He had seen that house many times. They used to talk a lot in front of its small gate. It didn’t matter that they had helium light topics most people wouldn’t put in discussion.

They had fun.

That extra minute was more valuable than gold. After all, time is a consumable item one cannot trade or gain more throughout their life. Once Henry decided it was best to waste it with Jinyoung, he could break all the clocks in the world and it wouldn’t make a difference. Those moments had existed at one point and they would continue to exist.

Flowers along metal bars had long withered with the weather. Frozen stems broke at his touch. His heart fluttered as he remembered that one evening when Jinyoung accidently scratched his arm and joked it wasn’t a big deal. Henry panicked and wouldn’t leave until Jinyoung promised to take care of it as soon as he went inside. Henry jumped when the gate slammed open. He looked at the drunken man fumble with his pack of cigarettes, with rugged clothes and injured knuckles. He gave the blond one look before he shoved past him and walked away. Out of the house came Jinyoung with a broken lip and a cut across his left cheek.

He stopped at the gate when he saw Henry, panting with fury.

“He broke my guitar...” Jinyoung gasped, clutched to the gate. Collapsing on the cold concrete, his head leaned against the metal bars, unable to keep his legs straight. Henry kneeled near him. “He ing destroyed it...”

“I’ll get you a new one.” The blond assured the other as his hands tried to take a hold of Jinyoung. Instead, Henry fell on the snow when Jinyoung angrily pushed him away.

“I don’t want another! I want my ing guitar!”

Jinyoung covered his bruised face.

He didn’t want Henry to pity him. He didn’t need his compassion or his touches. He wanted to be spared the details because the last thing he needed right then and there was for Henry to scold him. He sought comfort, yet couldn’t ask for it. Jinyoung never cried for help and never told anybody of what went by back home. The visible wounds shall heal one day and those which scarred his organs with their presence are only his to keep. Nobody else can see or touch them. So, Jinyoung thought it was for the best. Why expose something impossible to expose? Most of all, he didn’t want Henry to see him cry. Last time he had done that, it ruined their relationship for good. What worth could someone that spoiled the party have in the eye of the host?

Henry on the other hand disliked parties of any nature.

He disliked those that considered crying a weakness. He disliked whenever Jinyoung would mock him and try to hide his true feelings from him. Henry hated the fact that Jinyoung, once more, went ahead and risked his life in order to save another without asking for help. He hated that kid for being such an idiot and for always thinking he’s a loner. As long as Henry’s around in his life, he wanted to assure Jinyoung he wasn’t the only one under the sky. Their romantic poem had been forever strained with unnecessary adjectives or sceneries one cannot indulge.

That didn’t matter.

For when Henry decided to part Jinyoung’s hands and force his throbbing orbs to meet his, he only did it for one reason: he cared from the bottom of his heart.

“It’s just a guitar,” Henry dimpled “we’ll get you a new one.”

“But it’s the guitar you gave me,” Jinyoung lamented with drops freely pouring down his cheeks. “I promised to take care of it.”

“Who cares?!” Henry let go of his hands and watched Jinyoung squirm from that single higher tone. Henry lowered his voice and spoke in a tranquil manner “...are you hurt anywhere, other than your face? What about your mother?”

“I’m...” he gulped and wiped the tears with the back of his palm “...fine. She’s inside, she’s good too... I...” his eyes traversed to his surroundings. He was scared of the darkness, scared of the dim lights, scared of everything that happened “...I took all the punches this time, I took them all.”

Henry didn’t need more. He embraced Jinyoung to his chest and firmly held him there.

What he regretted more was that he didn’t check often on Jinyoung. As angry and disappointed as he was with his past acts, the part Henry fell in love with was still there. Jinyoung wasn’t complete without his stupid heroic interventions which drove Henry mad... mostly because he wasn’t capable of doing that. He rarely sacrificed the things he loved. He was the fool who didn’t see Jinyoung lusted after another. He played hard and got him, only to pay the price later. Henry also went against his parents’ wishes and continued with music. He went against the world to live the way he wanted.

Only then, under an angel’s white ashes blown from coal clouds, could Henry see clearly what he had done.

He guided Daniel in his life with the exact same reason – he didn’t want to sacrifice a single thing. Henry wanted it all. He hadn’t thought back then that Daniel might have had another in his mind, might have desired something else, might have never decided to be by Henry’s side if the blond hadn’t forced him in that kiss.

He gasped and kept Jinyoung in his arms.

Glacial wind, red nose and cold tears, Henry deserved them all.

For he had never let Daniel once smile sincerely.

“I... have to go.”

Jinyoung grabbed his shoulder with the aid of hiccups and short breaths.

“Please...” cracked voice smeared with a dry throat “...stay... please...” Jinyoung finally admitted he could no longer lie to Henry “...I need... I need you, please...” his fingers dug at Henry’s sweater “...as a friend, please.”

Henry decided he couldn’t say no.

He had to start making sacrifices too.

---

After they cleaned the house, cleaned Jinyoung's wounds, after helping his mother stop sobbing and then sleep, after a few laughs to cheer the tensed atmosphere, Henry finally left.

He rushed and almost slipped on thin ice. His heart battled against his chest as he dashed through the night. There was enough relief in order for Henry to feel less guilty about his decisions. Jinyoung was better. His mother thanked him. They were both going to be fresh in the morning after a long sleep. At least, Henry hoped they’d get some. That bastard could return any time and bring fear along. The same fear Henry felt with each step closer to the garage.

If his chest could rip apart and throw his heart away, he’d still want to go there. Every cell residing in his body wished to coexist with Daniel. He wanted to make sure the other knew that. He wanted to spill it all out.

He wanted to love him for as long as he could. Without masks, without theaters and without fireworks – he wanted the real Daniel, the one Henry was too blind to see.

The keys wouldn’t go inside.

The keys wouldn’t ing go inside.

Henry was so desperate to see the other, his hand trembled violently. The silver bracelet hadn’t left his wrist, glinting from the automatic light installed above the door. Finally, he plunged that object inside, twisted it and felt a wave of heat crush him. The sudden change of temperate slowed him down, enough to take off his shoes and lock the door back. He had done all out of habit because he couldn’t focus enough on those trivial things.

And there he was.

Henry had to kiss him. Henry had to tell him everything.

Henry had to feel him.

And Daniel smiled. He just smiled.

Henry loathed the way he smiled at him.

“Another cheesy line?” then the blond saw how his new hair framed nicely his features. For a second, he thought Daniel was the most handsome man he had ever met. He couldn’t see what could be wrong with his lover.

“I love you.”

“Henry...”

“I... really... love you... so much.”

“Don’t...”

Henry caressed his cheeks, his thumb crossing above his plump lips.

“I’m acting this way because of that, because...” he shook his head “no, no more words.”

He kissed him. Daniel didn’t react right away.

“...what happened?”

“I’m leaving tomorrow,” Henry pecked his forehead “for one week, I’m leaving, please wait for me, please.”

“I always had.” Daniel smiled.

Henry’s thumb pressed hard over his cheek.

“Stop doing that!” he cried desperately “Stop smiling when you don’t really mean it! Stop being happy for me! Stop and for once tell me I’m a ing loser that doesn’t deserve you. For once, say all of that. Say it!”

Daniel had to smile again. He wanted to grin and grin until everybody would feel at ease around him.

Truth was he didn’t desire that. He didn’t want to smile. He didn’t want to lift the corners of his mouth anymore.

Yet, he still did it.

He smiled once he leaned forward with eyes shut tight and their lips locked. He smiled to have heard that from Henry. He smiled to know that there was somebody out there who could pick up the petals of a torn flower and still consider them beautiful.

He smiled.

He wanted Henry to keep on collecting him from the ground.

MY PHONE IS A TROLL WHEN ON SHUFFLE. WHY WOULD IT PLAY FLOWER EXACTLY THE MOMENT I WROTE THAT LAST SCENE??? AND THEN WENT AHEAD WITH THE VIOLIN + PIANO VERSION OF TRAP. I ALMOST SCREAMED AT 3 FREAKING AM. WHY SHUFFLE, WHY? 492 SONGS AND YOU HAD NONE OTHER TO CHOOSE FROM? (...I wish I was kidding)

...on another note, I hate the Statistics button. /lol, more author notes? Tsk/ Quick update. The next one might take a while, so vote away.