“Dead men tell no tales,” Dongwoo looked Henry in the eyes, the corners of his mouth jolting in an anguished grin. “How should I know?”

---

Flowers were everywhere, nested at every corner, against the wall. Hues of red, blue, purple hyacinth, orange fell upon droplets of green. Withered and fresh petals met in between, tangled in a never-ending struggle for survival.

He crushed them all under his feet. A shattered vase, glass around his body, Daniel hadn’t seen them when he reached for the fallen boy. The pain stinging in his palms and his knees when he hit the floor didn’t match the one in his heart. If only he had been more careful, maybe he wouldn’t have had a paper cut crest the muscle beating in his chest. It didn’t open right away, hiding until he became aware of its existence, aware of the thin line drawn down his heart, aware of it bleeding and aching. He had never opened his eyes wider than in that moment, blurred right after, lost in the sea of color he had to fish Sungyeol out from before he’d drown.

“YA!” he rolled the boy on his back, yelled in his face, shook him and only after there was no response did he see the rivulet of blood from behind his head matching the red spot at the edge of the coffee table. “WAKE UP!”

Fingers hastened after his phone, pressing random buttons, not seeing it had long closed. He threw it away. He searched for another phone. Help shouldn’t be hard to reach, help was extremely easy to find those days.

For some reason, he couldn’t find Sungyeol’s phone and there was no home phone.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he apologized, shakily rising back on his feet. Back in the open hallway, Daniel used the walls to continue moving, banging at every door in his way. He kicked, he punched, he screamed and whenever somebody answered him, they slammed the door. His back hit the metal railing, hands grasping at it before he’d plunge in the darkness.

He had to get help. Someone, somewhere, had to help him. He only needed a phone, just that.

People continued walking. They continued with their lives in which none could interfere.

Nobody cared.

Nobody ever cares.

If there is evil in the world, there could be no good. One asking for help might as well try to frame them. Their vicious smiles, only hands pushing him away, only mouths used for cursing. Daniel took upon himself to go against the current, yet, forgot he wasn’t a carp turning into a splendid dragon.

He was only human, a human surrounded by monsters.

“Please,” he begged the demons, “please help me.”

They sneered. White teeth, white eyes, scribbled on deformed black forms.

“Please,” fingers curled over the stranger’s clothes, wishing he wasn’t one of them, wishing there was at least one angel shining brightly from between layers of dirt “please help me, please.”

Hands unclutched, Daniel stared at him, hyperventilating. His lungs condensed in sorrow, making it impossible to draw more air.

“Woah,” he leaned over the stranger, shifty eyes, too hard to breathe, “are you okay? What’s wrong?”

Too hard to breathe… too hard.

---

The hero had a name.

Donghae stayed with him for hours to come, the night streaming towards whirlwinds of tears. He asked many questions to sooth Daniel, only for the boy to bury his face in his hands once more. He tried to answer them all, tried to keep his tone as flat as possible, no high pitch of desperation in his voice or whispers covered by roaring sirens.

“Are you sure I shouldn’t call your parents?”

No matter how hard Daniel wanted them there, a familiar shoulder to cry on, a warm embrace in the cold night, soaked from everything that happened, he didn’t want to worry them.

When he first came into the new home, a woman greeted him with wide arms and a gentle smile. Daniel run behind the social worker’s legs, wanting to see nobody and nothing at that point. It would take some more weeks before he finally gained some trust in both the gentle looking mother and the soft-spoken father. They were a rather odd couple, at least, when compared to that of his new schoolmates. The father was the quiet one in the family, the one who silently judged them all and made keen observations when he felt they needed them. The mother on the other hand was rather lively, laughing all day long and sometimes raising her voice out of worry. She was the one that showed Daniel there was more out there than his jet-black beginnings. The day they both grabbed his hands and went shopping together, getting a panda plush toy and a panda hat, Daniel never felt happier.

Small details like that are what he learned to enjoy. The way his mother added fruits to his school lunches on how she cheered him up during exams proved to be invaluable. The way his father always patted his head when he hit rock bottom or when he took a seat near him to look over his textbooks, commenting them together, made Daniel appreciate him taking some time to see what’s actually wrong.

Donghae keeping him busy with those questions might have been the remedy he needed right then and the reason he didn’t want to call his parents. He already knew what they would do and it hurt him to see them scared, hurt to see his courageous mother share his tears and his father booming with anger.

After all, he promised to return their affection one day. He promised to be a better son, a better human or at least, no longer bother them.

It just happened to start at that hospital, with that stranger and a bracelet trapped between his thumb and index, forever brushing his fingertips over its rough surface.

---

“Hi…,” the boy dropped near his gloomy friend, regretting after he hit the stairs too hard “…what are you doing outside?” Not able to hide his wincing face made Dongwoo crack a smile. They preyed on each other’s suffering.

“Thinking,” he returned to the photo album in his arms, flipping another thick page “what’s with you?”

“Man, it’s cold,” Daniel frowned, leaning onto the other and peeking at his album “why are you staring at our faces?”

“Because yours is extra funny,” the blond acknowledged the insult and smacked his friend over the head.

“Touché moron,” stealing the photo album, they both argued over each other’s best expressions until, ultimately, they ended up sharing memories of a high school which has yet to end. Not long after abandoning the album, they stared at the sun bathing with the crimson-hued clouds. Despite the melting snow outside, freezing their asses and turning their cheeks and noses rose, each breathed in as much air and spoke at the same time.

“We might be brothers.”

“Sungyeol died.”

“What?!”

Daniel smiled. He was calmer than he looked, eyes strained from crying, eyes strained from sleepless nights. “Brothers? How so?”

“What are saying?! Sungyeol died?!”

It’s weird how shocking news erase the cold, all traces left behind by unfortunate events and confessions, all scars not yet healed and probably never to heal. Then again, all of them could return at the same time and break somebody beyond repair.

Human parts are expensive to mend, more when the error is not visible even with the most sophisticated technology or through complicated chemical equations.

No scientist was able to tell Daniel why Sungyeol had to die and why he earned a brother in exchange.

Does destiny really believe it was a fair trade?

---

“You fell asleep and reacted at the last moment? That’s why you twisted your ankle?”

It sounded ridiculous out of Jaerim’s mouth. Then again, what else could he tell him?

Daniel mused if it was more plausible if somebody pushed him. He could also become a comedian and say that he and his brother, Dongwoo, danced in girl outfits to various cutesy choreographies and he fell off his high heels.

The blond shook his head, shuddering from the idea.

That would never happen.

He had been taking vitamins and other medicine for months. Ever since Sungyeol passed away, Daniel had not had a single day without either wanting to jump off a building or permanently locking himself in his room, trying to finish his book. Every time he hit the page where he last stopped, he could not continue reading. Mostly because it reminded him that Sungyeol was no more and because he lived through that book even if his body turned to ashes. Finishing the book meant saying goodbye forever.

Taking a knife in the bathroom wasn’t a good idea. Luckily, Dongwoo just happened to stay over the weekend until the whole thing between him and his adoptive mother got settled down. Luckily, Daniel just happened to let the door unlocked and to give up in the last minute, thinking what in the world he was about to do. Luckily, there was nobody else at home, just the two of them in the bathroom, both fully clothed.

Had he completely lost his mind? Had he really forgotten about his parents, his brother, all of his other friends and new colleagues? Had he forgotten about Donghae telling him to live on?

He didn’t consider many things in a second of weakness. Seeing his brother bawling and begging him not to do anything stupid, begging him to take him as his shield and sword, let him fight his demons and let him be the one he could go to whenever things were too heavy to carry, it crushed him once more.

“Yes,” the blond answered absentmindedly while the young man fixed the bandages over his foot.

“It’s probably fatigue, but just in case, we’ll do some tests, alright?”

“Could we do them another time?”

Jaerim was disappointed.

“Are you sure? I could get in trouble, you know.”

Daniel nodded, pulling the newly acquired pair of crutches closer.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll sign whatever to take responsibility. I’m just tired…,” he on his lips, chuckling afterwards “…tired of everything.”

“By the way, have you heard about Donghae?”

---

Henry put his and Daniel’s coats away. Their shoes aligned at the entrance. Since they both ate fairly well, none was in the mood for a snack. Henry instead took Daniel’s hand and pulled him back to him before he left to change clothes, back to his chest, back to kiss him.

He learned during their walk about what he had done. Henry forced someone into loving him while Daniel still had another person in his heart. There were too many questions unanswered, too many speculations Henry successfully created in the course of an hour and he couldn’t possibly not feel something tugging at his heart, ripping it apart and shredding every patch he sewed with Daniel to keep it from falling.

At the same time, he didn’t want to let go. Even if he didn’t complete Daniel, the other perfectly fit in his life.

“Now you know,” Daniel whispered over his lips, their bodies mechanically rushing to any available surface, sharing more kisses between each gulp of air. “You know everything.”

“I read the book,” Henry’s fingers trailed lines over Daniel’s face before pushing ahead for another kiss “Don’t finish it. It’s awful. The last page is missing too, so there’s no point in reading it.”

“Why is it awful?”

Henry felt jealous. Henry felt guilty. Most of all, Henry was afraid. He hadn’t felt that fear in a while, the fear of abandonment. Last time it took him by surprise, Henry ended up with Daniel and the two roommates turned lovers overnight.

“It’s trying to take you away from me.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

There was one more question on the tip of his tongue.

Instead, he buried his face at Daniel’s chest and stood there, lucky to have the other alive, lucky to see he was finally breathing again. His lover had long been suffocating under the pressure of wild waters he tried to tame and failed. It was all by his own strength in the end, for Daniel wanted to change foremost for himself rather than because of somebody else. He loved his parents, loved his brother and friends. He loved Henry. Yet, he couldn’t change because of them.

“Thank you.”

No one can change in a blink of an eye because of somebody else. It takes immense will for a human to realize that he has the required strength inside of him. The people around were only reminders – reminder there’s more out there, reminder nobody’s alone. It just takes a while for them to see that, blinded by their own existence.

“You know…,” Daniel quietly thanked Henry in his mind for being there for him “I hate flowers. I hate flowers so much.”

He could finally take that strength and as Sungyeol put it, ‘shove himself in there’, for he wasn’t about to let the world step on him.

Daniel had all the reasons not to give up.

5 chapters to go! /so close, so close DX

Anyway, Cas agreed to help me edit this thing from the beginning T^T I hope that I won't end up deleting too many scenes orz And if you haven't listened to Infinite's Back yet, GO NOW ;A; /obsessed /AND DONGWOO SINGS GUUUUUUUYS /slap

I'm just gonna leave this here. Thank you for reading~