<10:23AM>

 

Do Kyungsoo can’t stand the pressure any longer.

 

The weight on his heart weighs more than it should, and he’s afraid it’s going to shatter.

 

So finally, Kyungsoo crawls out from under his covers. The cool air chills his skin.

 

With dread wedged deep in his chest, Kyungsoo opens the window without difficulty and steps outside.

 

I just need to see for myself… whether or not Jongin is there.

 

He hates himself for who he is right now. The person who couldn’t let go, the person who just couldn’t accept it the way it was.

Kyungsoo would just take a peek. A peek.

 

He grabs the handrail of the fire escape in a death grip and steps down those stairs again.

 

But Kyungsoo doesn’t even need to reach the bottom of the sixth floor.

 

He stands there, in between the two floors, staring at the window with closed shutters, his pink post-it still fluttering there like a forgotten handkerchief.

 

When he’s sitting back on his bed, eyes staring at something far away, he fingers the hem of his pajamas anxiously.

 

He really isn’t there.

 

Kyungsoo can feel the seams of his mind coming loose, the desperate state of losing control and wandering around in circles.

 

He wants to try one last time.

 

If there was no answer, Kyungsoo would give up.

 

That’s it.

 

Kyungsoo will personally go down to the 6th floor through the elevator and stand in front of Kim Jongin’s door to knock on it.

 

Then, when Jongin opens the door, he will introduce himself as “Do Kyungsoo from upstairs,” smiling confidently.

 

After that, Jongin would say “Hello,” back.

 

And in the end, the door will close, Kyungsoo will go back upstairs, and that will be the last time Do Kyungsoo attempts to communicate with Jongin again.

 

Kyungsoo was ready.

 

He was going to do this. Really.

 

But in his mind, he knew he would never make it to the elevator, much less stand in front of Jongin and smile at him.

 

A sigh ripples through him, and he holds his slightly damp hand steady on the doorknob.

 

A pause filled with tension fills the interval, as he finally twists the knob and pulls the door open.

 

Shock. Recognition. Disbelief. And hesitance.

 

Do Kyungsoo never expected this.

 

...This wasn’t the way it was supposed to go.

 

The man steps forward slowly and holds out his hand.

 

He looks straight at Kyungsoo.

 

“Hi… This is Kim Jongin from the sixth floor.”

 

Kyungsoo stares, feeling a bit dizzy.

 

He isn’t sure what he’s doing, but somehow, his hand makes its way into Jongin’s and they’re shaking hands.

 

His lips form the words themselves, “Do Kyungsoo.”

 

He looks up at Jongin.

 

“Do Kyungsoo from the seventh floor.”

 

Jongin stands there a little longer before asking him in a low tone, “Are you okay?”

 

Kyungsoo feels the brittle wall he had built in a hurry crash to the floor.

 

“...W-why wouldn’t I be okay?”

 

“I was just wondering.”

 

Jongin looks him over once for any tattle tale sign of abnormality.

 

The silence grows a little heavy with awkwardness as they stand there.

 

A faint blush brushes over Kyungsoo’s cheeks, and he feels a bit self-conscious.

 

“Can I...come inside?”

 

Kyungsoo opens his mouth, but no words seem to escape, and he reluctantly obliges by opening the door a little wider.

 

Jongin slowly steps into Kyungsoo’s world, where things are little more unstable and blurred.

 

Then, Kyungsoo closes the door behind him, and it shuts with a final “click.”

 

When Jongin sees Kyungsoo, he realizes that everything he’s ever thought Kyungsoo looked like didn’t fit the perfect blend of large eyes, short height, and everything else Kyungsoo-like.

 

The words push out before he refrains them.

 

“I like your voice.”

 

The reaction from Kyungsoo, Jongin admits, was unbelievably cute.

 

Kyungsoo’s ears redden noticeably and he nearly trips over the perfectly fine floor before catching himself by grabbing the desk next to him.

 

But, the sketchbook and the pencil topple over the edge and Jongin bends down to pick them up.

 

“D-don’t look at them.”

 

Jongin looks at him, and he finally sees who stands before him.

 

Kyungsoo was someone who was broken and locked up.

 

He was the treasure chest under the sea. The destination after a perilous long journey.

 

That’s who he was.

 

And in that moment, dams are destroyed and rivers are released.

 

“Jongin-- I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for everything. For putting post-its on your window every morning… for waiting for you to answer every night. For crying useless tears over someone who doesn’t do the same, and for holding a unrequited love too close to my heart. Jongin, it hurts, and I’m telling you this right now because I don’t think I can do so again. This is the first and last time; I promise you.”

 

Kyungsoo is cracking open right now, and Jongin knows it.

 

He’s been waiting patiently somewhere for this moment.

 

Tears are streaming down, probably for the hundredth time, and Kyungsoo just looks so lost.

 

Do Kyungsoo’s hands are fumbling, and all Jongin wants to do is wrap his hands around them.

 

“No.”

 

Jongin looks straight on at him.

 

“You’re wrong.”

 

He continues.

 

“Kyungsoo, you’re wrong. This isn’t going to be the first and last time. This is just the first time. When you put that first post-it on my window, it was fixed. It’s not changing again, and it’s never going to change again.

 

“When I wake up tomorrow morning, I want to pull up my shades and see your pink post-it in the center of my window, parallel to the walls and the floor.

 

“I want to be able to store that precious post-it away with all the others I’ve kept from the very beginning.

 

“And when the sun has fallen down the horizon, I want to write a post-it back to you. And when I wake up the next morning, I want it to be gone. I don’t want to see it anymore. Do you know why?

 

“Because I want to feel at peace that you received it. That Do Kyungsoo received my post-it.”

 

Kyungsoo had been afraid of leaping off the cliff,

but what he hadn’t known was that a parachute had always been attached behind him.

 

Jongin had always been attached there.

 

“Y-you’re not lying right, Jongin? Because this really isn’t a joke...”

 

Jongin’s eyes seem to plead with him, tugging him into them.

 

“I’m not lying, I promise. Yesterday and this morning… That was-- That was a mistake.”

 

Kyungsoo couldn’t stop the terrible sobbing noises from leaving his throat.

When Jongin finally takes his hands, he feels a great deal lighter.

 

He feels the soft creases and the long fingers of Kim Jongin’s hand, and he realizes this is the first time he’s ever held someone’s hand.

 

Kyungsoo finds himself quietly leading the way, taking them away and finding the place he truly loved most.

 

It is also the first time he’s ever shown somebody else where he runs away from the world.

 

Do Kyungsoo wonders if all of this is from his imagination.

 

Jongin and him sitting on the fire escape together, Jongin’s soothing voice, with tints of embarrassment, telling him stories about what he wanted to do in the future with Kyungsoo.

 

Kyungsoo is leaning on Jongin, his legs swinging as they always did between the bars.

 

Jongin has his legs crossed, and his hand presses reassuring patterns on Kyungsoo’s back.

 

Kyungsoo honestly thinks that it can’t get any better.

 

He loves this so much. So much, that’s he’s absolutely terrified.

 

Soon, his eyelids are dropping no matter how ferociously he fights them.

 

Jongin’s voice and small laughs are somewhere in the distance, like the sky.

 

But Kyungsoo is content.

 

For now, he knows everything will be fine. For now.

 

Kyungsoo wakes up to cold fingers and warm hearts.

 

This jolts him awake enough to feel the shiver of sheer panic, and he scurries to his feet, wondering if it really was all a dream.

 

He looks around frantically, and out of the corner of his eye, a bright blue waves from his window like a flag.

 

It’s a post-it.

 

He stares at it curiously, and reads the note.

 

“Sorry, Kyungie. I’ll be back really quick. I promise. So don’t forget me while I’m gone ;) -Jongin.”  

 

Relief crawls back into him, and the moment of doubt disappears.

 

He opens the window and goes back inside, holding the blue note.

 

All of a sudden, an unfamiliar phone rings, and Kyungsoo feels apprehension mixed with uneasiness.

 

All of this was...foreign and alien to him.

 

He stands there, not knowing what to do with himself and the ringing phone that Jongin accidentally left behind.

 

He peeks at the screen.

 

It reads, “Jihyun.”

 

Before he could stop himself from doing what he wasn’t supposed to, he was picking up the phone and sliding his finger across the screen.

 

“Jongin oppa! Where are you?”

 

“Hello...?” Kyungsoo voice trails off, and he bites his lip.

 

“... Who is this?”

 

The resounding voice is sharp and demanding, and Kyungsoo nearly drops the phone from fright.

 

“Jongin’s f-friend…”

 

“Where is Jongin, then?”

 

“...uhh I d-don’t really know.”

 

There is a lengthy pause.

 

“... And where are you?”

 

“At home--”

 

“Jongin went home with you? Right after he left me?!”

 

Kyungsoo flinches.

 

“I don’t know w-what you’re talking about,”

 

“... What’s your name?”

 

He doesn’t know what he should say, but he ends up blurting it out anyways.

 

“Do Kyungsoo.”

 

“Kyungsoo? Your name is Kyungsoo?”

 

But, the voice is not asking a question.

 

It’s a statement.

 

When Kyungsoo doesn’t respond, the woman on the other side sighs and ends the call.

 

But he doesn’t forget,

 

because it’s a statement that leaves Kyungsoo feeling a horrible aftertaste of worry and confusion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

---

Hopefully you guys won't hate Jongin for being a two-timer lol.

Tell me how it was!

Comments are love :)

 

And I love you all.
Thank you so very much.