A Thing Called Love

by Syaadan

Title: 4/5

I think it's a little vague. I mean, it fits into the story, but it's unoriginal. Scrolling down my list of bookmarks, I had to remember what it was, and why I was reading it. It doesn't grab me. And technically, 'Love' should be in quotations.

Description: 4/10

First, you have the description way too far down the page. People need a quick synopsis of the story as soon as they click that 'foreword' page, or they will click away. What they're greeted with is a cast of characters, and then the description is in the 'foreword' section. You need to flip that.

Second, the description it's self is a bit much. Aside from the grammatical errors(which you NEVER want to have, as it is the first thing readers judge), you give away too much. From reading it, I was able to surmise that; Girl has two guy friends, new guy will threaten that, she says she doesn't like guy, guy probably says he doesn't like her, but they fall in love at the end. Granted, other things happen along the way, but that is the basic plot of the story. From reading that alone, I knew what was going to happen . . . so why read the rest?

Descriptions are important, and hard to do well. I understand. There needs to be just enough information and vagueness to grab the readers attention. Give them enough to know what to expect, but not enough that they can anticipate the plot line.

Plot: 25/35

It's good, but there is a lot going on. There's 'too much' drama. I will say that you did a good thing by making her 'the bad guy' with Minseok. I thought that area of the plot line was well done. I like the relationship with Chanyeol and 'Kate', it's cute, but it could have been a separate story. I kept reading because I wanted to know about Baekhyun and 'her', not about Luhan and Ji.

I think you should separate them out. Have these side stories as their own chapters dedicated to just them, and tell the reader that ahead of time. That way, if they want to skip it and go back to them later, they can. Otherwise, it's like, 'I got really excited that there was an update, but the update doesn't tell me anything that I want to know.' Does that make sense?

Conflicts: 9/10

There's a lot of conflict