The most uncomfortable dinner EVER.

It started with Tae Woong saying he wanted to introduce his girlfriend. Dating his surgeon, how cool is that? He's just not an ordinary person.

When I arrived, however, Shi Won was sitting there next to an empty spot meant for me. I felt all life drain out the soles of my feet. She smiled almost apologetically at me, sensing my discomfort.

Tae Woong was oblivious. He stood and introduced the attractive doctor next to him. I gave what I hope was an appropriate response.

"Why are you here?" I asked Shi Won quietly as I sat down.

"Because she's your girlfriend." Tae Woong answered, amused. Oh if he only knew...

"Oh! Such a cute couple!" The beautiful doctor gushed.

I imagined that by this time my face resembled that of a person suffering from an especially bad bout of constipation. Shi Won noticed and mouthed a silent "sorry" to me before she corrected my brother.

"I told you it wasn't like that." She scolded. "He's not man enough for me."

Tae Woong laughed, sure that he knew she was lying.

"Not man enough?!" I was offended.

She stuck her tongue out at me. 

After dinner, Shi Won walked along the dark sidewalk with me.

"Thanks." I said quietly. 

"For what? Stop being a moron and call Joon Hee."

I sighed. Yeah right. Like that was going to happen.

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I got a text daily from Shi Won telling me to call Joon Hee. Easy for her to say. 

Sometimes I found myself wishing I'd stuck with her. It must surely be better than being in this state of confusion and regret.

"You kissed him. You have to take responsibility for it." She scolded me over the phone one night. 

" Darnit , Shi Won. I don't want to talk about this--"

"He's liked you for so long. You can't just go and kiss him and then ignore him forever. If you like him, then go for it."

First Joon Hee and now her? Why are people who say they like me trying to push me away?! Am I seriously that unpleasant to love??

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I got tired of her nagging me. I invited Joon Hee out for drinks. There was no way I could meet his eyes if I was sober. 

He was absolutely the same person he'd always been. How did he manage that? I was feeling horribly awkward and off balance. But there he was acting like his best friend had never kissed him.

We chatted about work. He asked about my promotion. I asked about the hospital. He asked how Tae Woong was doing. I told him about Tae Woong's girlfriend. He already knew. Figures. 

We ran out of things to talk about. Eventually it was bound to come around to the topic of "us". 

"Shi Won won't leave me alone. She keeps telling me to call you." I complained.

"I'm sorry. I didn't ask her to do that."

"I know that, stupid."

He smiled at me. I drank some more, disappointed that I was still sober enough to be embarrassed by the thought of the kiss.

"Can I ask?" He started a bit timidly. 

"Ask what?"

He captured his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment before forcing himself to answer with a question.

"Why did you kiss me?"

I wasn't sure how to answer. I did what I do best--turned it around to make it someone else's fault.

"Why didn't you kiss me?" I asked.

"You're dating Shi Won." He reminded me, again.

"She doesn't want to anymore."

"I'm sorry."

"Are you going to do something about it?"

"I'll talk to her--"

"She thinks I like you."

Those beautiful eyes of his widened. "Because you kissed me?"

"I guess. I don't really know."

"I know you don't. I'll tell her--"

"How do you know what I'm feeling?" I challenged him, the alcohol giving me strength. It may have been a bad idea.

"I know you, Yoon Jae." His gentle voice said.

"You and Shi Won are my best friends. Joon Hee, if you were a woman I would have believed you when you told me you liked me."

He looked away. Embarrassed? Sad?

"But I'm not." He said barely above a whisper.

"Is that why you didn't kiss me?"

"Just forget it, Yoon Jae."

Ugh! This was @#!*% me off! I stood and found I'd had more to drink than I thought. I stumbled a bit before laying money on the table and heading toward the exit. Joon Hee being the good friend, followed me. He caught my arm each time I stumbled as I made my way home.

He was silent on the way to the apartment we'd shared for years. He came in with me and forced a glass of water on me. I drank it as I watched him. He made his way to the living room. I had a second glass of water before walking in after him.

Joon Hee was standing in front of the picture--just like Shi Won had done the last time she was in the room. I stepped up close behind him and back hugged him, just like I had in the picture. Unlike the picture, he felt tense in my embrace.

I followed his gaze up at the picture and nearly fell over. Why hadn't I noticed what that Shi Won had done?!

The picture had a red heart drawn on the glass with lipstick. Our smiling faces were captured within the heart.

Writing this made me smile. hehe.

I swear my number of views went down. Isn't that impossible? How can one unsee something? I wish I could unsee some things! lol

I'm debating on how long to drag this story out. I want to make sure to take enough time to convey just what these boys are going thru. But I don't want to get boring.