Jonghyun sighed softly as he called Seeyang’s phone.  It was already 1 AM.

            “Hello?” responded Seeyang, tiredly.

            “I’m out here.” said Jonghyun, quickly, not wanting her to hang up on him.  He knew well that she has been avoiding his calls, not wanting to talk to him for some reason.

            “What?” she asked.

            “I’m out here.” repeated Jonghyun.  He was standing in front of the brick gates surrounding her family’s new house.  As beautiful as it was, he was never given the chance to go in.  CN Blue had a schedule when they last came to Busan.

            It was already April and still slightly chilly at night.  Jonghyun took in a breath of the fresh Busan spring air and closed his eyes.  He heard the door open and footsteps walking towards him. 

            Jonghyun imagined Seeyang standing in front of him, with a light cardigan wrapped around her body and a pair of short shorts that she usually wear to sleep during the spring and summer.  Her hair would be in a messy pony tail, tied up hastly.  He assumed that over the 2 months, she had gained back her weight as she said that she was going to attend to do.

            “What are you doing here?” Jonghyun heard her asked.

            He opened his eyes and saw the person he was visualizing.  She was as he had imagined, except she was still smaller than her original size.  “I-”

            “You shouldn’t have came.” said Seeyang, stinging Jonghyun’s heart.

            “Why?” he questioned, as he stepped towards her.  The things in his backpack clinked around.

            Seeyang quickly stepped back.  “You should move on.” she said, looking into his eyes.

            “Why would you ever say that?” asked Jonghyun.

            “The contract already ended, Jonghyun.” responded Seeyang.

            “So?!” he said, raising his voice.  “Who cares if that thing ended?”

            “You don’t need to force yourself to be with me any more.” said Seeyang, lowering her voice.

            Jonghyun grabbed her violently and had an urge to want to shake her into her senses.  “How can you possibly say that?!” he asked, hurt.  “Seeyang…”  He hugged her tightly, but she didn’t hug him back. 

            Seeyang tried to push Jonghyun away, but gave up.  “I’ll step aside, so you can freely live your life the way you want to.” she said, into his chest.

            Jonghyun pulled away from the hug and looked down at the girl in front of him.  This is not my Hwan Seeyang, he thought.  “Who are you?” he thought out loud.  “You’re not Seeyang.”

            “Jonghyun…  I was only partly there this whole time.” she said.

            He stepped away, horrified.  “W-What do you mean?” he asked.

            “You,” started Seeyang.  Her voice was literally an octave higher and breaking away.  “You’ve never wanted me as your fake girlfriend.  I am happy that you tried to get comfortable with me out of your own will…  But, you still didn’t accept me as your fake girlfriend until when Gyuri Unnie didn’t turn your way anymore. 

            “She has always been the one…  Having you in that drama with her will help you get close to her.  I think that it’s perfect timing because you started filming not long after the contract was terminated.  So, Jonghyun, as a friend…  Please, just move on and take this opportunity to be with your ideal woman.”

            Jonghyun looked down at this young woman in disbelief.  “What are you talking about?” he questioned.  “How can I just move on?  I love you, Hwan Seeyang.  You are my girlfriend, no matter how much you deny it.”

            Seeyang pursed her lips together.  “You only call me that after all those skinship moments.” she said, with her pitchy voice.  “It’s not love.  It’s only lust.”

            “How would you know?!” asked Jonghyun, angry.  “How would you know what love is?”

            “Of course I don’t know what love is....” replied Seeyang, with her voice cracking.  “I say that you only have lust for me because you have only started to really care, worry, and be attached to me after all those trial kisses!  In the beginning, you didn’t even give a darn of who I was because I wasn’t pretty enough!!!  Your ideal type…  The prettier, the better.”

            Jonghyun silently cursed himself as Seeyang took out her phone and played a video in his face.  It was a video of Jonghyun, sleeping on his bed and mumbling.  ”I have to make sure you don’t get too close to other male idols incase you fall for them.” slurred Jonghyun,.  “That would be horrible, if you fall for them…  I’ll have to do a one man show, you know.  But, I especially hate the idea of you being my girlfriend…’  

            Jonghyun let out a gasp as he heard himself groaned softly.  ‘We don’t match…  You’re too short, too chubby, and too average looking…  We don’t look good together…’  Jonghyun closed his eyes.  ‘With what my parents said about marriage and all…  Don’t take it to heart.’

            ‘I didn’t.’ said Seeyang in an offended tone.

            ‘It’s just not going to happen…’ mumbled Jonghyun.  ‘Marriage…  Children…  You and I…  Never going to happen.  Never…  Never...  Gyuri…  Gyuri…’

            “I never meant to be in your way…” said Seeyang, as she at him with teary eyes.  “You never had to completely give up yourself for me.  I’m sorry.”

            “Seeyang,” said Jonghyun, as he placed his hands on her shoulders.  “How could you take those stupid words to heart?  I was drunk!  Why would you-”

            “A drunken man never keeps his mouth silent, Jonghyun!” cried Seeyang, as she pushed his hands off of her.  “Goodbye, Number 1.”  She quickly ran back inside, closing the gates behind her and leaving Jonghyun alone in the streets.

            “Seeyang!!  Seeyang!!  Come back!!” he yelled, as he banged on the gates.  He could see her running inside, wiping her tears away with her back facing him.  “Seeyang…   Come back…  Comeback…”  His voice was weak from the emotional roller coaster.  Jonghyun sighed softly, as he stared at the house in front of him.  “I can’t believe that I never told you how much I love you…  I’m sorry…  I’m sorry for saying those words to you and for not telling you about my feelings…”

            “Jonghyun?” asked Mrs. Lee.  She heard some racket from the kitchen downstairs and decided to check.  “Why are you home?”

            Her son wasn’t doing anything in particular in the kitchen, only drinking some herbal tea to help him fall asleep easier.  Mrs. Lee approached him.  “Honey,” she said, as she placed her hand on his face.  “What’s wrong?  Are you alright?  You’re so skinny!  Have you been eating?”

            Jonghyun’s weight loss has been drastic.  Over the 2 months, he had lost 20 lbs, worrying and stressing out about whether Seeyang was fine.  Netizens have also realized that as well, but did not think much of it.  They had assumed that it was for his role in his drama.  However, those that knew him personally knew that there was something wrong.

            At one point during the 2 months, Jonghyun had thought that maybe Seeyang got into an accident and died.  And, perhaps, that was why she had not responded to his phone calls.  Now, knowing the truth that Seeyang was only avoiding him made him feel stupid.

            “M-Mom.” said Jonghyun, as he looked at her.  He wanted to cry and tell her about what was going on with her and Seeyang, but he knows that he couldn’t.  She would be devastated that the relationship had only existed for his career advancement.  Jonghyun approached his mom and hugged her.  “I love you, Mom.”

            “Oh!” she replied, surprised.  “I love you too, Jonghyun.”  She pulled away from his chest with a smile, as she cupped his face.  “You are after all, my handsome son, Lee Jonghyun.”

            The following day, Jonghyun decided to tag along with his mom to the grocery store and finish her errand list with her.  The last thing he wanted to do was stay at home all day alone.  He wanted to be around people and the least person he was around with was his parents, especially his mom.

            Jonghyun was with his mom, trying to help her pick out a good bag of apples.  “Mom, is this good?” he asked, holding up a bag.

            “Jonghyun…  There’s a rotting apple on the bottom.” said Mrs. Lee, as she pointed to a dark, mushy apple on the bottom.

            “Oopps!  My bad.” he said, as he scratched the back of his head.

            Mrs. Lee smiled triumphly when she found the perfect bag and headed back to the cart with her son following behind her.  “Where do you want to eat lunch, Jonghyun?” she asked.

            “I don’t know.” he replied, as he pushed the cart.

            Mrs. Lee looked over at her son, wondering what was wrong with him.  He had insisted to hang out with her today.  She knows well that Jonghyun is a homebody and does not tend to like doing anything outside of his bedroom much.  Now, after he became famous and all, he really does not want to do much but stay home when he visits.

            “Let’s invite Seeyang for lunch.” suggested Mrs. Lee, as she smiled.

            Jonghyun came to a halt and then stood there for a few seconds.  “S-Seeyang is busy, Mom.” he replied.

            “With what?” asked Mrs. Lee.

            “Seeyang is going to take her grandma to the doctor’s today.” lied Jonghyun.  He could see her doing something like that.

            “Really?” asked Mrs. Lee.  “I was talking to Grandma the other day and she seems to be fine.  Probably a check up…”

            Instantly, Jonghyun realized that Seeyang haven’t told her family about what was going on as well.  It made him glad.  Perhaps he still has a chance to get her back.

            At the restarant, Jonghyun and his mother were able to get a private room that overlooked the beach.  The sea was calm and beautiful that day.

            “Jonghyun.” called out Mrs. Lee, grabbing his attention from the scenery.

            He and his mother were done with their food, but had decided to enjoy the scenery before they get the bill.

            “Seeyang told me that you guys are having some problems.” said Mrs. Lee, softly.  Jonghyun looked out at the calm sea with a frown.  “I didn’t bother asking her what kind of problems you two are having, but…  Whatever it is, I hope that you guys solve it.”

            So, she wasn’t hiding it away from her or my family at all…, thought Jonghyun as he grunted a response to his mother.  Is she trying to warm them up to the conclusion that we practically broke up?

            “Well…  This is something…” said Minhyuk, as he ate some stir-fried chicken.

            Gyuri had been worried about Jonghyun, so she dropped by with prepared dishes for the whole group.  She had declined to actually eat with them and left.  It was the night that Jonghyun had returned from Busan.

            “Hmm….  Yeah…” said Jungshin, hesitiating not to let Seeyang’s name slip.

            “Man, See-” started Yonghwa, before he caught himself.  “I think that Gyuri Noona is a very kind woman to think so highly of us.  And, I believe that she must have been really worried about Jonghyun to bother to cook for us.  Thus, we should all send her a fruit basket.”

            Jonghyun had barely touched the rice grains in his rice bowl and the dishes that Gyuri had dropped off.  Even though the guys were dead hungry, they were eating at a slower rate than ever so they wouldn’t end up eating all the food.  Jonghyun has been starving himself too long.  He needed meat back on his bones.

            Jonghyun stared at the bowl of rice in front of him, oblivious to the conversation that was going on around him.  The second time Jonghyun had kissed Seeyang was when she was preparing a bowl of rice for him.  Then, even at the beginning of their relationship, Seeyang had always given him a bit more rice than the others, being the caring person she was.  Jonghyun loved the way their hands would touch when she handed him his rice bowl, a simple skinship that he took forgranted even when he enjoyed it to the fullest.  He missed the how close Seeyang would-

            Jonghyun stood up adruptly and threw his ceramic rice bowl at the hard wooden floor, breaking it into 3 pieces and the rice splattering over the area.  A silence filled the room, as Jonghyun sat back down with his back turned away from the guys. 

            His eyes started to burn as he stared at the broken rice bowl and the splattered rice.  A lump formed in his throat as tears fell from his eyes.  The trio glanced quickly at each other, unsure of what to do.

            “I-I thought that she was going to stay…” said Jonghyun, softly

            “Jonghyun…  We all thought that too.” said Yonghwa.

            “We’d never expect her to just leave without saying goodbye.” said Minhyunk, almost in a whisper.

            “I should have never been so stupid.” said Jonghyun, as his voice began to weaken.

            “Hyung, it’s OK.” said Jungshin, as he patted Jonghyun’s shoulder.

            “We…  We slept together…” said Jonghyun, as the lump in his throat swell, making his voice an octave higer than usual.

            The guys took in what he said.  “Y-You mean, you hit homerun?” asked Yonghwa, worried.

            “Of course!” cried Jonghyun, as tears started to flow.  “That’s why I thought that she would stay for sure!  She told me that she would never sleep with anyone except for her husband on her wedding night!  And, then, she turns around and gave me her ity!  What the hell?!!!”

            “That doesn’t make any sense…” said Yonghwa. “You didn’t provoke her in a any way, did you?”

            “No!” said Jonghyun, as he looked over his shoulder with tear-stained cheeks.  “I would never do that!  I respect her!  It’s just that because she did that…  I thought…  I thought that she would stay by my side if not forever, for at leat a few more years…”

            Jonghyun stood up and got the sweeper and broom.  “Women…” he said, with tears flowing.  “They’re so cruel.”  He cleaned up his mess as he sniffed his nose.

*NOTE:  I know that I haven't updated in a long time...  Just 2 more weeks then I'll be free from my schooling!!  ^^  So please be patient.

This chapter was sad...  But, I hope that this chapter will also shine the light on why Seeyang choose to leave.  She didn't want to be in the way of Jonghyun's chance of getting to be with his ideal woman.

Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter.  :D

LOVE,

loveFORyunho

on 5/1/2011

@ 12:49 PM PST