Utopia--Vigilant
A Thousand Memories Review and Poster Shop [BUSY]Utopia
by Vigilant
Title: 5/5
I like it. It fits into the story, it's easy to remember. Good.
Description: 8/10
It's detailed without giving away the plot, but the second line confuses me. Is his mind having a reaction to his body wasting away that causes the downward spiral? I'm not seeing the connection there.
Plot: 35/35
It's hard to give or take points for this because you've only written one chapter of the story so far. That being said, I can see this being an interesting plot line.
Conflicts: 0/10
No conflicts as of yet, so I can't give you points.
Originality: 10/10
It's definitely not cliché, I'll give you that. The idea that the bulk of this story will take place in his mind is pretty cool. Good job.
Grammar and spelling: 15/15
I only saw one issue. When you have a quote inside of quotes, you use a single, not a double. So instead of it saying “the boss of me”, it should read, 'the boss of me'.
Characters: 0/5
Again, it's too early in the story to have a feel for who the characters are. All you've done is describe Myungsoo as beautiful. I know nothing about Sungjong and he's the main character.
Emotions: 4.5/5
I can 'feel' Sungjong's pain and frustration at the beginning of the story. I took half o
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