Soojung feels that she is treading on a handful of eggshells. No, in fact she is stomping, not even treading on them. The cracks are there but they are still held together by that fine white membrane.

She wonders how much longer they are going to be held together. One day? Two days? A month? Or if she’s lucky, perhaps a year? But she knows that it is just a matter of time before they can’t take her weight anymore.

Weight, hmmm speaking of weight she thinks that she has grown fatter. It must be the waist that is the problem. Yes, definitely the waist. She reckons that she has her 23 inch waist has been replaced with a car tyre. Or maybe the problem lies with her thighs. Now that she looks at it in the mirror they seem like elephant stumps. Chubby, fat, ugly they screamed.

It makes sense why no one likes her, she had always been so ugly and everyone knew that fact except her. Just her and her delusions , so much for thinking that she looked fine.  How nice would it be if she could take a chunk of those stuff out.

Perfection was something that she was chasing and it hurts to know that at the same time she would never ever be fit enough to achieve that. Why does she chase it? Is it because of how humans are all creatures that all secretly chase perfection and the need to be flawless?

Or was it that greed was the main issue her and not perfection that they were chasing. But don't they both came hand in hand? Or maybe not. She was confused, the fantasies in her mind and reality itself often merged blurring the line drawing the difference. It was like how black mixed with white, one contaminating the other and now she couldn’t even tell them apart at times.

Occasionally she lies with her eyes wide open in the dark, wondering why she deserved this fate. Wasn’t God a fair one where everyone was made with equal talents, just in different fields? It took her a long time to finally realize that equality and justice were different things altogether. Equality was were everyone stood on the same platform regardless of the inborn talents, justice was boosting the weaker ones and dulling out the stronger beings, that was justice.

But that simply was not the way the world works, the perceive equality as justice and mixed the black with the white creating the eyesore known as grey.

She used to love the colour grey for the very fact that it matched with everything and seemed to be beautiful no matter what. However, it was the very strength that the colour grey possessed that became its weakness as well. Having no opponents meant having no allies as well which meant that being grey meant that you did not belong anywhere for the fear of being the outcast

Soojung was pretty sure she was a white since whites usually were the neglected ones since they were always viewed as having the potential to be easily dirtied and simply were burdens since one never knows when white would turn yellow.  Whites were bad investments, they would say. and a bad investment she was.

In another one of those night she lay awake staring at the ceiling she thinks that she can see the end coming. The “falling action” people like to coin it and the sounds of the eggshells cracking are even more audible tonight. Yes, she thinks, the end is near and she can finally see the end to the tunnel coming.

She will embrace it no matter what whether it kills her in the process or not, she no longer cares.

So here's my first author note and I really just want to thank all of you for even bothering to read this crap story and lazy me never bothers to check my work after it's done //guilty// so yes you guys are important to me oh and feel free to shoot me anything that's to be improved :-)

-Captured