How do you go back to change something that was bound to happen?

Kibum was currently sitting at the dining room table of the apartment he called home. A pencil was to his lip as he pondered the question he had just read. Soon he started tapping the pencil on his lip until he threw the pencil down. His mind had gone blank. After an hour of doing homework, this was his last question that he was supposed to have a creative answer to for his writing class. The non-creative answer was simple, you couldn’t go back to change something. If it was bound to happen, then it was just another word for meant. The event was meant to happen and there was nothing to stop it from occurring. That simple answer would easily get rejected by his teacher but that was how he felt. You can’t travel back in time so the mere thought was a question to never be answered and pointless to ponder over. Time travel was only possible in science fiction stories.

He stretched his arms up, swaying from side to side. His back side was starting to ache from sitting for too long. Pushing the seat back away from the table he stood up while he continued to do stretches. The back of his neck ached, his shoulders were stiff, he needed a good massage. Walking the distance to the kitchen, he took a cup out and filled it with water to hydrate himself. It was almost nine thirty but he had not seen Jonghyun the whole day. It worked out a little for him considering a few hours back he had come back with Amber in tow as they did homework together. He wanted a different setting than from the library which had become their second home and daily unofficial dates. After Amber left, he could do a lot more work than with her around. It wasn’t that having a girlfriend was making his grades suffer, it was that he much rather talk with her whenever they were together.

Finishing the glass of water, he made his way back to his workload. His math homework was still left untouched but a small piece of paper laid neatly above it. It was the information for contacting Irene. He wasn’t 100% sure as to why he had yet contacted Irene to set up tutoring lessons. Part of it was the look on Amber’s face when she told him about how she’s known for being a beauty. Another part was that he didn’t know who she was and if Minho knew her, he was weary of asking for help from an acquaintance of Minho.

Kibum couldn’t help the smile that made its on his lips at remembering back to Minho the previous afternoon. His presence and friendly talk was rather welcomed by Amber. His jealous side showed up when seeing how she would smile at Minho and how she readily accepted his apology and to help him. It made him wonder if they had a past that he was not aware of. When he asked Amber she just let him know that out of all the friends, she had grown close to Minho due to always being with Krystal. She just simply missed seeing his playful side, not the jerk side everyone else would witness.

Though Minho was considered a jerk, Kibum didn’t pay much heed to it. That was until Minho started talking to him in their mutual math class. Minho was rather friendly to him to the point of it being annoying. He spoke way too much to be the object of so many girls’ affection. At least, that was his own opinion on the matter of Choi Minho being dubbed the most desirable and good looking boy in school. Yet he could not deny that under all that athleticism and loudness, was someone who realized how empty they are without the one person they took for granted. He was so empty that Kibum was pleasantly surprised at knowing how he wanted to help Taemin regardless of their fallen through friendship. Minho, in a sense had a heart of gold. From what Amber said he also had a big soft spot for Taemin.

The door opening startled him, taking him from his train of thoughts that were leading him far from the point of calling Irene to set up the first tutor session before the semester was over. Jonghyun walked in, looking like the walking dead. It was time for finals and his studying was longer, while he still worked. Kibum could only imagine all the work Jonghyun had. Just looking at his roommate drained him from energy. Jonghyun simply looked up to see him standing by the dining table. Kibum raised his hand in a hello to which Jonghyun nodded.

“There’s food in the fridge that I set apart, in case you’re hungry.”

“You do not realize how grateful I am to have you be my roommate. It’s like having a girlfriend without the commitment.” Jonghyun smiled, dropping his backpack by his bedroom door and going straight to get the food.

“Yah!” it was all Kibum could say. He watched Jonghyun preparing his food and decided to ask the question at the back of his mind. “Do you know anything about a girl named Irene?”

Jonghyun turned around with his mouth full of side dishes. As he chewed he looked up as if thinking back. Swallowing the food, he nodded his head right as the microwave beeped. “Yeah, but not much. I just know that she once tutored Minho and Sulli in math. Krystal of course tagged along to all the tutoring sessions due to her thinking Irene was too pretty for her own good. She’s rather quiet, in the sense that she keeps to herself.”

Kibum nodded. At least he knew why Minho had mentioned her and spoke highly of her. She had once tutored him. But knowing that she kept to herself sort of lifted a weight off his shoulders. It meant she did not care for being part of any of the spotlight and he could live with that considering now he was way too spotlighted just for having started to date Amber.

“So why you ask, are you interested in Irene or something? You shouldn’t do that to Amber.”

Kibum raised his arm as if to hit Jonghyun who was carrying his food over to the table. “Aish, no I am not interested. It’s the same reason as to why Minho knows her. I’m struggling with math and he mentioned her. That is all. I’ve been contemplating calling due to how insecure Amber looked when she mentioned that Irene was said to be beautiful.”

“And you’re not going to call because of that? Wouldn’t you lose your scholarship if you fail a class?”

Kibum watched as Jonghyun stuffed his mouth, the whole time he had taken his phone out and input her number in. “Why do you think I’m calling now?”

The phone rang and was soon picked up by a soft voice saying hello from the other line. He didn’t realize that phone call was going to shift things for him.

***

Laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling he thought back to his conversation with Krystal. He had agreed with her that he needed Minho back in his life but he only said that to not go further into the subject. What he really needed was for Kai to stop ignoring him or asking Sehun how Jinri was doing, while they practiced the dance. He could live without Minho and a great deal of that reasoning came from harboring ill feelings towards his childhood friend. Laying there, Taemin realized just how stupid it was that he went from looking up to Minho to hating him, all because of girl. But Jinri wasn’t just a girl . . . he digressed. Jinri really was just some girl. She was his friend who happened to be a girl. She was his crush who also happened to be a girl. She was his first broken heart, his first excited heartbeat, and his biggest mistake.

She needed to only be a girl. The small argument that he was having with Naeun was due to that girl. He noted the changes in Naeun but it didn’t mean he was just going to do as Krystal wanted and dump her. There was no really reason as to why he should dump her. Okay, so there was because he didn’t harbor feelings for her. But she was supposed to be like all the other girls he would date here and there. Somehow, Naeun had made it past the time of just three weeks and became his first official girlfriend. There was a soft spot for the girl with the shy smile. Whenever he thought back to why Naeun, he recalled how he had ran into her as she carried her books. She couldn’t even look him in the eyes as her cheeks burned crimson. It was endearing and from that moment on she was on his radar.

Recently that shy girl was shifting to something else. He couldn’t pinpoint it and even if he wanted to blame her or accuse her of seeing someone behind his back, he was no better because during the time that he was “wooing” her, he was still going around and sleeping with Jinri. It would be the pot calling the kettle black if he broke the relationship apart over something like being unfaithful. Taemin stopped. His thought process was all sorts of messed up and he blamed his unstable emotional state. How stupid could he be to say Jinri’s name when Naeun was trying to be intimate?

Abruptly sitting up, he looked around his room. He zoomed in on the framed picture on his desk. Maybe Naeun never said anything as to avoid an argument but it was merely of him and Jinri. This stupid heart of his had to move on. Standing up he walked up, picked up the frame, walked to his closet, and put it away in the top shelf with other boxes from his childhood. Jinri did not care for him. Even if she did he ruined it for himself because he believed someone who he didn’t even know. Hyunwoo was too much of a credible voice to him at the time of the information given. He had heard of how they kissed and Jinri didn’t deny it from happening that his brain logically said that them having was more than logical.

“Yah, Lee Taemin!”

Taemin turned to the voice that carried from downstairs through his open door. He sauntered out of his room to the top of the staircase, at the bottom was Onew. He hadn’t expected his cousin to visit him. The las