Soojung has always been scared of crying girls, actually just tears in general. In fact, it's more of disdain at the fact that one could actually be weak enough to cry. Tears were a sign of weakness that should never be revealed to others and those should be shed in private. That is until today happened and it is probably one of the longest days she has ever experienced.

It first began with the interruption of her geography class where all students had to gather to listen to an emergency announcement. Probably just another one of those usual speeches she thinks as she fidgets in her seat and impatiently waits for the grand announcement. That is, until she sees the grave looks on the principal's face and she thinks this might just not be one of those typical announcements. 

"This may come as a shock to some of you that knew him personally but I regret to inform you that during the physical education class this morning one of our students..." why is she speaking in past tense? It's not like he is gone or something, wait this is not right, she thinks to herself something is amiss. No it can't be. She dreads hearing the next sentence. Somewhere along the lines she hears something about feeling breathless and hospital, but what hits her the most was "-and he passed away". 

There is a chiming of "huhs" and the sudden eerie hush.

How could this be? Soojung thinks that she must have heard wrongly. A boy that is only 13 years old, wait no he's not even 13 yet and just gone like that. Too think that she was being so harsh this morning and saying biting words without care.

"Soo, the grandma living on level 3 passed away late last night."

"Mmm really, oh well she was old anyway. There is a time and place for everyone to leave. I mean everyone dies someday right?"

"I guess so but still."

"Ok jongin i got it."

She thinks that maybe words do come true after all and maybe this is what lead to him being gone. Karma really bites you back in the for thoughtless actions she reckons and she bites her lip thinking how on earth such thoughtless words could have passed through her lips. No wonder she has no friends and only jongin puts up with her. 

bBut he was so young and full of life. How could one perfectly healthy boy turn into a dead corpse within the span of a few hours? There was so much in store for him in this world. He could have been a doctor, a lawyer, a successful business man or something but no, those were snatched away from him and his parents. She thinks that god must really be unfair to be able to be so harsh to one innocent child. Why not someone else? Why him?

Her vision begins fogging up. 

"Jung, you ok?" Jongin's hand pats her shuddering shoulders. All the more the pain and guilt she felt for that one person she never knew begins to eat into her conscience and she turns to hug jongin. 

"Jongin how could they? He was- was too young for this-wh-why him?" Once again she takes shelter in the arms of jongin. If only she could take back those words. Turn back the time and made it better, or even tried to know this boy before he was gone. If only she could see this soojung would never have let those words pass through her lips. She promises that she would be a better person, anything to bring back that poor boy. to think that she considered taking her life when to others, living was something just to fragile and that could be taken away from them at any second. She comes to the conclusion that life in fact is a privilege and not a given and privileges could be taken away without warning. Just like Jongin could be taken away any second.

The sobbing around her is more evident now. She figures that people are probably embracing each other. The tears that she once hated to show are something that she realizes is important. Tears she figures are not a symbol of weakness but bravery. Courage to show how you truly feel instead of hiding behind a mask and brave are those who admit their flaws. At least she figured something out today. Unpredictable things really happen at the most unexpected timings and life is one hell of a rocky roller coaster.

Sadly some things are not comprehensible by reason but she wishes that somehow it was.