“Hi, Hyesung. I brought you roses.”

            I breathed in his silence and smiled.

            “Sorry I couldn’t visit for a while. It's been so hectic, but at least we ended up finishing the recording. Minwoo seemed pretty satisfied. Our title track is This Love, I dedicate it to you of course.”

            I casted the scarlet bouquet aside and took the liberty to lie down next to him on the soft green grass. With my legs outstretched and my eyes facing the cloudless sky, I felt so at peace, my built-up stress fleeing quickly. My lover’s presence always had such a soothing effect.

            “How are you?”

            The gentle spring breeze was his reply. I raised my hand to shield myself from the sun, only to be distracted by a silver twinkle on my finger.

            “I will love you forever. I will be yours and yours alone forever.”

            His promise then, words deeply engraved into my soul, was what my heart latched onto, my lone raft in an empty sea.

            I had told myself that I wouldn’t cry this time. But with his precious body so close to mine, I was already defeated. The tears rained, flooding my lost world.

            “I miss you…”

            More than four years had passed since he had again left my life. The concert had concluded in a mess with loss and mourning echoing throughout the hall. Fan and singer alike had wept together in agony, our sobbing perfectly in harmony as tragedy united all essence. The articles published the next day were the worst of all; ignorant journalists had deemed Hyesung’s return as a hoax and a dishonorable ploy for market. It had hurt, their insincerity to the man who had left this world with such grace, the world’s offensive reaction to the beautiful miracle that had saved my life. Some fans had discarded us, believing us to be liars and dishonest men, but that only made me appreciate those who stayed, joining myself and the others in this dreamlike reality where Hyesung had been resurrected to mend and reunite Shinhwa once and for all.

            The five of us did our best not to fail him. Minwoo, Dongwan, Andy, and even Junjin… They all swore never to separate again. It took me longer than the rest, the foolish man I was. For months, I refused their consolidation, resorting to my usual comfort in seclusion, but they had been persistent this time and eventually, I gave in. I slowly stopped visiting all the places that held our memories and retracing the path to the Twilight Ocean where I witnessed him draw his last breath. The days in between my trips to his grave gradually became weeks then months. I busied myself with an intense schedule, making sure that my mind was distracted with music and my rekindled acting career. Shinhwa had released two albums since his last disappearance and I had starred in a hit drama as the male lead. My life was a blur and I made sure to keep it that way so that I didn’t get a chance to be tempted by my weakness and come back to where his dusting bones rested.

            But sometimes, I couldn’t resist. There were days like today where my feet moved on their own, taking unrelenting steps to the one place my heart called out to.

            I fished a worn piece of paper out of my pocket, a possession I was never able to leave behind. It was wrinkled and tattered from all the times I had unfolded it to read its ink markings.

            With one hand clutching my heavy chest, I read his last letter to me for the hundredth time:

            “Dear Eric, my best friend and soul mate,

            I write this letter to you, knowing I will leave you again soon. Since I reentered your life, a part of me was always drenched in remorse because of the pain I have and will cause you. I hurt you when the only thing I wanted to do in my life was to protect you.

            While loving you seems like nothing but a tragedy, I find it only to be a blessing. You are truly beautiful; the world knows of your looks, but I had the opportunity to look inside every corner of your heart. You are sweet and tender and kind. Thank you for being so good to me. I wonder what I ever did in my past life to deserve you.

            There will come a time when you will wonder if I even existed at all. Time makes a man’s footsteps on earth fade, and while I hope you will eventually be healed from your wounds, I ask you not to forget me. Because every second that I spend away from you, I will think of you.

            My only regret is not making more memories with you and the others. Jinnie, Andy, Minwoo, Dongwan… It kills me to know that I have to say goodbye. Stay together. My spirit will always be there to complete the six.

            Eric ah… It scares me how much I love you. It’s even more unnerving that a man so perfect returns my love. How I’m going to miss you, every single thing about you…

            Remember me. Live on with the memories of me, of us. That is the only gift I can leave you with. Forgive me…”

            I sighed, my throat dry and my heart throbbing. I wanted to touch him, to hold him in my arms, to kiss him, and to claim him as mine. Instead, my fingertips grazed the velvet petals of the hundred roses I offered him with every visit. They looked revolting in comparison to the image of my angel’s exquisite face my memories had captured.

            “How could you even think that I could ever forget you…”

            The answering quiet was deafening. What I would do to hear his voice one more time…

            My body trembled as I embraced the crimson bouquet, yearning for his soft pale skin, his sweet, gentle lips…

            “You’re the only rose I ever knew… The only rose I ever loved…”

            It was torture to await for a reply that would never come. I wanted to hear him say that he loved me, that he was here to catch me in case I stumbled and fell. But as I did every time my heart cried out in anguish, I recollected his promise, the words that I held onto for dear life every moment in every day:

            “Death will never keep me apart from you.”

            I smiled as hot tears trailed down my cheeks, knowing that he was no longer physically here, but that I would still be by his side in remembrance of him.

[A/N]: Thank you so much for reading the final chapter of Remembrance! It was such a beautiful journey... I had a wonderful time writing this piece. This fic was inspired by the anime Anohana: The Flower We Saw That Day. Of course, it has a completely different story line (a very beautiful one), but I definitely want to credit it for inspiration. Also, the song lyrics from the last chapter (Hyesung's last song) are actually the translated lyrics from Hyesung's song Last Farewell. The lyrics were changed slightly for the sake of this story, but go check out the song, his voice is absolutely angelic... And so sad, too, it really fits with his character in this fic. Again, I want to thank each and every one of you who took the time to read this story. Every comment and upvote gave me immese joy! It really surprises me that some people enjoy my writing... Thank you, it really means so much. Because I had a hard time departing from this story, I have begun writing a spinoff to Remembrance, perhaps one that isn't as sad... (or maybe it will be, my stories always end up sad TT). So please check out that as well (first chapter will be up soon)! I will definitely update my other fics, too (no, I have not abandoned them lol). AGAIN AND AGAIN, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT!!! You have all made me so, so happy <3

Yours truly,

Glow4Syung