“no..... chaerin...... she’s gone”

Bom and seunghyun is on their way to faint just because a single tears on their lovely friend’s cheek ,

“oh no, no please not this time”  seunghyun said in terror and then hug his friend in front of him

                                                                                           ***

“don’t talk to me again, aigoo you’re so talkactive, now close your eyes and think! Think! for this quest!” i’m just about to do the fliptable if he keep asking questions! Seriously!

“do i really need to close my eyes to think?” he ask me innocently , ooh god tell me what did i do wrong , why do i need to be in the same team  with this ewww

“no,not really,mmm i think if you sewing your mouth , that could’ve been so helping us! Yaay!” i said sarcasticly, he back down and gulp his saliva , not even dare to ask another bull to me, not even asking me with a motion, not even sent me one simple look

We decide to wait in the coffe shop , because we’re so clueless what to do, we need to find an event and help them with the foods for free, HA.HA

And this guy in front of me sometimes pop out with his crazy idea, i mean , his crazyness is way too crazy, that’s right, i’m a crazy girl but no... this guy is way tooooooo crazy, it cost distance between earth and jupiter , heol! He is different with jiyong oppa , once his crazy brain pop out with some genius stupid idea it always as good as rihanna’s voice, trust me , he never fails to make me like those stupid idea but this guy’s is ..... okay i wont bad-mouthing people anymore, stop it! Oh snap snap! Why do i need to compare someone with ji.... oh okay just cut it out!

, this guy even suggest me to help a nightclub, or mafia annual event, , like really?!!

“hey what about we—RINGRINGRING ... aunty? Oh faith wait a sec”

Ha! He is on the phone with his aunty , so glad he isn’t around ,

What’s jiyong oppa doing right now ........ hmmm , i took a quick glance to my watch then i realize ..... it should have been a happy time with him watching our favourite tvshow , in the sofa, so warm, but now i ended up with a weirdo, a stranger, what a misserable life i had ,

“hey!!! Guess what?!!!” i jolted up when someone appear in front of my eyes all of a sudden and scream happily, to me.... his scream is like a terror ....... i fear him now, wow.

“what the hell” i cursed

“let’s call it off today because we got what we searched, huh finally” he said siting on his chair , take a sip of his juice

“what is it? Tell me”  i don’t know why but i don’t want to argue with him , not ever again, so i just told him to tell me starightly and if he got the nerve to tell me that we should help a drug-seller gathering event , i would not mind to kill him in public.

 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“hyung, what’s that you read?”

“a man got nuts just because he made mistakes and his girl dump him” is he serious?

“oh no, i know you’re talking about me huh?”

“indeed” okay this hyung of mine just like a pms girl , he get pissed off so easily eventhe pms  bommie is way more kind than him ,or maybe he really hates me now?  

“hyung, be serious”

“okay fine, a charity event in an orphanage they made a really small announcement to those who want to help them with the money , and i think i could help, i could barely do good thing recently , uhmm beside taking care of a pitiful broken guy” he yawning and throw the newspaper away , i know he is talking about someone i know, me.

“when it held?”

“a week later”

“can i join?”

“REALLYY?!!!”

“seriously........ just don’t be too much, yes i want to join, hyung sell that demolished-club i owned and give all the money to the orphan”

“YOU FKN SURE?!” i nodded and that makes hyung hug me, oh well..... i just decide to do a good things and something inside me is feeling so good , i mean ........ i’m happy.

The fact that i’m doing good thing from that full-of-bad-memories-building i demolished, i want to burried those bad memories when chaerin crying, when she ... when she’s gone i want to burried them away

“yeaah good then, i love you jiyongieee” i cringe on that one , that sounds so much creepy

“meh i want to puke” i said touching my tummy

“ah~ you even blushing jiyongie, hahaha oh and , ji.... can i ask you something?”

“i push him in annoyance and just nodded simply

“do you want to make an effort for the better life? I mean....  with all the thing that happens recently, i know that’s so stressing you up , so , i suggest you to meet bom’s friends, she’s nice , trust me , and she could solve your problem”

“yes i want but, i don’t know when, well i want to do it for chaerin, i mean ........ look i’ve try my best to be as normal as i am used to be , no not the old me long before i met chae, i realize that i got A LOT , SO DAMN MUCH BETTER life when i met her, she change my life into a better one ,but when she let go of her grip on mine, i just feels like free fall from tokyo tower, i mean, i felt so lost, and that’s upsetting, i’ve tried, i’ve tried but it never works, hyung, but i really want to be a better person, because i realize .....i..... i can’t if ... if .... if chaerin isn’t around, i might be sounds so stupid and funny, but i think that’s what had happened here, so i really need an effort to move to the brightest side in me, i mean, let’s not just ended up like that stupid idot moron on the drama, instead of killing myself i will just make so much efforts to ....... yeah....... to get my soul back, to get my life back, that’s it”

Seunghyun was silence because he don’t know what to do , jiyong seems so clear, he seems so calm,never before he heards such a clear jiyong spoke like that, this is the first time in his lifetime, seunghyun just feel a bit relief, something stuck on his chest is now no longer there, so he can breath freely ,

“well. Then......... maybe she will be more understand it, you could trust her and tell her everything”

“wait....... did you just set me up on a blind date or something because if you do , i will not forgive you”

“whoaaaaaaaah slow down! No hell no! She is just a psychologist , she could help you go through this i...i...i’m sure”

“now right now i need to find a way to get my chae back, nothing else”

“but you need to recover, i mean, you need to let out your feelings and your thought, i know it is a burden for you and i think she might help, and i think she know the way to win your other hal back, that’s it”

“okay i’ll try, i’ll try”

*the next day

“are you wearing a blue dress? And black hair?”

“yes, that’s me”

“okay then, bye” i hung up on her, and i don’t believe it , today , i will meet her, the psychologist tabi always brag about, he didn’t think that i’m crazy or what , but he sound so worried for me these day, and if meeting this woman with blue dress could make him happy, so be it, i’ve been a burden for him since chaerin leave, and i can’t do that anymore, not with bommie around, i know how much they love each other, just like me and chaerin, and i hope they wouldn’t end up like me and chaerin.

The psychologist give me a soothing smile , makes me comfortable even in the first time i see her, but nothing special on her, i mean ,she doesn’t throw me an apple pie like chaerin did back then when i ruined her works , oh no , here i go again, chaerin.

“hi, i’m yuka” she her hand to me with a smile

“i’m GD” i gave her a short introduction since i don’t like this appointment actually and i hate to meet a psychologist, because i don’t think i had a problem that couldn’t be healed by myself , i don’t need anyone’s help except chae. And look , i said my name is GD not jiyong ,

“so your name is chaerin? Huh?”

.................................................

“don’t you know how to move your mouth and didn’t your parents teach you how to speak?”

“they did and they taught me not to talk with a stranger especially with a troublesome stranger”

“fine, so don’t you curious about my name?”

“no thank you”

“well i can do whatever i want in my own home so--“ “and what’s your name again?”

*smile* “my name is jiyo..emmh my name is. GD.... yeah GD, you can call me GD”

“okay gd, i’m sorry we need to meet up here not in the hospital, let’s just make your schedule now”

She talk softly , i bet she has to do it with a patient, because her words are making me relax, wow.

“listen, i came here just to make my friend happy and i had no intention to meeting a psychologist since i’m not that ‘sick’ and this is the first and the last time we will see each other so don’t expect anything”

Silence, her face turn red and i guess i talk a bit cruel ,do i? Well that’s the truth

“ahahhaa no worries, gd , all the patient do exactly the same way in their first consultation”

She let out a small giggles and he touch my arm , could that be a part of her ritual healing ‘sick’ people? I look at her in awe,  and i frown ,

“you will be more open up to me in your first day in hospital”

“excuse me, please stop saying hospital because i feels sort of an old man who loose his hair and coughing every 2 second, can you?” i still frowning , and pull my arm from her hand

“ah okay” she clears her throath and looks uncomfortable with my words, i guess so because her face is so red and i can see sweats in her temple “let’s just call it my ofice, so you can visit me on Monday, and Friday if you need me in the other day, just text or call me first”

Likei care!!

“but you need to visit me for real,  i know a bit of your problem from bom, and i wish i might help you , so you need to come and let me clear your mind”

I rolled my eyes, i sigh , didn’t i mention it before? This is the first! And the last!

but maybe i need to try doing this, who knows it could help me,

“YUKA?! Oh thank god you’re here” a girl’s voice make the psychologist put her drink again, she even have not sip into it , she look startled by the voice and i follow her gaze toward a girl

“kiko? Why are you crying? Why are you here?”

The sobbing girl pull a chair beside me without even noticing my existance, she wipe her own tears and take the psychologist hand,

“ yuka, john ..... he...... he dump me.... he treat me like ! He said he didn’t love me anymore and we....we broke up, and i caught him kissing with a , i slap him and he mad at me! Don’t you think he is a jerk?! I should be the one who angry!!” i stare at the two with my ‘what the hell’ look , this girl is blurting about everything in front of public, she just won’t stop rambling about her break up with her boyfriend , but she remind me of chaerin , i mean , did chaerin do the same thing? Did she tells her friend when she caught me with some , did she cry like this girl?

“i’m so hurted , i feels like dying , i just want to die”

That girl’s words ringing in my ear, did chaerin ever think that way? Did she ever feels like dying and did she ever tell her friend that she want to die?

I can’t help myself but feel guilty toward this girl in front of me, and i want to hug chaerin right now like right now,

“hey, don’t say that, calm down first , you need to calm down , look at me in the eyes and 123 , breath in, breath out come on follow me , breath in breath out , now look at me again, are you feeling well?”

“yea, thanks” wow, is that real? Or this is just a scenario to make me trust this psychologist? But i don’t see fakeness in this ,

“okay, lets just talk about it in home” yuka said and a reasuring smile is formin in her face ,

The sobbing gilr is now silent , she didn’tcry and sobbing hard anymore , she wipe away her tears and let go of the psychologist hand , i look at yuka with my curious face , but i didn’t intentionaly do that , she smile to me and say

“kiko, i forgot i had a patient here, meet gd, gd meet my older sister , kiko”

So i forced to stand up and bow to her, since we’re both asian and i try being a good boy to win chaerin back.

She was about to greet me and say hi but she stop and her jaw is wide open, she cover with her hand and her eyes is about to jump out of her face

“j...jiyong?!” me? Jiyong?! How could she??

“this is gd not jiyong”

“no no , i can’t be wrong this guy is jiyong! Omg!! How come we never see you again?!”

“w...who are you?”

“i’m--