Entry 8

February 22, 2012

I am going to kill Kim Jongdae. And Kris.

“Sorry Kyung! I promised Jongin I would accompany him to search for condos, but I have a hot date that needs me. He should be at your place by noon.” The voicemail ended.

I slammed my phone onto the table counter, which earned me a slap from Minseok.

“Is Kyungsoo still pissed at me for not buying Cocoa puffs?” Kris asked from the couch.  That slam was not for Kris.

I slammed my phone again. This time for Kris.

“Kris, yes. Kyungsoo, unless you are going to buy a new counter, stop slamming your phone.”

It’s one hour till noon and I am still in my pajamas, I possibly broke my phone, and I haven’t had my Cocoa puffs. I am more than pissed. Which is the way Jongin found me when he arrived 20 minutes earlier than scheduled. And in his hands was a plastic bag containing 2 boxes of cocoa puffs.

It was during my 2nd year of college when Jongin gave me a second chance. I didn’t exactly ask for it, now that I think of it. It sort of just happened.

Due to our proximity, it was bound we were to attend the same college.  So when Jongin showed up at a college party that Jongdae hosted in our shared apartment, it came to no surprise that I saw a leaner, mature Jongin standing by some freshmen, glancing my direction every few seconds.

As I recalled past memories, I wondered why we were even having a party. I had argued with Jongdae earlier that day about the whole party fiasco.

“Kyung, you need to let loose!”

“What I need to do is read.”

“That’s all you ever do...”

“Party is all you ever do.”

“Nuh-uh, I read too!”

“Naruto doesn’t count.”

Somehow, he won the conversation. If I remember correctly, he threatened to suffocate me in my sleep. I didn’t plan on dying any time soon, so I agreed.

So there I stood, amidst my drunk peers, as I attempted to read A Catcher in The Rye. Next thing I knew, I was pushed against a wall by Jongin. Gently, if I may add.

“I couldn’t forget you. I tried moving on, but no one was you,” he said, studying my new black hair and sophisticated wardrobe: skinny jeans and a white button up. Despite my disapproval of the party, I didn’t want to be underdressed.

I studied Jongin back and almost fainted. He has been working out. So in the spur of the moment, I froze. Then, I sarcastically replied. “I am one of a kind.”

His eyes glimmered with sadness as his lips twitched.  “Which is why I need you back.”

And that is how it sorta happened.

It was during this period when my love for Cocoa puffs began. Jongin and I were happily dating once again. This time, no fakeness.

He would walk me to my classes, and drop off cookies and chocolates during my study sessions with Kris and Jongdae. He was the epitome of a gentleman, and I loved that.

So when a new mart opened up, he waited in line with me at 3 in the morning since I wanted to be one of the first 100 shoppers; they would receive many crazy discounts (99% of many products).  And as a college student, barely getting by, this was a tempting offer.

When the doors finally opened 4 hours later, a hoard of overweight women came in like hyenas. Thankfully, Jongin made sure I didn’t fall over and die. It was when I reached for a box of Jongin’s favorite cookies that a woman bumped into me rather harshly and made me collapse onto a tower of cereal: which just happened to be cocoa puffs.

Curious by the crazy bird printed on the front, I bought a box.  They were amazing.

And Jongin was there when it all happened.

He was also there when my cancer reappeared.

He wasn't there for the rest. I cut off all contact with him and ran away.

Why? Because the doctor told me treatment won’t work this time.

I was given a deadline of 2 years. If I'm lucky, three.

2 years have passed since then. I’m on my last year.