversation.
"When will you tell Sora?" I hear Doojoon's voice. "You can't keep her waiting forever."
"I don't know," Yoseob answers with a weak voice. "I don't know what to say."
"Well, you can say that it's a demand from our President," Junhyung mutters. "Maybe she will understand if it's the reason."
"I...," Yoseob pauses for seconds. "I don't know how to break up with Sora."
There. My heart aches really bad.
"Unnie?" Mina comes from behind. She has done the discussion with the President. "Why are you waiting outside?"
I'm so in trouble.
[Yoseob's POV]
I don't want to think of anything. I can't think of anything and they keep asking me about Sora. But then I know they are trying to make everything better.
"Let's just continue the practice," I stand up but Doojoon's grab my hand to stop me.
"When you will tell Sora?" he asks me with serious expression.
I sigh, "I don't know. I don't know what to say."
How can I tell her that I want to break up with her for real without telling her the reason? I don't want to see her cry or sad. Geez.
"Well, you can say that it's a demand from our President," Junhyung gives an option. "Maybe she will understand if it's the reason."
It's not that easy.
"I...," I rub my head. "I don't know how to break up with Sora."
"Unnie?" Mina's voice from behind the door makes us turn. "Why are you waiting outside?"
Unnie?
No. Don't tell me it's Sora. She is in Paris, isn't she?
The door is pushed open by Mina and my eyes widen once I see Sora, standing with a shocked expression on her face.
"Look who's back!" Mina shouts happily. "Sora Unnie is back with us!"
It's only five days since the last time I met her but I miss her already.
I really want to hug her, to tell her that I miss her so much.
But I can't.
I must stick with the plan or another issue will come up.
"Sora!" Hyunseung stands up and approaches her. "When did you arrive at Seoul?"
She lets Hyunseung hugs her but she still has the shock all written on her face when she murmurs, "This morning..."
The other members stand up as well and hug her in turn, telling her that they are really happy to see her again.
She's not giving us a happy expression; she keeps looking at me. Probably because I don't hug her like the others did while I'm supposed to be her boyfriend.
There is this awkward silence all of a sudden. Mina is the only person who has the bright smile on face; she doesn't know about my relationship with Sora at all.
I clear my throat nervously and look at Sora. She looks back at me.
"Hey," I mutter slowly. "Can we talk?"
[Sora's POV]
We leave the dance practice room and head to the rooftop of the building. He doesn't speak a word even when we're waiting for the elevator. He doesn't even smile.
After we reached the rooftop, he gives his back to me, not even trying to look at me.
"About the announcement," he starts the conversation. "You know it already, right?"
I take a deep breath, "Ne."
I want to know his reason. Please tell me it's not true.
"I'm sorry, Sora," he says, almost sounds like a whisper. "I don't think we can continue our relationship."
I know that people said that love can be painful sometimes but I never thought it will be this hurt.
"Why?" I try to control my emotion. "Don't use the rule as your reason."
He can't. I know it's not the reason. Junhyung was only trying to give him solution and Yoseob has known the rule since the first time.
"It's just...," he pauses for seconds, "...not the right time. I think I need to focus with my works."
It's ridiculous. Does he want me to believe him with that reason?
"Don't lie," I clench my fists. I'm holding back my tears.
"Let's just work as professionals," he rubs his head. "We're family, aren't we?"
"Then why did you confess to me?" a tear escapes. "Why didn't you just let me know nothing about love?"
"Sora ah," his face soften and he steps forward to me but I step backwards quickly.
"Don't," I bite my bottom lip. "It hurts enough."
I wipe my tears roughly and rushes to the door, leaving him alone at the rooftop.
I cry.
I never know that loving someone can be this hurt.
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