My Heart's Joy14

I long for days like today, 

You and me, together.

I belong for a day like today, 

You and me, forever. 

I am happy, 

When I am with you. 

You are happy,  

When you are with me. 

Her cellphone rang.  

She was so drowsy and was just about to fall asleep, when she thought she heard her cellphone. She didn't want to pick-up, but it kept on ringing. 

Dream, 

To fall to Neverland. 

Dream, 

To fall to Wonderland. 

Irritably, she picked up her phone and looked at the caller and whispered in a drowsy voice, "Hello.".

Hello, 

A welcome greeting. 

Hello, 

A warm greeting. 

She wished she could have a brewed coffee just about then. 

Coffee, 

The smell of comfort. 

Coffee, 

The taste of comfort. 

Jaejoong answered , "Sweetheart." 

A sweet voice, 

That tickles her ear. 

A nice voice, 

That caresses her ear. 

He asked, "Are you having your lunch?" 

She hummed, and said, "What is that? It sounds familiar." She held the phone more comfortably on her ear and closed her eyes, answered him, "About to sleep.".

He asked, "But babe, isn't it lunch time? Have you had your lunch already? That was quick." 

She yawned, and answered, " Nope, I was planning to sleep, and maybe later have some cracker or something." 

Concerned, he spoke, "Sweetheart, I don't know if you even had your breakfast, and you got a whole day schedule today. You shouldn't miss your meals." 

What could she say, she knew what he was saying but her body was not cooperating. With a sigh, she spoke, "I'm too sleepy and too tired to move right now." 

 He suddenly thought of an idea, and spoke, "Why don't I send over some food." 

Worried, 

About you. 

Worried, 

For you. 

She wanted to sleep, but he's still on the phone. She whispered, "By the time it gets here, it will be time for my next class." 

He could only call her, "Sweetheart." He did not know what to say. 

She wanted to voice her concern, "Do you think that is all? I'm too busy for my own good that I don't even have time to do my laundry or buy my groceries."  She was wide awake now.

I want to look after you, 

I want to do more for you. 

I want to take care of you, 

I need to do more for you. 

He suggested,  "Why don't you have it done by a laundry shop and order online what you need and then have it delivered." 

Sound so simple, but with a sigh she answered, "I want to wash my own clothes and I don't like strangers handling my clothes. I get your point about ordering online, but by the time I get home it's already late, and I just want to go straight to bed. I have a crazy schedule and it's killing me. Next sem, I need to concentrate only on music and I would have to take the other courses next time. I can't take the full load, because it will be more major subjects, and 24/7 seems not enough, just not enough time." 

 I wish I could do it for you, 

Take the load off for you. 

I wish I could be there for you, 

Carry the load off for you. 

He understood what she meant, but it didn't stop him from worrying. He wished he could do more for her. He gently spoke, "I don't want you to get sick, you're running on fumes." 

She smiled, comforted by his words, "This is one of those days that  I wish you're a normal boyfriend and I could ask you to do things for me. And, that you're right beside me right now coxing me to eat or carry my stuff and such." With a sigh, she continued speaking, "Do you know that I carry my guitar and sometimes even with my violin to school? And to think that my bag alone is already heavy. Oh, by the way, it just came to me, could I borrow a bag? The strap of my bag is about to give, and I don't have another bag to use. I'd go and buy one when I get some free time." 

You work so hard, 

To achieve your dream.

You are tired, 

Most of the time. 

Time, 

There is not enough hour in a day. 

Do not falter, 

Continue on your journey. 

Do not let the pressure defeat you, 

Rather, use it to make yourself stronger. 

Practice and practice some more, 

Practice is not merely practice, 

It's a foundation of your tomorrow. 

Let your fingers play your song, 

Play with all your heart, 

Play with all determination. 

Your song, 

Your beat, 

Your rhythm. 

You're the only one, 

With this dream. 

You're the only one, 

On this path. 

You're the only one, 

On this road. 

Music is freedom, 

Music is life,

Music, your dream,

Music, your color,

Music, your world.

Writer's note: Jan. 6, 2017  

My Heart's Joy14-2

All this time he was sitting on the black coach while he was talking to her. He did not have any plan for the day. They just got back from a series of concerts in Japan and everyone was taking the day off. 

And here he was talking to his girlfriend. He was not the only one with a killer schedule, and his girlfriend was equally or much more busy than him. 

He knew from the very beginning how busy she was, but he still continued to pursue her. He couldn't believe someone could be busier than him. 

Let us not pass the day, 

Allow time to hold it's hand.

Let us not end the day, 

Stop time and hold it's hand.

"A  bag? Sure. Do you have something particular in mind?" He asked.

She was pondering for a moment,  and from her fetal position on the floor of the music practice room, she turned to her back to  straightened her position and while she looked at the ceiling,  she said, "It doesn't have to be fancy or one of your expensive bags, but it has to be comfortable and durable especially the straps, because besides the books and notebooks, I take my small laptop with me, and also I can fit a folder for my projects and essays. Since I am using a backpack, I think it's the best option for me. A few pockets will be appreciated."

Let me pamper you, 

Even just a little. 

Let me take care of you, 

Even just a little. 

He's thinking of all the bags in his closet, which one  would be suitable for her, and the possibility of buying a new one instead. He was just making sure he covered all his options. With a hum he said, "A backpack, alright, got it. And, tell me what you need for your groceries and I will get it for you."

She couldn't help it and said, "Wait, I did not mention it implying for you to buy it for me."

I'm tired, 

What I want is you. 

I'm tired, 

What I need is you.

If he could help her, he'd feel useful, "I want to do this for you at least." 

She was having second thoughts and did not want to overstep his kindness, because she was already borrowing a bag, and said, "Nah, never mind. I'll just buy it when I have some free time." 

I wish, 

I can be with you. 

I wish,

I can cuddle with you.

His thought, 'What is she thinking? It's the best solution. Maybe she's sensitive about me spending money. I'm volunteering, what could be a problem with a boyfriend buying stuff for his girlfriend?  Maybe, she thinks that I am sensitive about money? This is something to think about.' He tried to convince her, "Babe, if we do this you solved one of your problems and you can concentrate with your school studies with less worries. Your boyfriend is here to extend a helping hand. I have free time to do it today. Or I can order online or ask someone to shop for me."

What to do, 

With a girl like you.

What to do,

With someone like you.

Her thought, 'He does have a point, he is my boyfriend after all, and it's not a crime to ask him to do it. It's just a small favor anyway.' With a sigh, 'Alright, I'll be thick skinned about this.' She found it amusing. "One condition, you're the one to buy it, right?" She was waiting for his response. 

For awhile, 

Forget your problems.

For awhile, 

Forget my problems.

He was glad and thought, "Alright, I got her to agree.' And then spoke, "Of course, tell me what you need." 

 She was thinking of the things she needed, and spoke, "I need a whole lot of things, you better write it down." 

He spoke, "I was just thinking the same thing, wait a sec and let me get a pen and paper." 

 Rest your weary soul, 

Find comfort with me. 

Rest my weary soul, 

Find comfort with you.

He got up and went to the table where he kept pens and papers. 

List, 

Of your weary, 

List, 

Of your story.  

He spoke while he was walking, "I haven't had my lunch yet, and I will eat when I go out. A hot bowl of noodles sounds good." 

Food, 

Sit right beside me.

Food, 

Share it with me.

She could picture him eating in a secluded area with a few friends. She said,  "Yeah, keep warm, that's good. Have some meat, too. You need to recover your strength and stamina." Then she remembered something, "Oh, by the way, I did not know the temperature is going to drop tonight and I am only wearing a sweatshirt. Could I borrow a jacket or a winter coat?" 

He almost reached the table, and his walk slowed, and he thought, 'It's going to be cold, and she might get sick.' He asked, "Do you want me to send it to you right now? I can have someone meet with you." 

Fly with your wings,

Spread it comfortably.

Dream with your wings,

Soar high comfortably.

As she looked at her watch, she was estimating how much time was left in her break, and asked, "I have only an hour left, so when can you send it? You know my schedule. I am going to turn my cellphone off. The next time I'm turning it on is at 5pm for .2 hours break, and then I have practice, in which I am turning my cellphone off again, and then it will be by 10pm when I turn it on again." 

Time, 

A short take of breath.

Time,

A fast take of breath.

As he reached the table, he opened a drawer to take out some papers and a pen, he paused as he did a fast thinking, and said, "My manager, Mr. Jeong is with me right now, and he can bring the coat and meet with you. He can be there before your class starts." 

She was pondering it over, and came out with different scenarios, and it did not feel right,  'That was fast. I am already cold or maybe I am just a little sensitive right now.' With a sigh, she said, "I am already saying thank you, but that's too dangerous, because we don't want a scandal. How about 5:30pm through delivery? The one hour is too close for comfort. I can wait in front of the canteen." 

A little care, 

Slowly we must take it.

A lot of care,

Patiently we must take it.

He wanted her to have the coat as soon as possible, but the time constraint to bring it to her was too limiting. With a sigh he took out a notepad and a pen, and closed the drawer. He then walked back to the coach. 

He had to agree, "Alright, I'll have it delivered by 5:30pm. Do you want the backpack with it, too?" 

Simple things, 

I want to give it to you.

Spacial things,

I want to give it to you.

She was picturing herself with all the load she already had with a coat on plus the extra empty backpack, and it's not a good picture. The way she was already feeling tired any extra load would be too much.

She instead said, "I think the bag can wait." 

As he sat down, he answered, "Alright then, I'll arrange it. Okay, I'm all set, tell me what grocery items you'd need."

Tell me, 

I am your every thing.

Tell me, 

I am your everything.

As she thought of all the things she needed, she spoke, "Ready? It's a lot."

He said, "Yap."

She spoke, "Sorry about this, and thank you. I'm about to run out on shampoo, conditioner, skin lotion, facial moisturizer, body wash, lip moisturizer, oh not the gloss with flavors but a real moisturizer, because my lips are dry and starting to crack." She paused for a moment still was thinking of anything else she might need. "Oh, could you get me a pair of gloves? I only have a pair right now, and I've been using it everyday." 

Noted in my heart,

Every thing.

Noted in my heart,

Everything.

As he looked over the list, he said, "Do you have any particular brand that you prefer for these items or do you want me to wing it?" 

All I can do is try, 

To lighten your burden.

All I can do is try, 

To help carry your burden.

She answered, "Wing it, I'd like to see which ones you'd choose. " 

 With a smile, and he was taking it as a challenge, already was thinking of possible brands, he said, "I can get these stuff today. How and when am I going to bring it to you?" 

I love you, let me love you, 

Not just in words.

I want you, let me want you, 

Not just in words.

I love you, allow me to love you, 

Not just in words.

I need you, let me need you, 

Not just in words.

As her schedule flashed in her mind, she said, "I have a late practice today, hmmm." She was estimating the time, "How about 10pm? You can have someone bring it over to my place." 

He said, "I know you practice that late."

With a tiny pout, she answered, "That's early, I begged off for a rest." 

Rest, 

Sound simple.

Rest,

So impossible.

The silence spoke volume, and she could feel it. As if he wanted to say something, but was thinking how and what to say.

I hear you,

Your silence speaks to me.

I hear you, 

Your silence talks to me. 

As he scratched his forehead, he understood her situation very well, he'd been there before when he was a trainee he knew the feeling, practiced for hours, but it did not stop him from worrying again, because she's a girl out late at night. 

Again, he thought of her not eating, it just not sit well with him. He asked, "What about if I arrange for someone to bring food for lunch and dinner?" 

Let my action,

Speak to you.

Let my action, 

Speak for me.

Again, he's back to food, as she was shaking her head, "I'm too tired to eat these days, and I don't even know what I would want to eat." 

 He couldn't help but say, "This is just not right. You should eat. How can you have energy to practice and study if you don't eat? How can you even think straight?" 

Let me, 

Please, let me, 

To love you, like I can. 

Allow me, 

Please, allow me, 

To love you like I can.

Permit me, 

Please, permit me, 

To love you like I can.

She couldn't deny it, "I know, right? But sometimes my friends bring some food, so I get to eat, too." 

He responded, "I bet, not on a regular basis." And hissed, "You fool. You'll develop ulcer the way you're going." 

My heart ache, 

Worrying about you.

My mind ache, 

Thinking about you.

She thought, "He's pissed  for sure, he called me 'fool'". And she said, "This will soon be over." 

He needed to do something, because this couldn't go on like this, and said, "Why don't we meet for dinner? I'll have someone cook whatever you'll like to eat." 

Best, 

I want all the best for you.

Best, 

I wish all the best for you.

Her thought, 'Dinner, hmmm, when was the last time I had a good dinner? Seems like ages ago.' Instead she said, "By the end of the day, all I want is to go to sleep." 

He felt bad, and said, "Sweetheart, please, you really, I mean really need to eat. I just can't let you go on like this. Please, let me, I need to do this for you." 

She whispered, "I don't know." 

He spoke sincerely, "Honey, come on."

Silence.

Then he said, "Please, do it for me." 

That did it for her, how could she say no to that.  

Writer's note: Posted Jan. 24, 2017

Dear Jaejoong, I am glad that you had finished your military service and came back to us healthy and in good spirit. Congratulations on your first concert. Hug. 

Next is part 3. 

My Heart's Joy14-3

 Long days ahead, 

Busy days for you.

Long days ahead, 

Busy days for me. 

My free time, 

Belongs to you. 

Your  free time, 

Belongs to me. 

Spend a simple day, 

Like today.

Spend a precious day, 

Like today. 

She graciously gave in, "Alright. Alright. You win." 

He deeply thought, ' t is not a matter of winning, but I'll fight you for your own good, because your health should be a priority.'  He thought of possible foods that she could like and asked, "What would you like to eat? Pasta?  Pizza? Noodles? Japanese food? Grilled beef? Fried chicken?" 

Gather your energy, 

Stay healthy.

Summon your energy, 

Remain healthy. 

She contemplated on what he said, and she didn't like anything he suggested. She asked herself if she could have something to eat, what will it be. And a picture flashed in her mind.  She spoke, "You know what, I had been hankering for something, but kept postponing it, because I was too busy." 

He got curious, and asked, "What is it?" 

She whispered, "A delicious boiled chicken." She groaned, "I've been salivating for a whole thigh part." 

He thought of a whole boiled chicken with a savoury broth, "That is good for you. It'll give you energy. Maybe, it's your body reminding you what you need to eat. Alright, boiled chicken, and how about some eel?" 

Breathe in, 

Muster your health.

Breathe out, 

Guard your health.

Her appetite at it's lowest, she didn't think she could eat a lot, and said, "I don't know." 

He suggested some more, "Salmon? Prawns?" 

With a groaned sigh, she said, "Oh, salmon! Prawns! Sounds delish, even just the very thought of it." 

With a pleased nod, he said, "Okay, I'll have some prepared." 

She cautioned him, "Please, don't prepare too much, because I really can't eat a lot. And simple dishes would be the best. How about grilling it? No spicy food either. I can't handle spicy food, right now.  The way I am too tense, I think my inside is already swollen and full of acid. I am so tired that I don't think I could even lift the chopsticks. And, I dare not wash my hands." 

Don't worry, 

I have everything on hand.

Don't worry, 

I got everything in hand.

He answered her, "Don't worry about it. I'll have everything prepared. How about some desert?" 

There were already a lot of food, she probably could not eat a bite more, and said, "No, no desert." 

Surprised, he said, "What? You? No desert? Now, babe." 

Seemed so simple, her usual self would demand desert, but she's just not herself right now. She said, "I just can't even go there." 

Let me pamper you, 

Taking care of you.

Let me indulge you, 

Looking after you.

He sighed with frustration, and thought, 'This fool really pushed herself too much.' And he spoke,  and tried to reasure her, "Okay, don't worry about it, and I'll handle everything." 

She thought, 'Maybe, it'll be good to have some fruits, why not.' And said, "Oh, maybe some fresh fruits?" 

He thought, 'Fruits? Okay, instead of her usual sweets, these are better for her.' And asked, "Do you have any particular in mind?" 

After she contemplated on it for a minute, she said, "Not really, maybe banana? Pears? Maybe something in season." 

He took note, and said, "Got it." 

Peace be with you, 

Let me comfort you. 

Peace be with me, 

Let you comfort me.

She suddenly thought of some things she wanted, and said, "Oh, could you buy me some red bean buns? Three would do, no more than that. Hmmm, some individually wrapped mini chocolates that I could take with me. Oh, some soda crackers, too." 

 Let us be glad for today, 

Loving you today and everyday.

Let us be happy for today.

Loving me today and everyday. 

 Writer's note: Posted Jan. 28, 2017

A very short update because I wanted to greet Jaejoong.

Dear JJ, Happy Happy Birthday!! Love you lots and lots. (Tight huggles, sharing a mango cheesecake with brewed coffee)