rating: G

genre: angst, romance

word count: approx. 550+

*note: this is a follow-up to "unlovable"

She’ll break you before you even have the chance to save her.

Jongin had been told that numerous times, but he never actually believed it. He didn’t want to. Even though Soojung never asked to be saved, he refused to believe that his attempts were futile. Soojung couldn’t have been incapable of loving, no human ever was such a thing. It was just too ridiculous for him to believe because, if anything, Jongin was an incurable optimist. He liked to fix things, real or unreal, physical or intangible, fractured or completely broken to bits.

But with that kind of optimism, Jongin risked certain things. By letting himself be so available, so ready to help, he gave others permission to hurt him. People didn’t take advantage of this too often, of course—he was much too nice, much too wholesome, to ever truly be hurt. In a world where everyone was familiar with some kind of pain or heartache, for Jongin, there was no such thing because he was just that hopeful.

He hoped his love would reach her.

He hoped his love would change her.

He hoped his love would show her the world the way he saw it: A beautiful place where things and people could be mended so that they were stronger than they were before. And for a while, Jongin believed it did work because Soojung wasn’t acting as abrasive as she was when they had first met. She no longer treated him as an enemy. She saw him the way he saw her—sometimes as a friend and, maybe, something more.

And Jongin did love her. He didn’t see her as some kind of experiment that needed to be tampered and tended for constantly. He saw her the way she was—bitter, distrusting, and doubtful—and went after her anyways. Blindly, he climbed her fences, took down her walls, kicked through her doors unannounced and said, I’m here now, so let me fix it.

Which was, undoubtedly, a huge mistake.

In breaking past all Soojung's defenses, Jongin did the exact opposite of what he intended to do. He broke her as if she were a delicately wrapped piece of china, careless in his love for her that in the end proved to be too much for the girl to handle. He cast light in the darkest parts of her heart, a light so bright it almost burned her from the inside out. He frightened her, an almost mystical image in a time when hope and love were just byproducts of myths and fairytales.

Jongin never believed in myths, nor did he believe in fairytales. He didn’t believe in the impossible because he felt as if he alone could make it all possible with the saying of three simple, yet powerful, words. Only, he never got the chance to say them because by accidentally breaking Soojung, he let her break him. He gave her unspoken permission when he left his heart on her doorstep, untouched and unprotected, free from locks, chains, and scars only to be crushed and thrown out by the very person he gave it to.

Soojung broke Jongin, and Jongin doesn’t believe he’ll be able to fix it. Not now, and maybe not ever. In him, his heart still beats, painful and crestfallen, misshaped and slightly displaced—forever wondering what it was that he did wrong.

author's note: Cutting it really close this Friday, huh? It's really short, though, since I'm kind of pressed for time XD My family and I are leaving for a weekend vacation tomorrow, and where we're going has no wifi -- which I think is really weird. But I could use a break, so it's all good :)

This drabble is basically the other side of "unlovable." While Soojung knows why she did what she did, Jongin has no idea and he truly believes that it was his fault that everything went bad. Not much of a happy ending for these two here, what with their skewed views of the reality. And I'm not sure if I feel up to writing a happy ending since I can't imagine ending it any other way. These two drabbles chronicled the end of a relationship, and though sad, I feel like I should just leave it at that.

And that's that! It's past midnight here, so I REALLY need to start packing for tomorrow. Thank you all so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it, and I wish you all a happy, happy weekend. See you again next week! - Ella