The cold was biting on my skin as I dashed through the streets, searing and darting in sensations too quick to comprehend. I didn’t bother the cold seeping, neither the warm wetness that gushed freely on my cheeks, nor the blurry faces of people around me. All I concentrated on was reaching Chanyeol. It was all that mattered.

All this time, it was always him who mattered.

“Chanyeol scoffed saying as if the rumor that you’re actually a couple was true.”

“Just thinking about it makes me sick.”

you. you Park Chanyeol for tripping me down the stairs that afternoon. you for sharing popsicles on the way home. you for letting me ruffle your hair. you for holding me close in your sleep. you for waiting outside my porch with a bouquet in hand. you for braving the rain just to walk me home. you for falling asleep under the stars. you for the daffodils and the hyacinths. you for making me feel special. you for the sweet nothings. you for the attachment. you for being my best friend.

When I arrived in the school grounds, I took a breather before rushing again towards the gymnasium. As soon as I stepped into the building, the lights seemed to signal my entrance, like the spotlight shone on me. I made my way slowly until I stepped on the perimeter of the court. I heard a deafening whistle and then all eyes were on me.

Kai’s.

Dara’s.

Chanyeol’s.

As soon as Chanyeol saw me, he rushed to me, a worried look on his face. “What’s wro-” he said as he approached me. I cut him short, and backed a step away.

I gave him the dirty finger.

The gymnasium fell into multitudes of hushes but I concentrated on Chanyeol’s stunned face. “I should have done that long ago on the stairs where you ing placed your bag for me to trip.” I croaked, unabashed of the eyes that were directed at me. He made a move towards me again. “Don’t,” I said on the top of my voice. “One step more and I’ll punch you in the face.” He stopped.

“Baek, what are you doing? People are looking at you.” His eyes, pleading, were scanning the people around. From the corner of my eye, I saw Kai fighting his way to stop a middle-aged man from entering the court.

“Oh? Now you’re the one to talk Park Chanyeol. Has it always been like this? Have you always been embarrassed of me?”

“What? No!”

“ you.”

“Listen, Baek-”

“No you listen Park Chanyeol, let’s end the bull now shall we? Just admit it that you’re embarrassed of me. Because people are spreading rumors that you’re ing your best friend isn’t it?” His mouth fell open.

“Tell them Park Chanyeol. Tell them how much I disgust you. Tell them how happy you are that you’re finally getting a girlfriend you can show off. Now you’ll be safe with the rumors. Now your teammates will stop teasing you. Tell them, Yeol. Tell them!”

He looked at Kai, and all my defenses went down.

“YOU ING TELL THEM YOU MORON!”

The room fell silent. Chanyeol’s gaze went to the floor.

“You want to be saved from the embarrassment Chanyeol? Well, okay. I’ll just do it for you. Because it was always about you all this time. Okay everyone listen up! ” I shouted  laughing as the tears and snot washed over my face.

“I’m in love with Park Chanyeol.”

Suddenly his gaze went back to me, but I rolled my eyes as I wiped my tears.

“It’s been what like two years already and I’ve been secretly in love with him. I love it when he walks me home to school. I love it when he shares popsicles with me. I love the smell of his hair. I love seeing him on my porch with a bouquet in hand. I love the attachment. I love the special treatment. I love everything he did for me.” I paused, my lips quivering.

“But no, he doesn’t love me back. He’s just a stupid boy who loves making other people special. Or maybe he’s just too nice to give a messed up boy like me a piece of a dream. I don’t know, either way, he’s not into me. He’s not ing me. So you, you judgmental pricks Chanyeol call teammates should stop teasing him for it. And for all you ing pieces of who don’t know anything better to do in life than to spread silly rumors, go on! You’re free to scorn me. Leave the alone. He’s got a girlfriend to tend to.”

“You better leave the girl alone too because I ing chose her for him. Oh yes I forgot to tell you Park Chanyeol. All this sweet things you call dating, it was all designed. I wanted you to be happy and there you have it I got you a girlfriend. You are ing welcome.”

As if on cue, I saw Dara walking from the bleachers. I mouthed an “I’m sorry” which she answered by putting her hands to her lips. Chanyeol was dumbfounded, his eyes red and ready to release the sadness. You idiot.  

“I have one last thing to ask of you before I go and wallow in my room…”

I breathed in deep before releasing the anguish.

“Why? God damn it Park Chanyeol why? You could have just told me. I would have listened. I would have walked away. I thought I- I thought i was your bestfriend. Heck I even found you a girl friend to make you happy! Can’t you see how much I was willing to go? I was planning to go all the way for you to be happy. I wanted to be the umbrella to your rain because I love you. I mean, I loved you ‘cause now I just think it’s over.  You’ve always been the rain. I can’t think of anything more than realize how much you disgust me.” I said, wiping the fresh tears that came out not of sadness but of anger. I turned towards the exit in tune with the silence that engulfed the room only to hear a pair of shoes squeaking on the court. I looked back to see a crying Chanyeol. The side of Chanyeol I never wanted to see again was in front of me in his full glory, tears streaming his face. Say something Chanyeol. Say something before I give up on you.

Instead, he just stood on the spot and watched me walk away.

“I will never forget our friendship, Yeol.” I shouted from the door. “But I’ll never be your friend again.”

And with that, I disappeared into the night.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I'm okay. i just think I have something in my eye like a twig or a branch ///////3

I'm leaving it up to you to decide whether Chanyeol really meant what he said. I kinda actually am a little depressed right here coz of how the story turned out. But realizing this is angst, I guess it's for the best. I'm too sad to even reply to your comments :( 

Heads up. The next update will be the last chapter so let's all be cool and just wait for it :') Thank you everyone for staying with me until now.

[EDIT] Don't worry it won't be this short. I'll make sure to join all the dots together in the last chapter.