Hospital shifts were so long. I wouldn't be able to see Joon Hee until some time tomorrow afternoon. It was far too long for me. I wonder if he felt the same way. Probably not. He's much more patient than I am.

An idea was forming in my head and I wasn't sure if it was a good or bad one. That happens to me a lot. My idea was to take on the burden of revealing my relationship with Joon Hee, by myself. I know Joon Hee would want to be there with me, but he worries so much about it. It would be better if he wasn't there. Never one for sitting around and thinking things thru, I decided my idea was a good one.

I met Tae Woong at his place for dinner. I figured if I was going to go out on a limb like that, I should at least get a free meal out of it. Being with Joon Hee--being his boyfriend, was one leap of faith after another. I needed free food to keep up the energy required.

He started the conversation with work and quickly steered it towards Shi Won.

"Have you talked to Shi Won lately?"

"She stopped in the other morning. We had breakfast together." I was starting to get nervous.

"Good!" Tae Woong obviously thought this was a good sign for our nonexistent relationship. "When are you two going to get serious?"

"Listen...We tried dating but it didn't work out."

"Because you're a clueless jerk?" He grinned at me. Yeah, so funny.

"It just didn't work, okay?"

"Okay. But, is there any hope you two can work things out?" He finally sensed my seriousness.

"No. We're better as friends."

"Does Shi Won feel that way, too?"

"I guess so." Wrong answer!

"You guess so?" He raised his eyebrows. "You really are a clueless jerk."

"I'm dating some one else!" I blurted. "Shi Won knows about it and she's okay with it--with us. Shi Won and I are friends."

"Someone else?" He stared at me, forgetting his food. "Are you trying to make her jealous? That hardly ever works, Yoon Jae--"

"No." I told him firmly. "She even had a part in us getting together. If anything, she didn't really want to date me." Doing what I do best, again--blaming others! It's a gift.

"Really?" He asked skeptically. "Who is she and when do I get to meet her?"

I picked at my food a bit before answering. Oh courage, where art thou??

"Why?"

"Why?" He repeated, amused. "Because I want to meet my little brother's special person! That's what big brothers do, you know. I'll bring my girlfriend and we can go out on a double date."

"Oh I really don't think that's a good idea--"

"It sounds like fun! Is Shi Won seeing someone also? Maybe they'd like to come along. Does thursday work for you--"

"It's Joon Hee!" I blurted out, immediately turning red and staring down at my food.

"Well that makes sense." Tae Woong nodded. "They've been close for years--"

"Tae Woong," I sighed. "I'm dating Joon Hee."

He dropped his fork. I winced as the metal clattered against the table top. Complete silence followed. I was too scared to look up at him.

"What?" He asked before going silent again for a moment--what felt like a long moment. "So that kiss...the other night...you two...?"

"Yes." I said shortly, though I'm not exactly sure what I was saying yes about. 

"But..."

I finally looked up at him. He wore complete and utter shock on his face. 

"I...I didn't know." Why did he look guilty now? "I didn't know you were...gay."

"You're not the only one. I didn't know it, either." 

"How long...?" He couldn't seem to form coherent sentences any more.

"Not long, but I really like him, Tae Woong. Shi Won supports us. I hope you do, too." Talking about Joon Hee seemed to give me some strength. I did really like him. I loved him. 

"I'm your brother. I will always have your back." I could tell his words were sincere. "Joon Hee is a very nice guy. My only concern is--"

"Yes, I know. Society won't go easy on us. Friends won't accept us. I'm a little worried what our friends will say and do. I'm worried about what Shi Won's parents will say--"

"My only concern is that Joon Hee could do so much better." Tae Woong interrupted. 

I was glad I had finished eating, otherwise I would have choked. If I did, I don't know if my brother would save me or not. 

That devil Tae Woong grinned at me. Jerk. 

And I started to laugh.