Entry 3

January 13, 2012

Before I knew it, my sophomore year of highschool came to its final point. I was officially a senior. Jongin was now a sophomore and my admirer. He attempted to woo me  every opportunity given. It became a routine to discover tiny confectionaries in my desk.  

For a while, I swore he had a scheme to give me cavities.

I never submitted to his proposals. Primarily because I was more preoccupied with the reappearance of my cancer. Hospital visits became more frequent. Secondly, I liked him too much. I wasn’t even aware that I was gay. It was all too overwhelming.

Plus, Jongdae was dating Minseok at this time. They hit it off when I invited Kris and Jongdae to my home to watch horror movies. Instead of hearing Kris complain about every single bit, Jongdae spent it lip-locking with Minseok in my bathroom. I had it disinfected the next day.

Jongin had prepared a huge event just to ask me out the day I was taking a temporary leave from school. Unfortunately, Jongin wasn’t made aware of my situation and took it as a rejection on my behalf.

Once I was dressed in a pale blue gown and admitted into my ward was when I received the news of Jongin being caught drunk in a bar near the red light district. He almost sold himself off due to the fact that nobody wants him. Nobody being me.

If it wasn’t for Kris’s skills in arguing, Jongin would have spent the night in jail.

“Kyungsoo, please speak with Jongin. He really likes you,” Jongdae pleaded as Minseok held his hand and rubbed circles on his wrist.

I became furious and ended up sobbing. Minseok cradled me just like in the past and within moments I was calmed. As Jongdae served me water and Minseok whispered comforting words, I whispered the foolish true.

“My treatment will leave me bald. I want Jongin to remember me with red hair because he said it was cool. I wish to stay cool in his eyes.”

And like in a fictional drama, Jongin was standing outside my door the moment I said that and rushed in furious. If looks could kill.

“Stupid! Idiot! Moron! ! Fool! Imbecile!”

After Jongin had recited every synonym known to mankind, he cried. Jongdae decided that it was best if Minseok and him left. It was only Jongin and me.

I patiently waited for his tears to cease. They kept on going.

“Kyungsoo, you’re cool no matter what,” he said after wiping  his tears. He took 3 strides and before I knew it, wrapped me in an embrace whispering sweet nothings.

I didn’t even notice I was crying until he pointed it out. We were both a crying mess. We could only laugh.

I didn’t hesitate to reply yes when he asked me out.