Time flowed by like a quiet stream of clear water. Winter was fading now as the green of spring inundated the earth. Animals crawled out of their sleep and flowers sprung out to decorate the ground. The month of March had been like a dream, but that dream was gradually etching too far. As April dawned, I was so foolishly immersed in my dream that I began to fear of waking up.

            Many claim that time heals, but for me, time had to stop. With every last breath of my existence, I wanted time to cease.

            “Eric ah…”

            I watched him as he slept next to me, mumbling my name. When he had come back, I had been filled with nothing but happiness. As time rushed on, fear overpowered that joy.

            A cold tear tricked down my eye. I raised my hand to touch him, but I resisted, afraid of disturbing his sweet sleep. This was enough. Just to watch him slumber, just to be by his side…

            How was it that I had fallen deeper in love with him?

            He had been gone for so many years, yet it felt as if he had never left. Even the others were returning, naturally gravitating to his presence although they could not even physically see him. Minwoo was always visiting me, trying to persuade me to move into his apartment. Dongwan now fully believed in Hyesung’s return and even seemed a little apologetic that he had doubted me in the first place. Andy was more distant than the rest, but he was definitely warming up to us again. Even Junjin… Yes, he was the one who had recovered the most, the one who had received the greatest healing. To the doctors’ amazement, he had gradually started to converse verbally again. His speech sounded strange and broken, as if he had forgotten how to speak, but he was so rapidly improving that everyone started believing that perhaps he could return to his normal self after all.

            And soon. Very soon.

            Everything was falling into motion. This miracle, this incredible phenomenon that had started with the return of Shin Hyesung was ever so quickly affecting all six of us. I held the hand of the sleeping man beside me. The iciness of his skin no longer bothered me. I wanted to hold him, to kiss him, to forever remind him how beautiful he was in my eyes.

            I never thought I could love someone like this.

            “Don’t go… Stay like this… Let’s stay like this forever…” I murmured, gently placing my lips on his forehead. Another droplet of tear rolled down my cheek. “Please don’t leave me again…”

            It was a plea, a desperate cry to God. With the passing of time, with every second filled with joy that I was blessed to spend with him, I became so afraid. If I lost him again… If he disappeared from my life ever again…

            “Hyesung ah, please don’t hurt me…”

            I knew he would never deliberately hurt me. But he had so much power over me that he himself could not control; he could calm my raging seas one moment and then set fire to the rain the next. He had obsolete rule over my heart; he could make me struggle for dear life, he could make me numb to pain with his radiant light. I no longer listened to the beating of my own heart. I had surrendered wholly to the rhythm of his soft small breaths.

            “Eric ah…” he mumbled again, his eyebrows scrunching together. His body jerked. “Eric… Please… Eric!”

            He woke with a start, his eyes shot wide open in fear and exhaustion.

            “Hyesung ah, what’s wrong?” I asked quietly, drawing him into my arms.

            He buried his face in my chest, his fingers digging into my thin white shirt. I felt his small frame trembling.

            “Hey, hey,” I cooed softly. “What’s the matter? A nightmare?”

            “I’m… I’m so damn scared, Eric…” he whispered, his voice shaking.

            I wrapped my arms more tightly around him with no intention of ever letting go. “You don’t have to be scared anymore. I’m here. I’ll protect you.”

            “Eric ah… You can’t. You can’t stop me from leaving you again.” My heart dropped and everything around us blurred away. “I’m so damn scared, Eric ah… I don’t want to leave you again…”

            All I wanted to do was look him in the eye and promise that I would make everything okay. That I would somehow find a way that he could stay with me forever. But I bit my tongue in bitterness, unable to make the empty vow.

            “I love you, Hyesung ah,” I said instead. Those were the only words I could promise.

            Hyesung sniffled and looked up at me with glossy eyes. He pressed his lips onto mine, lips so cold, lips so afraid.

            “I love you, too,” he answered, but there was underlining fear I could not ignore. “I love you so damn much.” He sounded almost resentful and I could hear the sorrow in his voice. My heart shattered at his anguish, my mind cursing fate for our unjustified torture.

            Perhaps Hyesung and I were doomed for tragedy from the start.

            Perhaps love this painful should never have existed in the first place.

***

            “Hi,” I said awkwardly as I stared at the neatly groomed man sitting across the table.

            “Hi,” Andy echoed uncomfortably. He raised the glass in front of him then placed it back down without a sip. Silence stretched on between us, leaving us both fiddling with our fingers.

            Why the busy CEO had asked to meet with me in private was beyond me. I appreciated the fact that he wanted to talk and possibly mend things between us, but I was honestly too nervous and distracted to give him my full attention. It was the first time I had been separated from Hyesung since his miraculous appearance. Despite my protests, Hyesung had stubbornly persisted that he would be okay spending time alone at my apartment. I had been left with no choice but to agree with the demanding little prince.

            “So… I just wanted to talk to you…” Andy spoke up, tracing the rim of his cup with his index.

            “Okay, go ahead,” I insisted, trying to focus on the current conversation rather than my worrisome but still unimaginably cute boyfriend.

            Andy cleared his throat and sighed deeply. “I… I’m sorry.”

            I blinked in surprise. Sunho had his eyes glued to the table, not daring to look up at me as if in shame. “Why?” I asked, confused.

            “For being an . A stupid idiot. A sorry excuse for a human being.”

            “What?”

            “I… I tried to contact you after you disappeared,” he explained, still not meeting eyes with me. “But you seemed to have changed your number. I should have kept looking for you, I knew that you were in a terrible state… But I was selfish and I just abandoned you…”

            “Uh, Andy, look up at me,” I stated.

            He slowly raised his head and looked into my eyes.

            “Andy, I abandoned you. I was the one to leave the four of you. I was the one who was selfish,” I told him clearly.

            “No…” To my shock, the handsome man in front of me started to break down and cry. Tears ran down his cheeks and all of a sudden, he was the same teenage boy I had loved and cared for all those years ago. “I’m s-sorry,” he pressed, his voice trembling. “I wanted to find you, but I wasn’t sure if you wanted to be found. I should have looked after you, you’ve always been there for me… But I was so dumb and worthless… I left you all alone to struggle by yourself… I’m so sorry... And I really missed you, hyung…”

            “Dammit, Andy,” I cursed as tears blurred my vision. “Stop being such a good guy for once… Punch me or something for being such an idiot the past five years…”

            Andy forced a laugh as he wiped his face clean with his palm. “I honestly wanted to hate you, hyung. Especially when Junjin attempted suicide and fell into a coma… I really wanted to blame you. When I realized you weren’t coming back, I tried so hard to convince myself that you were a bad person. When you came to visit with Minwoo and Dongwannie hyung, I didn’t even want to see you. Maybe a part of me knew I would break the moment I saw you again.

            “Then you claimed that Hyesungie hyung was alive. I thought you had gone mad at first. I was actually angry, remembering how you had disappeared from my life after Hyesungie hyung’s death. But… after everything that has happened recently, I just don’t know what to believe anymore. There’s so many questions in my head, so much doubt mixed with even more hope. And regardless of all that… I just wanted to let you know how great it is to see you again.”

            “Andy yah…” I found myself speechless.

            My dongseng, the same dongseng from my memories I had loved so much, smiled warmly. “Eric hyung, thank you… After I became a CEO, I thought I had forgotten what it meant to be happy. But I’m happy now. With you, Minwoo hyung, Dongwannie hyung, Junjin… and Hyesungie hyung. I’m so happy.”

            “Do you really believe that Hyesung’s back?” I asked.

            Andy bit down on his lower lip. “I… I do. After what happened at Yongin hospital, there’s no way I can say that I don’t believe in Hyesungie hyung’s return. But… I’ve talked with Minwoo hyung and Dongwannie hyung and they told me that he’s presence is gradually fading…”

            I sighed in angst. “He’s slowly losing the ability to touch things. He’s always tired and weak. It only seems to be a matter of time until—”

            I couldn’t push myself to finish the sentence. Andy nodded in understanding.

            “I was thinking… Maybe we can do something special with the six of us together?”

            I raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

            “Something to celebrate our reunion. Like… a concert?” Andy suggested hesitantly.

            Without thinking, I burst into laughter. Only when I observed Andy’s humorless expression did I realize he was being serious.

            “Wait, really? A concert?” I asked. “What about the others?”

            “Minwoo hyung and Dongwannie hyung already agreed. They both think it’s a fantastic idea. As for Junjin… He’s rapidly recovering and the doctors have high hopes that he can be discharged within the next month.”

            “How… How about Hyesung?”

            “He just needs to be there,” Andy smiled, his eyes twinkling. “His presence will be more than enough.”

            I swallowed nervously. “I… I haven’t danced in years…” I confessed in embarrassment.

            Andy chuckled. “There will be time to prepare. I can make arrangements and gather our old dancers. The concert should be ready to go within a month or two.”

            “Wow, you really thought this through, huh?” I noted in awe. “But I really don’t know, Andy… I didn’t lead a celebrity life for half a decade, my confidence is kind of shot.”

            “You were born for the spot light, hyung,” Andy reassured. “But I won’t pressure you. Just promise me that you’ll think about it? And that you’ll ask Hyesungie hyung, too?”

            I nodded. “Of course.”

            “Thank you, hyung. It’ll be great if the six of us can stand on stage as Shinhwa after all these years.”

***

            As Andy’s driver chauffeured me home, my heart pumped as if I was running endlessly. Amongst all the craziness engulfing me, the thought of a Shinhwa reunion concert seemed absurd and yet I couldn’t help but be excited by it. I wondered how Hyesung would react the moment I told him. I grinned to myself, already imagining his exhilaration and delight.

            I practically sprinted up the stairs to my floor. I swiftly unlocked my door and dashed in screaming, “Hyesung ah, I’m home! Guess what Andy told me today!”

            I waited a few seconds, expecting him come running into my arms in anticipation.

            There was no response.

            Was he sleeping? I wondered as I took off my shoes. “Hyesung ah!” I cried again.

            Silence echoed against my walls.

            Panic rose to my chest. I began to search frantically for my lover.

            I can’t find him. The thought chilled my bones.

            “Hyesung ah?!” I shouted at the top of my lungs. I searched my kitchen, my living room, and my bedroom with no success.

            I can’t find him.

            He’s gone, he’s gone, he’s gone.

            I dropped to my knees in utter despair. I was so broken that my entire body felt numb.

            He's... gone.

            Shin Hyesung was gone. He had been erased as if he had never existed.

[A/N]: Hey, guys! Sorry about the long wait (as usual -_-) I've been really busy with school and waves of exams are never fun TT But with Shinhwa's comeback due next week, I just couldn't resist!!! I'm writing this at 4:30 in the morning with no sleep so please excuse my poor writing TT I hope you guys liked it though although this chapter was not the sweetest in the least... Sowwie, will come back soon with a much better chapter (hopefully lol)! Anyway, please upvote and comment, I love hearing about how you guys feel about the story. Your constant support really helps me so thank you! I can never say it enough~ I love you guys! <3 Mwuuuuah ^_^