You woke up to your phones ringtone.  At first you didn’t want to pick it up but when you looked at the id… “PC?” *ChanYeol must have put his number in my phone last night.*

“Hello?”

“Hey, what are you doing tonight?”

“Sleeping.” You answered with a yawn.

“Yah, sleeping with me or your boyfriend.”

“Probably on the couch with my pillow.”

“You’re funny, what time does lover boy get off work?”

“Why are you so intent on meeting up with me?” You ignored his question.

“Come on MinAh, you already know the answer to that. I just want to see you.”

“See me ?”

“That would be nice.”

“Look ChanYeol I’m not interested in being friends.”

“Good cause I’m not either. Run away with me.”

“What?”

“Run away with me. I have a house on my private island. No one will find us and we can be together.”

“Very convincing but I think my sleep is more important right now.”

“You don’t have to answer away right now… but MinAh I’m always here for you.”

“I know.” *Why am I still on the phone with this guy? He’s nothing but trouble.* “ChanYeol… last night was just a onetime thing.”

“So you decide to tell me now? It’s too late for that you know. I’m addicted to you.”

“But…”

“No more buts okay? I’ll not in Seoul forever, so when you decide who you really want… tell me.”

“Don’t hold your breath.”

“See you later beautiful.”

Click…

You sat up and looked at your pillow. “I can’t believe I let myself go this far. Maybe SuHo will break up with me soon. That’s all I can hope for. Maybe I should just tell him… no that’s too difficult.” You sighed and realized you were still wearing the red dress. *I should really shower. Maybe I can clear my mind...*

You got in the shower and stood in the hot water, trying to relax.

“You’re already wet for me.”

“I’ll touch you wherever you want me to…”

“I love you MinAh.”

ChanYeol’s voice wouldn’t stay out of your head. You relaxed on your knees and let the hot water hit your face, wishing it would wash away everything that happened between the two of you. But it wouldn’t. Memories stained in your head like the red on your face. *I should have taken a bath* you thought.

When you stepped out the shower you heard the door unlock. *SuHo’s home…* “MinAh are you awake?” he called.

“Ne!” You answered. You had put your robe on and started to brush your hair.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better, I’m all rested up now. I was going to make dinner for you.”

“Its fine. I stopped somewhere and got us both a pizza.”

“Great. I’m going to get dressed and come eat with you.” SuHo nodded and gave you your privacy. Meanwhile you wondered what it would be like to do those things with SuHo.

SuHo and you sat in the living room and at delicious pizza to the sound of angry men arguing on the T.V. you felt your cell vibrate so you checked to see who it was. *PC* you sighed and denied the call, seconds later there was a text.

“You should come outside.”

“Why?” You replied. You closed our phone and tucked it under your pillow that you sat on.

“So I was thinking of taking my vacation soon.” SuHo said. “Is there a place you want to visit MinAh? We can go to the beach.”

“The beach? What beach?”

“Eurwangni Beach.”

“Whoa! I haven’t been to the beach in so long! But won’t it be cold?”

“Don’t worry it’ll be warm and we don’t have to get in the water. I’ll rent a hotel for a couple of days, is that fine?”

“Yeah!” You nodded and smiled. Going to the beach was something you and your father used to do when you were really young, going to Eurwangni Beach would bring back those memories. Your pillow vibrated again so you hesitantly picked it up.

“I want to see you in your cute pajamas.”

“How do you know where I live?” You texted back with a frown.

“Are you okay?” SuHo touched your shoulder.

“Yeah I’m okay. It’s uhh... its Ae-Cha she’s just being Ae-Cha.”

“Oh okay.”

“A little bird told me. Now should I come up there or…?” You read ChanYeol’s text in fear. *I’m not ready to tell SuHo yet…*

“She want’s me to meet her outside. I’ll be right back.”

“Should I come with you?”

“No it’s girl stuff… you don’t wanna know heh heh…” You kissed SuHo’s cheek and he smiled waving as you walked out the door with your boots and coat.

___________________________________________________________________-

“You kept me waiting…” ChanYeol said as you approached him.

“Why the hell are you here?” You growled but he ignored you and grabbed your waist to kiss you. You managed to pull away and you wipe your mouth. He just smiled. “Really ChanYeol, right in front of my apartment?”

“You’re right. Let’s go for a ride.”

“I’m not exactly dressed for the occasion.” You told him. He just sighed and put a hand on your head.

“You’re so cute…”

“What happened to you ChanYeol? You used to be nice and respectful.”

“I thought I used to be a jerk.”

“You’re being a jerk now.” You moved his hand away. “I have to tell SuHo what happened last night before I lie to him anymore.”

*So you haven’t told him yet? Interesting.*

“And if he decides to leave me or stay I am not going to allow myself to be manipulated by you again.” ChanYeol suddenly grabbed your arm and dragged you along to the side of the building, the only reason you were being dragged was because your tiny legs couldn’t keep up with his long strides.. “ChanYeol where are we going?” He stopped and pinned you against the wall of the apartment building. The ally was small and cramped. It was also very dark.

“Is it hard to carry your guilt?” You stay silent. “Why are you denying yourself MinAh?”

“I’m not.”

“Look at you… you’re even lying to me. MinAh I know deep inside that you want to be with me instead of Suho up there.”

“No that’s what you want.” You tried to break away but his hold on your wrists was too strong.

“I’m not going anywhere MinAh.”

“Why don’t you go back home to your wife? I’m just a regular person. I’m not a model or an adviser to a company.”

“It only makes me want you more.”

“You don’t know what you want.”

“Aish, don’t give me your speech again MinAh.”

“Let me go.”

His grip on you loosened but his eyes stay locked on you. You were frozen. “You told me you loved me this morning… do you remember?”

“Yeah… But I want to take it back. You aren’t what you were last year.”

“No… I’m not. But it’s because of you I’m this way.”

“Psychotic?”

“Then you’ve never fully experienced love.”

“I am in love. But with not with you.”

“Is it real? Have you done anything crazy to prove it?”

“I slept with you.” You shot back, but it wasn’t the right response. It didn’t prove anything, much more like the opposite. You didn’t love suho if you could do something so stupid… and with ChanYeol!

“You did… twice. So what does that say?”

“I want to give up.” You muttered. Your head was hanging now from the weight of guilt brought upon you. In your heart you love ChanYeol, almost as much as you thought you loved SuHo. But you couldn’t let go SuHo. He was your best friend, your first love…

ChanYeol lifted your chin and looked at you with soft eyes. His expression make you feel weaker than you already did. “Don’t cry MinAh…” He whispered. You didn’t realize tears escaped your eyes so when he said that you leaned against his shoulder and cried… and cried hard. He hugged you and brushed your hair back with his hands. “I’m sorry MinAh. I… I went too far.”

“Shut up you jerk. I can’t believe I can even like you.”

“What?” You looked up and grabbed his collar, pulling him down to your lips. You had to do it, you had to know.

*Yes… This feeling again. It’s almost addictive.* ChanYeol softly your lips asking for entry so you parted them. The feeling grew stronger and moved down to your core. You were getting hot again. “MinAh…” ChanYeol whispered through the kiss. He gently kissed the corner of your lips to your jaw and then your neck. His hands rubbed against your legs and up your shirt. You shivered once his cold hands grabbed hold of your and you let out a relieved groan when he pinched your s. “ChanYeol enough…” He ignored your plea and grabbed you legs holding you up. Your back was against the wall now and his hands were so near your wetness you almost begged for it.

“I’ll let you go… but just one more kiss.”

________________________________________________________________________-

There’s a difference between love and lust…

I had both before I even realized.

I’ll have to choose one soon

Because all good things come to an end.

Do I want a bad boy…

Do I want a comfortable life?

A reliable husband.

Wait…

What about his wife?

Will I be his mistress?

Is this what I really want?

I don’t know anymore…