I had to let go. I had to go to work and take my promotion test. Joon Hee had already agreed to have dinner with me. I would see him later today. But, would I be able to touch him like this? Was that my goal? AAAAHHH! Why was everything so hard?!

I released him, finally. He didn't even look at me, he just left. 

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Shi Won ambushed met me in my office for lunch. We went out to eat. She was talking, but I wasn't really listening to her ramble. I sorta felt bad about it, but not enough to stop. 

"Yah!" She finally snapped. "Are you even listening to me?"

"What? Yes!" I insisted, suddenly paying unnatural  interest in my food. She watched me skeptically for a moment before finding her own food fascinating. 

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I picked Joon Hee up from the hospital later that night. We had a nice dinner out. I think the awkward silence was only in my own head. He was his usual self with the easy smile and kind eyes. If he was a girl, he'd be....well....gorgeous, I guess. Shi Won was pretty but she lacked the softness that Joon Hee had. No, that doesn't sound right. Joon Hee wasn't soft and feminine--neither was Shi Won! He was...comfortable. No, no. Not that either. Shi Won was comfortable. She had always been there. She had helped me thru my parents' death. She was comfortable like her parents were comfortable. Family. Joon Hee was...what was he? 

"Yoon Jae." The sound of my name brought me out of my thoughts.

"Huh?" 

"What are you thinking so hard about?" He grinned. "Shi Won?"

"No way!" Why was he always pushing me towards her? "Hey, come to the apartment later."

"Why?" He looked a little confused.

"You left something behind."

"What did I forget?" He looked even more confused now--probably mentally running thru a list of his belongings.

I smiled, knowing I was a sneaky jerk.

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In the apartment, we removed our shoes. He turned to me immediately.

"Where is it?" He glanced around for a clue.

"Close your eyes."

I took the time to steel myself. I needed to do this. I had to try, otherwise I would never know. I would forever wonder. This was difficult--even more than when I kissed Shi Won at school--before she liked me. 

He was standing there, eyes closed, waiting. His lips looked like a girl's--full and soft. I took a final deep breath and leaned forward.

The moment my lips connected with his, Joon Hee's eyes shot open and he shoved me away. He stared at me with what might have been fear. 

"Yoon Jae!!" His voice was no longer gentle. "What are you doing?!"

It was the situation with Shi Won all over again. I had kissed her and she had hated it. But she hadn't liked me at the time. Joon Hee liked me. Why was kissing me such a problem? 

"What's wrong with it?" I was the calm one for once.

"I'm a guy and you're dating Shi Won! You can't just kiss me like that!"

"Why not?" I was losing my patience. "What if I'm not dating Shi Won? Can I kiss you then?"

"Yoon Jae." He stared at me in total loss. "What are you talking about?"

I stepped toward him, resting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I know you like me."

I didn't think it was possible, but his eyes got wider. He looked away. 

"You told me once and I was such an idiot that I thought you were joking. Why didn't you just tell me--"

"Yoon Jae, no." He was looking at me again, his voice firm. "We're friends. I have to go home now. I have work in the morning. I'll see you later."

I watched the door close behind him. That hadn't gone anything like I had expected. If he liked me, why was he so adamant about pushing me away? Was I such a horrible person that loving me was a bad thing?

Sorry for the long delay. I'm back to work and the kids are back to school. Updates might be a bit slower these days, but who knows. I'm so unpredictable. =P

I was really nervous about this chapter. I hope I captured the characters correctly.