I was afraid of flying on this plane called love that carries us.

I already know it will fall soon. 

Soojung views love in a way that many others fail to ever be able to comprehend. Love is something that is sacred and special but that one thing she treasures so much is constantly being thrown around like a rag doll that no one wants but plays with it for the sake of claiming possession over it which is twisted. Sick even. Why change something that is so beautiful and wreck it in a such a way that is beyond repair and recognition. She wonders if anyone even cares about love these days since we are all so cooped up in that little corner we own and have no space to fill with others. 

I love you. 1.4.3.  8 simple letters in total is what passes through Jongin's lips that breezy spring afternoon. Soojung flinches, not because of what he said but how he said it, as if it didn't matter at all and was not important. How dare he say something like this so carelessly not knowing how it will affect her.That is all that takes for soojung to snap and yell savagely at jongin.

"Don't say things you do not mean jongin. Promises are never kept."

"I love you." he says it as though he is trying to push his luck, see how far he can go before she snaps at him again. Testing the waters is what they say and testing the waters he sure was. 

"How dare you jongin? Of all people i thought you were different and were not like one of those simple fools out there, letting the precious words of love to slip pass their lips without actually feeling it."

"Soojung why do you always push people away? it's like you build this whole brick wall around yourself and every time i think i am one brick closer to your heart, you just add two more bricks to that wall around you again."

"Don't Jongin, please don't even go there. i rather you stay and never uttered those words than say them so casually and leave the next second. Jongin, I'm tired and done with those. please."

"You know something jung soojung," he pauses, that smirk twisting on his face, " you are afraid. Afraid that someone actually cares about you, afraid that someone may leave you, afraid of love." hands fly across that handsome face and it is too late before soojung realises what she had just done. 

"Jongin, wait- wait i'm so sorry i didn't mean-"

"Want me to tell you something? i'm sick and tired of all these, trying to pick up those broken pieces of yours and piece it back together only to have my hands cut in the process. It's ok if you want to hurt others but how hard is it to just try to love yourself?" Disappointment instead of the fury she expected to see was written all over his face. With a pang, Soojung realises that Jongin was not angry at her but rather disappointed with her. The childish, stupid her that tried to push everyone away by surrounding herself with thorns. Thorns that pierced through the hearts of anyone that came near enough and Jongin had emerged bloody from that battle, his wounds but now he has stopped. She fears that he has given up on her. 

"Jongin, please i'm sorry i didn't mean it, just hear me out-" She melts into a puddle of goo (as usual) before Jongin. God knows she should learn how to better control her tear ducts, he just has that power to make her cry and no wonder Jongin is getting irritated at her. Who wouldn't when you have a friend that is currently being a hormonal that runs the risk of crying every other day. He lets out a big sigh before he pulls her against his chest, smoothing down her brown curls. 

"Soojung, trust me will you? Take a bet and place your stakes,"

"Jongin, /hick/ it's just that everyone who ever said that walks out on me and stamps on me after saying it. my parents, siblings, heck even jinri said she actually cared and loved me." by now the tears were gradually drying up. she takes one deep breath and continues, "i just don't want that to happen again, not with you Jongin, you mean to much to me and if i could choose between you uttering those words to me before taking off the next second, and the choice of you staying without letting those words out. I would always choose the latter because at least this way i would not have to see the same scene replayed before me again."

"Soojung, i think it's about time that you realise no matter what happens some people will stay and when i say i love you, i really do. from deep down here." and he points down to the left side of his chest. 

"Will you give me a chance, give us a chance to do this together?" Us? What us? Silly girl over thinking again it's obviously the friendship he is talking about here and now she goes on thinking Kim Jongin might actually want to date her. Plain old Soojung. 

"Jung Soojung, i love you to the moon and back, zero displacement and it took this brick head of mine to finally realise it but will you go out with me?" the look he is giving her right now makes it close to impossible to say no, even if she knows its best to do so. Because Jung Soojung is a land mine that blasts everyone and everything around her apart no matter what and she really can't stand hurting jongin anymore. But then there's always the heart, the stupid heart that causes irrational decisions to be made. Which is why soojung finds herself slowly nodding her head, no matter how uncertain she was. 

He crushes her into a hug. I'll break you kim jongin, i'll destroy you and you won't be able to fix it, why do you want me so much? Why? It is as though jongin hears her thoughts loud and clear because the next sentence he speaks is " Because darling, you are Jung Soojung the prettiest girl ever in the playground that shone like a star and I love you for it". 

It's funny how one person could turn her insides so funny and Soojung thinks that just maybe, they may work out after all.

As one heart slowly begins to heal, another breaks, one that belongs to a certain Oh Sehun that was standing afar and he doesn't even know that it hurts until he feels that hollow feeling that had been building up over the years taking over and swallowing it whole. He lets it continue because its just another heartbreak anyway and Soojung was a beautiful flower that was meant to bloom freely in the wild and not something that should be plucked and stuffed into his pocket like a mere possession. 

Jongin hyung would treat her right he was sure. Though if one day she were to fall, he would be there, ready to catch her. 

Hi guys I'm finally back! I thought that since it's been a week since I updated I shouldn't keep you guys waiting any longer so I just typed this out and the paragraphing is all a little screwed and the writing is horrid as usual so I'm gonna apologise for that. School has been busy so updates are not gonna be regular maybe once in 2 weeks abt there? so yeah hang in there guys! Random but airplane is my ultimate favourite f(x) song.

-Captured