“Good morning, Baek!”

 

“Hey.”

 

For the nth time in a few days, Chanyeol was waiting at the porch again, ready to walk me to school. He says it’s a bargain since he can’t walk me home from school in the afternoons because of their ball practice. He was wearing his neck tie the wrong way and, well, if things were just like what they were a week ago, I might have lunged in front of him to fix the cloth around his neck, rolling my eyes. But things have changed. Instead, I walked right past him and headed for the gate. He followed me silently from behind.

 

A few days have passed since Chanyeol’s confession. I actually have no idea on what happened, not of negligence, but because I didn’t want to hear anything about it. Luhan was still pissed with me, considerably since I chose to walk out the gate after all his banters of saying he won’t care about my decision. As soon as I stepped out of the school, Luhan went back to the building to fetch Sehun. “You’ve made a wrong decision, Baek. I’m out of your from now on, you hear me.” I remembered him say before storming to his boyfriend’s classroom. “Thank you Luhan for everything.” Was what I managed to whisper, knowing that the words didn’t matter to him anymore after his friend betrayed his wise advice. I walked home alone. And until now, I still want to at least have had a warm hand rubbing my back as the tears carved their way on my face that afternoon.

 

So far, it’s still the same us, only just that Dara is now officially part of the picture. She apologized the night of the confession but was quick to taunt me. “Well here it is, sunbae. You got what you want. I hope it hurts well so that you’ll realize how wrong you are,” Her words, plain but heavy from the speakers of my phone. “I heard Luhan sunbae is pissed with you. He should be.” Those were the last words I heard from her before I blared out “Why does it feel like everyone is against me just because I want him to be happy?” I hung up the phone soon after.  

 

Well maybe I wasn’t too alone after all, because Chanyeol was still with me. And he’s happy. I’m happy. I can live with that.

 

“Is Luhan pissed with you?” he asked while we walked side by side down the street. “I noticed you’ve been alone in lunch for some time now.”

 

“Nah. He’s just busy with his boyfriend.”

 

“Boyfriend?” he asked, eyes wide open. I shook my head.

 

“Girlfriend. I mean girlfriend.”

 

“Oh, I see.”

 

“So how’s Dara?”

 

“Well she’s nice and all. And fun. And lively. She’s perfect.” He said, looking at me, smiling. His eyes, searching, never leaving mine. I looked down and chuckled.

 

“Glad to hear that. About time you got a girlfriend.”

 

“Yeah.” He said softly. “So hey, uhm, have you heard about the carnival next town? The town’s having a big memorial for their founding the same day of our game. And it’s the biggest attraction.” he asked. I nodded silently.

 

The news came to me two days ago when the owner of the club I performed at asked me to come back and be a regular. I declined, knowing that I owed everything to Luhan and now that we weren’t in good terms it just seemed unfair. Besides, it will be better to shove the memory of my performance with Chanyeol behind my head.  It should be as it is supposed to be – just memories. But the owner was too stubborn to give up so he asked me to perform for the memorial, one last time. “Just one day Mr. Byun. And it will be over.”

 

Chanyeol continued talking. “You want to come with us after the game? The whole team will be there.” I shook my head.

 

“I can’t Yeol. I have a gig.”

 

“Whoa. Where?”

 

“Next town, too. In the bar we performed before.”

 

“On the same day?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Oh.” We both remained silent for a few moments. And then he started talking again.

 

“Well how about after your gig?” He continued, the usual stubbornness showing in his voice. “I could wait for you to finish, if you want.” I scoffed. “I can’t, okay? Can’t you go with your girlfriend?” I said exasperated.

 

He stopped walking.

 

“I-. I just…I wanted to be with you.” He said; his voice soft and pleading, I failed to stop the urge to look back at him. My heart jumped in my chest. I wanted to tell him to go on, and convince me to come. To tell me he won’t enjoy the carnival without me. That it’s actually me he wants to be with instead of Dara. But then he spoke, “Okay then, if you can’t.” And again, the anticipation died. I’ve never been so glad to see the school gate right in front of us.

 

As soon as we entered the room, Chanyeol dropped his bag and exited in a flash. Days have always been like this since the confession. After walking me to school, he’ll go to Dara’s room and sit with her until the class starts. Part of me wished he’s just doing it to make me jealous but what could a best friend’s jealousy do? Also, he’s still doing his end of the bargain to me, being my best bud and all. He’s balancing two hearts at once, and I have to admit he’s good at this. I am the only one to blame for the discontent.

 

Luhan came in not long after and we shared knowing looks. But he just rolled his eyes at me; I smiled weakly and went on to wearing my earphones. However, today something different happened. As I was halfway through Boys Like Girls’ Thunder, someone took the buds from my ears. Annoyed, I looked up to see Luhan staring down at me.

 

“The owner of the club called me last night,” he said nonchalantly. “He wanted me to convince you to be a regular. Can you just say yes so he won’t bug me?”

 

“I’m sorry Luhan.”

 

“I still am pissed with you okay. Until you admit to yourself Chanyeol loves you.”

 

I rolled my eyes, chuckling. “Oh god, I missed you.” I saw him stifle a smile. “Shut up okay. Just tell the owner you’ll get the job.”

 

“I think I’ll just show up for the memorial by the end of the month and then that’s it. You should come. Or maybe you’re the carnival type, Chanyeol says it’s grand. You should take your boyfriend.”

 

“Oh, so you’re still with lover boy? I admire you’re perseverance.”

 

“At least, he never left me.” I shot him back, showing my tongue. He went on to grab some of my hair. “Urghgghh Baek. You don’t know how much I want to hit your stubborn right now.”

 

I laughed and for a flicker of a moment I saw him smile. “Trust me, I know.” He released my hair and went to his seat. “Just tell him okay. He’s a pain in the seriously.” I arranged my messy hair and took the buds back to my ear. I checked my phone, typed and sent the message to Luhan.

 

I’ll tell him okay. Don’t worry.

 

Classes came to an end and I rushed deliberately down to the school gate in order to avoid seeing Chanyeol and Dara together lest I change my mind and confess to him on the spot. I didn’t turn back or at least think of telling Chanyeol I was already on my way home. The only thing in my head was getting melon popsicles to satisfy my craving.

 

Upon entering the convenience store where we usually buy our treat, I saw a familiar face on the counter – Yixing. In that same moment I felt the urge of just ignoring him and heading towards the fridge where they kept the ice cream. But then, he’s never done me wrong so I went on and tapped his shoulder.

 

“Hey.” I beamed. He was surprised, his usual droopy eyes, opening wide. I chuckled a bit. When he recognized me, he was quick to apologize.

 

“Hello! I’m sorry, Baek.” He said as he took out a few bills and gave it to the cashier. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

 

“Well, I was just on my way to buy some melon popsicles.” When I saw what he bought, it was my turn to get surprised. On the counter was a box of cigarettes. But I recovered my wits by asking him if he wanted to get a popsicle too.

 

He paused and I was sure he saw me checking out his pack of roll-ups. He smirked. “Yeah sure,” he slung his arm around my shoulder as we started walking towards the fridge. Awkwardness in the air until he said, “Come on Baek. I know you saw my cigars, It’s okay.” as he ruffled my hair. “I know I can trust you.”  I opened the fridge and took out two popsicles before replying. “How long have you been smoking?”

 

He shrugged. “Quite a while. Since I came here. Life’s hard, it’s just something I do to feel better.” I gave him the treat.

 

“Thanks,”

 

“So the rumors are true then.” I jested, “You’ve been smoking pot in school.” He laughed.

 

“Nah. I don’t do . I just go with my sticks.”

 

“I see.” I nodded before heading back to the counter. I paid the two popsicles and bid him goodbye. He opened the door for me on my way out. “You know what? How about I walk you home? I got nothing else to do, and house’s a bore.” He asked, the popsicle dripping on his hands. I looked at it and then back to his face. “You should eat it fast, Yixing,” I said laughing. He looked at the cold treat and started it. We both laughed. I began walking while he followed.

 

The walk with him was surprisingly less awkward. He went on looking for something funny on the road and pointing it to me which made us laugh instantly. His humor was tolerable and I realized maybe he’s just got his bad days when it comes to showing his real self to others. I also came to know a lot of things about him. Like how he came to our town from China because of his uptight parents and that he’s staying with his older brother in a small apartment. Seems like everybody in this town’s got their own share of misfortune. That’s when the question hit me.

 

“Wait a minute. You have basketball practice! I almost forgot.” I shrieked at him who was grinning teasingly at me. “Why are you here?”

 

“Basketball practice? More like sit-quietly-on-the-bleachers-watching-basketball-practice,” he muttered, chewing the popsicle stick. He placed his hands behind his neck as he continued talking. “News flash, I’m only a replacement. I could skip practice and they won’t ing care.”

 

“I’m sorry.” I said, searching for his eyes which were fixed firmly on the pavement.

 

“Don’t be.” He grumbled quietly. “I’m not a charity case.” And then he looked at me, his hands fishing something from his pocket. “Would you mind?” he turned to me as he showed me his pack of cigarettes. I shrugged. He took one and lit it, blowing a mirage of smoke on top of us.

 

“Actually thank you,” he smiled, and looked at me. “You’re the only one who’s listened to me ever in school. I hear them say I’m weird. Well , all of us got weird in us. Why do they cringe when they see people overflowing with it? You know what I’m saying?” he cried out. I released a chuckle.

 

“You’re weird,” I teased. I looked at him and smiled. “But I like it.” He gave me a big, un-self-conscious smile.

 

We continued walking until the sun disappeared behind us. We talked a lot of things until we came to the point where he asked me about the carnival. “Are you coming?”

 

I shook my head. “Nope.” He creased his forehead. “Wait why? You got no date or something? I could be your date.”

 

I almost bit my tongue.

 

“What?!”

 

“Yeah come on it would be fun. I don’t mind. Well I thought…” he grinned. “…because you were too fond of Chanyeol, I thought you could be gay or you know willing to try those kinds of things. Not that – oh god – not that I want to get into your pants or something.” he continued, ending with a nervous laugh. I turned the reddest of reds.

 

“It’s not because I don’t have a date you weirdo. It’s because I have a gig. And oh my god do you actually think I’m gay for Chanyeol?” I asked, the words sputtering into thin air, quietly, lest the neighbors hear. His laugh echoed in the street so hard I had to cover his mouth with my hand. He flailed for his escape.

 

“Gotcha Byun Baekhyun. I always thought you were. I just needed a confirmation.”

 

“Oh Jesus Christ Yixing, shut up or I’ll end you,” I mumbled, burying my face on my hands. “Don’t worry, Baek I won’t tell on you as a favor for not telling on me about my cigarettes. Just tell me one thing.” I looked at him.

 

“Do you love him?”

 

I looked at his eyes and all I could see was sympathy rather than curiosity, and for a moment I realized I’ve been too comfortable with him in just a span of a few minutes. I sighed and punched him on the rib.

 

“Ow! What was that for?”

 

“Yes I love him,”

 

“Well .” He cursed, grabbing my arm.

 

“You were right not to tell him you love him.” His voice, reaching an urgency he never showed before. The cigarette fell on the road and then both his hands were on my shoulders.

 

“What are you talking about?” I asked bewildered but completely ignorant of the hands grabbing me. He cleared his throat. And when he spoke, I felt my world crumble.

 

“That day Chanyeol confessed to Dara, I was in the bathroom doing my thing in the cubicle when two men came. I was sure they were Kai and Chanyeol. I’ll recognize those two bastards anywhere. Well the thing is I heard Kai ask Chanyeol whether his plan was working. He said yes and I heard him say your name. He told Kai it won’t be long until you distance away from him. And that he’s finally getting a girl he can show off. Kai that he’s now finally done with dealing with the rumors, getting teased by our teammates. Chanyeol scoffed saying as if the rumor that you’re actually a couple was true. And lastly he said, and I quote:”

 

“Just thinking about it makes me sick.”

 

 

 

 

 

“I’m sorry, Bae- Hey Baek, where are you going?”

 

 

 

               

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Baek!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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AUTHOR'S NOTES: OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE OMG OMG I AM SO SORRY GUYS 3 IT'S LIKE THE WORST TWIST YOU COULD GIVE TO YOUR STORY CHARACTER I AM SO SO SORRY EVERYONE 3

I actually don't have anything else to say because I just think I'm the worst person alive. Go ahead and make me miserable in the comments section ;A;