Home (Is the Last Place I Want to Be)

Description

Chanyeol is straight. Baekhyun is gay. They're bestfriends and Chanyeol wants to keep it that way.

Foreword

 

 

 

“Yeol.”

“Hm?”

“Do you think we’ll still stay friends after this?”

“Of course.”

“I kinda want us to drift apart.”

“Wait, what? But why?”

“So that I can forget my feelings for you.”

A pause followed, trailed by the humdrum of waves crashing into the shore.

“You still like me huh.”

“Honestly. You never developed feelings for me?”

“I’m straight, Baek. You know that.”

“No. Look past through that. If I were a girl, or if you were a girl, or if this world didn’t have the concept of gender, would you have developed feelings for me?”

“Baek.”

“I’m not asking you to love me. Maybe this is just my ego talking, maybe because I think I’m not good enough for someone I love. I just want to know. If we lived different lives, will you have loved me?”

“Let me throw that question back at you: If I were a girl, or if you were a girl, or if I were somebody else, would you have developed feelings for me?”

“If you care for me like what you did in all these years, if you smile like your usual smile, if you stay with me like how you did every time I had a hard time, then yes. I would have.”

Chanyeol was speechless.

 “You haven’t answered my question.”

“Let’s just say I believe in an infinite number of universes. And somehow, somewhere out there, I believe we’re in love with each other.”

“I see.”

“I love you, Baek. Believe me. But not in the way that you want me.”

 

 


A/N: This was originally planned to be posted on ChanBaek Day but I got busy lmao This will be my last ChanBaek fic in a while. I'll be branching out to other ships in my next stories. 

Also, I would like to dedicate this story to those who died in the Orlando Pulse Club shooting recently. They didn't deserve the hate that the world gave them. #LoveIsLove

urge_l
It was fun and heart-warming to see so many people who have been touched and even changed by this story and I thank you all for appreciating my work. Seriously. It was an honor writing for you. (3/3)

Comments

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Beloved_1230 #1
Chapter 3: Me coming back to relive the pain this fic caused me
Gracegesang #2
Chapter 2: Just reread it...and this made me tear up again.
SehunasDick #3
Chapter 3: I thought I haven't read this yet so I reread it again tonight. I am in tears again. I relate so much to this and it hurts a lot. Thank you for this wonderful piece of writing!
MeAFanficAddict #4
Chapter 3: Hey author. It's okay. I'm glad you wrote here amd still stink about it. And i hope you are okay and doing fine. I can understand where you are coming from. Saying that.. How dare you write such a beautiful story😭😭😭 i read it way back and it still hurts me when i think of it. I remember crying really hard and calling my friend. But it's so well written I can't really hate you. Thank you for writing this. 😭😭😭 I don't think i can read this again for a few years
Beau1996 1331 streak #5
Chapter 2: I'm teary eyed at the end - it's hard not always want happy endings although they rarely happen in real life - thank you for the thoughtful story author-nim ❤️
DreamyGongju
#6
Chapter 3: You are welcome :)
yshinnoona
#7
Chapter 1: I am not crying, I swear it
EXOkimYixing #8
Chapter 2: The ending really hit me. Not ChanBaek related but the fact of the reality of it. “We all start somewhere, regardless of where that is, and we were made to go up/move forward.”

Thank you so much for writing this. I had full body chills the whole time I was reading.
pcybbhoe #9
THIS IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN!! Thank you for this wonderful story!! I cried a lot huhuhu I know some things never really work out the way we want them to be. We can't always get what we want especially the feelings of others. AAAAAH this story made me realize a lot of things!! I'm thankful that I came across this fic :')) GOOD JOB!!
SHINee4eternity #10
Chapter 2: My feelings were ripped in half to say the least. This is such a heartbreaking story and you conveyed the emotions beautifully.