Almost Heaven

Please credit us in your foreword.

Title: 5/5

Short and relative to the story. Good job.

Description: 6/10

It’s a little long and should really be put in chapter 1, the prologue. Here is where you need snippets of the actual story.

Plot and Originality: 33/45

You’re consistent with the flow of the story. What I saw was a simple plot with a typical plot. Lots of people use diseases as a way to kill off a character. It’s a good idea, really, but throw in at least one other twist, like she once had the disease, but got rid of it for some time. Who knows? There’s a world of ideas out there. Out of the points I’m taking off, most of it is from the originality. These kinds of stories are all over.

Conflicts: 7/10

The only conflict I can see is the disease, and so far, that’s fine because you’re not far enough into the story. Now, if the story is short and almost over, you need a couple more small conflicts inside of the main one.

Grammar and spelling: 10/15

Like you said, you’re not a native English speaker. That’s okay. What you need to do is get someone to edit your writing or study more English. You get your nouns and verbs mixed up a lot, too. Work on them. But being a native speaker myself, I found it fairly easy to understand.

Characters: 4/5

You included all of EXO, which was a little over-the-top. Most readers don’t like a lot of chara