Present Day

Kyuhyun sat all alone in his apartment; Sugnmin had long gone to sleep. However, Kyuhyun’s mind was a mess since his conversation with his dad earlier.

“Today I saw someone who looked just like him,” he could hear nostalgia and sadness all over his father’s distant voice.

“Dad,” Kyuhyun’s voice was shaky, “I told you I don’t want to talk about him ever again, besides, Siwon deserves better than that.” He finished wiping a single tear that was threatening to fall down.

“I know, dear, I know you love Siwon and he deserves so much, but,” there was a pause for a moment and Kyuhyun held his breath, “it’s okay to miss your first love once in a while, it’s okay to miss your best friend and to worry about him.”

Kyuhyun didn’t say anything, now tears were running down his cheeks freely.

“He looked just like him on the last day I saw him.”

Kyuhyun wondered how did Changmin look the last time his father saw him. He only remembered the last time he had seen him, but he’d rather not think about that; there were better memories from them back then.

Past

“Do you love me?”

“Mhm,” Kyuhyun said looking into the night, the stars were beautiful.

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

And they both stopped walking.

After a few seconds of silence, Kyuhyun turned toward Siwon; he slowly raised his hand to the elder’s face and softly caressed it.

He had liked Siwon for a long time; he was the only guy he had ever liked…but for some reason he just couldn’t say yes.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered before running back to his house.

Siwon just stood there for some minutes. He couldn’t understand what had happened. He and Kyuhyun had always been a team, best friends, they had always liked each other and that moment looked perfect.

On the other hand, Kyuhyun was running desperately toward his house, guilt consuming him.

He only stopped when he ran out of breath, his chest aching and hurting, feeling like it was burning from the inside.

He felt like a coward, but he just couldn’t accept Siwon’s feelings knowing that he wasn’t being a hundred percent sincere with his feelings.

The confused boy sat in the sidewalk in front of his house.  He needed to fix this mess, now.

Present

Kyuhyun was rudely awakened by his roommate the next morning.

“Wake up sleepy head,” Sungmin said while taking off his blanket, “you’re going to be late.”

This was his routine. He was never a morning person, ever.

Groaning he got up from bed and wen straight to the bathroom, not before pushing Sungmin out of the way causing the elder to fall on his .

“Yah! Brat,” he heard Sungmin call as he closed the door, “respect your hyung. You’d always be late if it weren’t for me.”

Chuckling he the radio. He had learned to bathe with music; it was easier for him. Whenever he bathed, his mind ran a thousand miles…it was the perfect place and time to think, but Kyuhyun couldn’t afford to be consumed by hopeless thoughts.

He wondered what he could’ve done in order to change the past.

There was nothing to do.

He was happy now and probably wouldn’t change his life, but his best friend’s fate had been cruel.

He brushed off his thoughts and the shower. The hot water felt relaxing against his skin and for a moment he almost fell back asleep on the shower, but suddenly a song started playing on the radio.

Sing for you

Fate was cruel indeed.

Past

He found himself in front of Changmin’s apartment, wondering if he should knock or not. The moment when Siwon confessed, everything came back at him and hit him.

How he’d drop everything for Changmin, how he couldn’t stop thinking about him, how he got flustered at everything the other said, how he’d found a best friend so quickly, how he worried about the other, how he laughed…

It had been painfully obvious all along and he hadn’t noticed. He kept denying the facts and his feelings. But it had been so weird, so foreign.

He knocked once, trying to control his besting heart. His hands rubbing against his pants in an attempt to stop the sweating.

He just needed confirmation.

A tired Changmin opened the door. He had a bruise on his left cheek and Kyuhyun stood at the door contemplating the view, taking it all in.

How come every time Changmin was absent,  Kyuhyun found him with new bruises?

Without knowing what to do, Kyuhyun jumped toward the other and circled his arms around the taller’s neck.

After a moment, Changmin pushed back, gestured for him to come in and closed the door behind them, “What are you doing here?”

His voice wasn’t cold, he looked so beaten and tired as if he’d been crying.

“Are you okay?” Kyuhyun asked not bothering to answer the other’s question, “Were you crying?”

“Maybe,” Changmin figured it was no use lying to Kyuhyun, in the short time they had known each other, they had come to understand much about each other.

Then Kyuhyun hugged him again, rubbing his hair and telling him it was okay. For some reason Kyuhyun felt that it was maybe too late.

When Changmin pushed back, he looked straight into Kyuhyun’s eyes, his own sparkling with unshed tears.

He leaned in. Softly, very softly, his eyes closed as Kyuhyun’s widened. Then, his lips brushed against the elder’s.

Honestly, Kyuhyun didn’t know what to do. It was his first kiss after all.

When they parted he asked why he’d kissed him, “Because you’re looking at me like that.”

“Like what?” Kyuhyun asked quietly although he already knew the answer, “Like you love me,” replied Changmin sighing.

Kyuhyun gulped, “I do,” he looked around the room nervously, “I love you.”

After that, they shared more nervous kisses, trembling touches, soft whispers and delicate looks.

Their clothes suddenly had disappeared and for a moment Kyuhyun wondered how they had gotten to that position, but it didn’t matter, not when you’re teenagers and you’re in love for the first time.

His body trembled suddenly, “Are you nervous?” Changmin asked, his voice sounded so different now and it sent shivers down Kyuhyun’s spine, but he managed to nod his head.

“I’m nervous too,” the younger said smiling softly and Kyuhyun felt like he was about to explode.

“Why don’t you sing for me?” The question caught him off guard, but he nodded again.

“I’ll sing for you.”

That was the last time Kyuhyun saw him.

His dad saw him that night too; he was the last person to see Changmin.

Present

Later that day he had to make his short presentation about his first love. He went together with Sungmin to the classroom, it was the only class they had together that semester.

When the professor called his name, he took a deep breath and went ahead with his presentation.

“In my case, my first love was filled with butterflies and nervousness, but it was comfortable too and quiet. I didn’t that person too well. I didn’t know that person’s favorite color or favorite food. I didn’t know much about that person’s family, but I knew how that person was feeling just by looking their way. I missed that person, I loved that person because it just that person. I didn’t want to be in a relationship…I didn’t want to be loved, I just wanted to love.

My first love was full of firsts: first kiss, first time, first heartbreak. And now I don’t even know where that person is and I don’t know if I want to see them ever again.

But I will always treasure my first love.”

I will share with you my first love, my last memory of my first love, our moment, our time and space. Somewhere only we know.

“I’ll sing for you, wherever you are,” he poured his heart into the performance and while his classmates clapped, he wiped away his tears and smiled.

Back in his seat, his phone buzzed with a notification.

From: My Siwon <3

Wanna get lunch? I’ll pay :*

To: My Siwon <3

Duh, you’ll pay or else we’ll just starve haha

From: My Siwon <3

You’re mean :’(

To: My Siwon <3

Only for you <3

I fell in love again and I got to have many other firsts and this love is equally strong even though I know this person, I know everything about them.

Whereas my first love hit me in a second without me noticing, my second love walked toward me and we’ve walked a beautiful path of experiences and growth, together.

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AN// KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'm so sorry for not updating in so long and omg I feel like this update isn't even worth the wait. I want to thank you all for subscribing and for your comments, really thank you. I didn't expect this story to have much subscribers and it has been really hard for me to come up with a story that you'll like but that would keep the main idea I had for it. Anyways, here it is...I think it's just missing one more chapter and then it's done. I hope you keep reading till the end. Please comment haha

Oh, and the song I'm refering to in the story is Sing for you from EXO.