Sometimes you just want to stay asleep.

            Especially if you've lost the one you love the most. Especially if every breath you take hurts the people you care most about.

            You just want to stay asleep forever.

            "I hope you die, Eric."

            As I floated through the clouds of my dreams, my past life flashed before me like a strip of black-and-white movie. With a faint smile, I watched the film of my happy days fade into the sad and tragic. I had run dry of tears from the lonely hours I had spent crying for myself. I was done with it all: the excruciating pain, the unlivable torture, the crushing heartache.

            I was finally done with living. I had no energy left to continue my appalling story.

            "Eric."

            I heard his voice and suddenly the sky cleared. There was a blazing light overhead that hindered me from opening my eyes.

            "Eric."

            I wondered why he called me a second time. With his personality, he must have been pretty desperate for my attention to waste his breath to say my name more than once. I knew better than to keep him waiting.

            "Eric... Please..."

            His voice sounded different as he called me the third time. My name was but a melody, a sad minor, a strained tune that made my heart constrict. Something within me stirred, perhaps the dormant strength I had always kept hidden, and I forced my lids open to face the scorching sun.

            "Hyesung..."

            His face was the first thing I saw. He was looking over me and I could have easily mistaken the beautiful man for an angel if I had not been so acquainted with his lovely features. His expression was full of worry, but my lips could not stop from cracking a smile. The movement made me realize how sore my face was.

            "Ow..." My vision shook violently as I tried to sit up. A sharp pain shot through my brain. "What happened?" I groaned in agony.

            Hyesung crossed his arms in front of me. "Dongwan knocked you out. You've been snoozing since."

            I moaned as the memory came back and I was struck with embarrassment. "Ugh. How long?"

            "An hour? Maybe more. I was starting to get worried about your weak ."

            I pouted, rubbing a sore spot on my face. My cheek was definitely bruised. "Where's the damn bastard?"

            "If you're talking about Dongwan, he left after beating you up. Minwoo chased after him and they never came back," Hyesung explained with a sigh. He gently my injury. "Are you alright?"

            "I'm fine," I replied quickly, still not overly excited about the fact that I had been knocked out cold in one shot. "Hey," I started carefully as I reached up to my face to gather his tending hand. I held it with my own as if it was much more valuable than the world. "Are you okay?"

            "Why wouldn't I be?" His tone was casual, but his eyes avoided looking into mine.

            I hesitated, remembering the words Dongwan had spoken that still did not make sense to me. "About... Jinne..."

            I caught Hyesung stiffening at the familiar name. "It's not true," he whispered.

            "But Dongwan said he--"

           "It's not, okay?" Hyesung snapped, silencing me. Then he softened and embraced me. "I know Choongjae would never do that. I believe in him."

            I marveled at his confidence and faith, slightly feeling ashamed for thinking the worst. "We'll find Jinnie. I promise you, Hyesung."

            We'll find him. Dead or alive.

            "I know we will," Hyesung replied with outstanding poise and assurance that helped me believe that our dongseng was truly still breathing somewhere.

            "Oh, Eric," he suddenly said with a frown as if he had just remembered something important, "you should call Minwoo back."

            "Minwoo? He called?"

            "Yeah," Hyesung nodded. He reached for my phone on the table, then quickly stopped himself midair. "Many times, actually. He's probably worried."

            "Yeah," I agreed. I extended a hand to grab my smart phone. The screen marked eight missed calls. "Damn, he did call a lot."

            I dialed Minwoo's number. He answered on the second ring.

            "Hello? Eric?"

            "Hey," I said awkwardly. I was still tongue-tied while calling him after going missing for so many years.

            "Are you alright? Why didn't you pick up?"

            "I was knocked out," I said with annoyance as I rubbed my jaw where it still stung.

            There was brief silence. "Why didn't Hyesung pick up?"

            That made me look up at the man my hair. "Well, you can't hear him, right?"

            "I know I can't. But if there was at least silence on your end, I would've caught on that he was listening."

            Hyesung must have heard some of Minwoo's words because he froze and bit down on his lower lip nervously. "I... I don't know why he didn't pick up," I answered, my eyes still watching my lover intently.

            "Well, anyway, I just needed to tell him something." I quickly got the hint and put the phone on speaker. "About what Dongwan said... It's not entirely true. Please let Hyesung know that."

            "What do you mean, 'it's not entirely true'?" I asked in confusion.

            "Choongjae... He attempted suicide a year after you left. It didn't go public though. Apparently, Andy was the one behind hushing the media with a few expensive bribes. I only found out through Dongwan. Then he disappeared. I tried to find him but I got nothing. Dongwan reckons he succeeded in killing himself the second time around. I don't believe that though. It's been almost four years since he went missing, but I really don't believe that Jinnie is gone... At least, not like this..."

            Hyesung and I exchanged looks. So, there was hope after all.

            Junjin might be alive somewhere. We just had to find him.

            "Please... Eric, tell Hyesung that Jinnie's not dead. And I know Dongwan's really pissed off at you right now. He had it really hard after you left, trying to piece together what was left of Shinhwa. Then Choongjae disappeared and he just... gave up. It was the first time I saw him so discouraged and broken. But still, I know he'll come around. And we'll make sure he knows that both Jinnie and Hyesung are alive."

            The certainty in his words watered the little sprout of faith within me. "Yeah," I said with a newly grown confidence.

            "Well, I'm going to go talk some sense into that bastard. I'll try to bring him by your place later."

            "Alright. Just make sure you tie his hands down though. I don't want him to greet me with his fist again."

            "Yeah, sorry about that," he replied although I noticed that he didn't sound all that apologetic. "I'll see you soon."

            "Okay. Bye."

            Minwoo hung up without a farewell. I listened to the silence on the other line, trying to sort out all the information I had just learned.

            When the quiet in the room stretched on for far too long, Hyesung spoke up, "We need to find Jinnie."

            "Well, that's a given," I told him with a small grin. "We'll find him, Hyesung. You trust me, right?"

            My words were intended to comfort him so I was stunned to find tears welling up in his lovely brown hues. "I trust you, Eric. You know I do," he murmured in a trembling voice.

            "It has to be destiny," I remarked as I wrapped my arms around him. "You came back so I know Jinnie will come back, too. Just give it some time."

            To my dismay, I felt his frail body shaking uncontrollable in my embrace. "E-Eric..." he whimpered in such a way that made my heart plummet to my stomach.

            "Hyesung, what's wrong?" I asked in panic. He sunk down into the sofa next to me and placed his head inside his hands, covering his sweet face garnished with wet streaks.

            "We don't have time, Eric."

            My mind could not comprehend his words, but chills ran down my spine, paralyzing me.

            "What... What do you mean?" I barely managed to choke out.

            Hyesung didn't seem to hear me, lost in a world of alarming trepidation. "We have to find, Choongjae... I have to see him... I have to see him before--"

            I waited for him to finish his sentence, but he remained silent as if he had been put on mute. Unsteadily, I peeled his hands away from his face so our eyes could meet. Wide pupils dilated in fear and anxiety stared back at me.

            "Eric--" he started then stopped himself. With a deep intake of breath, he moved his arm to my side as if the action would speak better than words at this point.

            At first, I thought he was going to touch my hand, but instead, he reached for my phone that rested on my lap. His thin finger pressed onto the screen of the device.

            Or rather, his finger should have touched the surface of the android.

            The nerves on my thigh tingled from an unexpected delicate sensation. It felt as if something cold was gently poking my leg.

            Finally, it dawned on me like an avalanche. Something was touching my leg.

            "H-Hyesung... Your finger... Going through the phone..." My language sounded all broken as if my voice was a damaged tape recorder attempting to play a ruined cassette.

            "We don't have time, Eric," Hyesung repeated himself solemnly as he withdrew his hand. This time, I felt his icy fingers lace through mine with an urgent sense of desperation. I couldn't help but tighten my hold on him, unable to get rid of the horrific premonition that it was only a matter of time before it was my turn for his touch to evaporate into an unobtainable dream.

[A/N]: I'm backkk!!! I hope you guys liked this chapter! If you're confused, everything in this chapter will be explained further in the next chapter~ (plus, this chap's not yet edited so please pardon the mistakes TT) I'm still working on the other fanfics (and having terrible, terrible writer's block TT) so I deeply apologize and hope you guys can be patient a little bit longer >.< Just wanted to let you guys know that I'm still writing for you guys no matter how delayed my updates are! And your support really gives me so much strength! Please continue commenting and upvoting, it really means the world to me to get some feedback! Thanks for continuing to stick with me and my writing, love you guys!!! <3