Cha: 008
[DISCONTINUED] That Corner Hides a Pair of EyesWoohyun sure was weird last night.
He tackled me down and started rubbing his cheeks against my arm.
It was embarrassing and it tickled . . A lot.
When i asked him to stop, he did, but he looked upset.
I didn't mean to make him upset, i just wanted him to stop because it felt uncomfortable.
I felt really bad and decided to make it up to him by hugging him in his sleep.
He likes hugs, i know this because he always hugs me in my sleep, so i figured maybe he likes hugs? I don't really know.
But I felt more embarrassed than before when I hugged him, and so I buried my face against his back in my attempt to hide my embarrassment.
But when i woke up, it was him who was hugging me tightly by the waist.
I heard the noisy alarm clock ring thus waking the both of us up.
"Sunggyu-ah" he sheepishly called. "Turn that damn thing off, i want to sleep some more." He said while nuzzling his face in my chest. I felt my cheeks hot but I did what he said and turned the clock off.
"Aren't you suppose to go to school?" I asked him.
"Well yeah, but I feel tired. I just want to sleep all day."
"Tired from what?" I politely asked.
"Trying to find you all night." He said.
"I'm sorry . . " I said, I feel really guilty now. I bothered too many people.
"Well you should be" he said "so just stay here and be my pillow." He childishly said. I smiled at him.
"Alright" I said.
"Now, let me sleep." He said. "You're my pillow for today."
I gently patted his back and we both drifted to sleep.
We later woke up in a rainy noon.
________________________________________________________
It was raining when we woke up.
Sunggyu sure made a nice pillow because I had such a peaceful sleep.
"Sirs." We heard someone say, Noel. Who's standing by the door.
We both looked at him, but he looked at us wide-eyed.
"Oh . . Sorry, I didn't know you were busy." He said.
Sunggyu and I looked at each other, and realized that we were hugging when Noel saw us, suggesting that we were being 'intimate'.
Sunggyu pulled away from the hug and we both sat up.
"No! Its not what you think!" He yelled at Noel, Noel who's already long gone before he could hear him.
He covered his face with his fisted hands and groaned.
"This is bad!" He yelled and curled up in a ball in the bed while covering his entire body with the duvet.
I chuckled a little and patted the embarrassed Sunggyu. I removed the duvet that's covering him to see what he looks like when embarrassed.
He's making me so curious.
I saw him, covering his face using his fisted hands. He's not doing such a good job at hiding his face because i can see him completely red.
I grabbed both of his wrists and removed his fisted hands from his face.
He looked at me with those innocent dark orbs and a reddened face.
He looks so damn cute.
"Gyu-ah, why are you red?" I mockingly asked.
"H-huh? N-no i'm n-not!" He protested like a kid.
"Gyu-ah, are you embarrassed?!"
He opened his mouth but no words came out.
I held his wrists above his head and leaned close to his face. I watch him as he cutely turn his face away from mine.
I like seeing him red, and so i decided to a little.
I leaned in closer to his face and whispered something in his ears.
"You look delicious Gyu-ah" i seductively whispered and blew air into his ears.
I feel him shudder and gasp.
This is fun.
but, something unexpected happened.
"D-don't hurt me . ." He said.
I pulled away from his face and stared at him.
"What?" I asked, while furrowing my eyebrows.
He closed his eyes to stop the tears that are forming in his eyes to flow and turned his head.
I let go of his wrists and kneeled next to him in the bed.
"Yah, what's wrong?" I asked.
He didn't answer.
"Yah! Why!!" I yelled.
I tried to make him sat up but he pushed me away making me fall down in my and stormed out of the room.
What have I done?
________________________________________________________
Those words . .
Hoya said the exact same words while eyeing me.
I still remember his rough touches. His hungry kisses. I hate it. I really hate it.
I ran away from Woohyun. Afraid of what he'd do. Afraid of that moment repeating itself. I ran and ran until i reached a wide open glass door that reveals a view of the mansion's outdoor garden. I stopped at my tracks and stared outside. There, stood a big tree with large branches.
Despite the heavy rain, i walked out from the shade of the mansion and walked towards the big tree. I felt the rain pour down on my hair to my eye lashes, from my shoulders down to my arms.
The rain feels somehow . . Calming.
The coldness feels nice.
I arrived at the tree and touched it's bark. It felt rough against my fingers.
"Narra, Scientific name,Pterocarpus indicus" i muttered.
"The hardwood, which is purplish, is termite resistant and rose-scented. ."
I felt the past information about this tree come back to me. Everything i hear somehow gets stuck in my head. Even if I only heard it once.
"It is the national tree of the Philippines, as well as the provincial tree of Chonburi and Phuket in Thailand."
A strong tree. That is what this is.
I also want to be strong. Why am I always so weak?
I clenched my fist and punched the tree as hard as I could.
I read from a book once that when you try to punch something, the force should come from the arm and not from the wrist. You must have a strong footing in the ground in order for it to be more powerful.
Yes, I read that book once because I wanted to know how I could stand up against Hoya and his friends. They caught me reading it and so they decided to see if it really works. It was also a rainy day like this when i showed them that it works, but I was out-numbered and my heart couldn't take the physical stress. I lost of course, and they forced me to eat chalk. I felt very sick that day, and i spent the whole day at the school's CR vomiting. My throat hurt that day from all the vomiting and i couldn't talk. Uncle hates it when I don't answer him. And so, he beat me up to a pulp that day.
I kept punching the tree while I feel tears running down my face.
I punched it and punched it until my knuckles bled, but I still didn't stop.
I grit my teeth from the anger forming inside me. I hate myself. I really do.
My chest started to tighten and I couldn't breathe.
I fell down on my knees and clenched my chest while trying my best to take oxygen in. I'm still hitting the tree, but my punches got weaker.
I can see puffs of mist when I breathe, it must be really cold. I don't know how cold because i feel numb.
"Sunggyu-ah." I heard someone say, Woohyun.
I didn't turn around, I'm afraid of him.
I heard his footsteps getting closer and I shut my eyes tight.
His footsteps stopped behind me.
"Sunggyu-ah, I'm sorry. I was insensitive." He said. "I forgot what happened to you, I cant believe I forgot about it."
I still didn't answer.
"Sunggyu . . I'm sorry."
He crouched down beside me and held my shoulder.
I clenched my fist, this is how what Hoya did started.
Sometimes, I envy those people who easily forgets everything.
I also want to forget, but then, I am wise enough to know the consequences of my wish. I might forget about who I am, where I live and many many precious memories. If only I could forget everything I hated, but remember the ones i want. Life is unfair that way, it never gives us what we want.
Well it does sometimes, but in a different way. Different, that we would hate it when we see it.
"Sunggyu . . I'm really sorry. Please, I promise I won't do it again." He said, he sounds sincere, but I know he fakes his smiles, so how can he not lie about this one?
I felt him engulf me in his warm embrace and rested his head on mine.
"Sunggyu-ah, lets get inside. We might get sick." He said.
"Then go inside, I'm staying here." I said.
"But I wont until you do. I'll stay here with you. And you must know, when i get sick, I don't heal quickly."
I didn't answer.
"You don't believe me?" He said. "Then I'll prove it to you. Lets get sick Gyu-ah."
I looked at him, he smiled.
He sounds really weird and stupid.
But i don't want him to be sick.
"Woohyun-ah, this is absurd" I told him.
"Then lets go inside." He said.
I fiddled with my bleeding knuckles and accidentally made it bleed more.
Woohyun pulled away from the embrace and held my hands.
I wince, he was too harsh.
"Yah, what happened to your hands?" He asked.
"I punched the tree." I said.
"Why?" He firmly asked.
"I was angry."
He sighed. " At me? Gyu-ah, I'm sorry ok? I'm really sorry."
"Not to you." I said "I'm angry at myself."
He sighed. "C'mon Gyu-ah, we need to get that thing treated."
I stared at my bleeding hands that are being held by Woohyun.
I don't want to go, i want to stay.
"Please?" He asked and started coughing harshly.
I looked at him but he had his face buried in my back.
"Please?" He asked again.
I don't like seeing him like this. Seeing him getting slowly getting sick.
I let go from his grip in my hands and patted his back.
"Lets go woohyun-ah, you're getting sick."
He only nodded and coughed.
I helped him stand up and we walked inside the mansion and to his room.
I laid him in his bed and covered him in duvet.
I sure did a very stupid and horrible thing.
I placed my hand in his forehead and felt his burning skin.
Yes, a very stupid thing indeed. I was selfish.
"Nee, woohyun-ah, i'll go to Dr. Kang" i said and walked out from the room, but came back because i feel at fault. "And . . I'm sorry." I said.
I came to the mansion library to see Dr. Kang reading again.
"Dr. Kang . . " I called out.
He immediately looked away from his book and looked at me.
"What is it?" He asked.
"I . . Uhhh . . I did something bad to Woohyun" i said.
"Huh?"
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Gawd I feel sick.
But it was my fault anyway, I have woken up Sunggyu's trauma.
Stupid.
But then again, I don't want to be sick.
Something happens when I get sick . .
This is bad.
Not that again?!!
I don't want that to happen again . .
It was embarrassing when i did it to Dr. Kang, but to Sunggyu?!!
I don't want him to see that.
When that happens, my consciousness is aware, but I cant control my actions.
When that happens, I always almost kill myself and someone else.
I remember everything that happens even if I'm in that state.
Though I'm lucky enough that it doesn't happen in school.
I do a lot of regretful things.
I even almost pushed someone to their death.
But for some reason, with Sunggyu. I feel like I'll do less than I usually do.
I trust him that he'll keep my sanity.
I feel my head getting heavier and and the place getting hotter.
I tossed and turned in my bed feeling uncomfortable.
Someone, stop me.
Despite the cold rain and the CC being , its very hot in here.
This is how it starts. The heaviness, then the heat.
Someone . . Help me.
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that is all i want -u-
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