Sehun wonders what love truly is. Sometimes he thinks that maybe it is the feeling of falling for someone so hard that you crash down willingly even though you know how steep the drop is. Other times he thinks that maybe it is just silently caring for someone even though that person does not realize, but what he can definitely conclude is that being in love is a pretty messy emotion that can lead to confusion or leaves the person feeling sore. He dabbles on that before deciding to poke his hyung that is now trying really hard to remain on the edge of the sidewalk and spreading his hands out in an attempt to achieve stability which is obviously not working out.

Kind-hearted Sehun decides to soften the blow by just shoving him off the pavement altogether resulting in a "what the hell was that for?" from the enraged hyung. 

"Anything to help hyung." and Sehun shrugs his shoulders, inwardly chuckling at how silly Jongin is. Come to think of it, Jongin is pretty stupid and the whole world says a good amen to that statement. Ok granted, Jongin has his unusually wise moments when he suddenly gets all serious and grandpa like which is why Sehun, against his better judgment decides to ask him what love truly is.

That takes Jongin by surprise before he goes on smoothly as ever, " Oh baby boy, why the serious question? Love, ah that feeling is when your heart stops upon seeing that one person and you would go through stupid things just to see her smile or to gain an acknowledgement," a certain girl with auburn short hair passes through his mind for second before he breaks that train of thought and smiles at sehun. 

"Buddy, you will get it one day when that person comes by and all this worry will be for naught because it will hit you like a tennis ball on your head." ruffling up Sehun's fringe. usually Sehun would have ducked by now but seeing how Jongin seemed to be in a good mood he decided to let him do so just this once. 

Are those feelings that he harbors about Soojung truly love? Or is it a mere infatuation? To put the cherry on top of this whole terrifying situation Jongin hyung and Soojung are dating. One simply does not harbor such thoughts about your best friend's girlfriend right? Bros before hoes that saying went and Sehun has to clear this up before he ruins everything. Jongin hyung had always been so happy but Soojung was never this happy until he came back and by loving someone meant that you would give anything up to see that person smile right?

Sehun thinks that if being with Jongin makes Soojung happy then he would gladly scrape her out from the walls of his heart even if it bled. This little crush has gone on for far too long. 8 years of pining after Soojung even though she hated his guts. He swears its not his fault that he always makes such a mess of himself in front of her it's just when she appears, all coherent thoughts are wiped away completely. 

20 April 2006

"Soojung! Jung Soojung! PIG!" it takes 3 different times before Soojung whips her two pigtails around and turns to glare at Sehun.

"What do you want?" he withers slightly before mustering up his courage and says out loud "Pencil, i want to borrow a pencil."

His brave words are rewarded by another glare that could burn up the the entire classroom to ashes. "Oh sehun just leave Soojung alone will you? Stop bothering her." As always, Jinri steps in with her big nose no matter what situation it is which frankly is annoying. He really didn't mean to come off that way and the worst thing was that his last chance redeem himself was gone when he pressed down too hard on that dreaded math paper, breaking the tip of Soojung's pencil.

Now she is going to hate me even more. 

He had wanted to redeem himself by tapping lightly on her chair but instead he had once again irritated her, with her broken pencil. Soojung only needs to cast one look at her broken pencil for her eyes to be glassy which Sehun clearly does not understand. It was just a pencil right? He did not commit that big of a sin did he? But Soojung raises her hand and excuses herself to the restroom before he can utter another stupid word. 

"Great Oh Sehun, you've done it again! Why do you always insist on being such a pain towards Soojung? She has done nothing wrong and for your information, that was a new pencil soojung lent you because she was too kind to lend the shorter one out. And that pencil was supposed to last her for a month." Jinri leaves the class to accompany Soojung and what she said was true. a single pencil was left on her desk and it could no longer be even considered a pencil, it was just a stump with a blunt lead. 

He had just made himself a bigger jerk. Sehun saw Soojung cry for the first time that day and he swore that he would never be the reason that she cries again. she was far too lovely to be treated that way. 

He gets jolted out of his moment by the sharp elbow of Jongin's and an unpleasant scowl makes its way onto his face. "is our little merman drifting away again? Are you perhaps... in love?" the eyebrows are raised and he rounds sehun into a corner of the street towering over him. 

"Go away hyung, don't be annoying and speak for yourself you are going all googly eyed at Soojung like a lump so mind your own business first." he scrapes away all thoughts of the long-haired, fair skin lady for at least in front of jongin, he had to burn away those thoughts.

"Don't worry, hyung won't tell anyone and since you are being so mysterious, I'll leave you alone but no matter what relationship you are in, i'll support you, even if it's a guy," winking and blowing a kiss. 

"Eww hyung NO NO NO!" deep down Sehun is thankful that Jongin is there for him and that no matter what 8 long years of brotherhood is not worth losing. Jung Soojung is jongin's and will never be his, not today, not tomorrow, not ever.

She is a precious stone that is not his to keep. He is standing on a balancing beam and is this close to tripping which is why he needs to maintain that center of gravity that prevents the fall called love, or infatuation.