“H-Hyesung?”

            It was Dongwan who had uttered the name. I watched as the man’s handsome face was distorted by a satisfying mix of disbelief and horror. Beside him, Minwoo grabbed his friend’s thigh tightly in an effort to stabilize himself. His eyes were inundating with tears of blissful surprise, a sight too beautiful to describe with words. Andy’s dramatic expression was almost laughable; I nearly snapped a picture because the view was too good to pass up on. The maknae’s mouth was gaping open like a fish and his eyes were so far widened that I was afraid they would bulge out of his skull.

            I found myself smiling like an idiot, smug and drenched in pleasure.

            The only person in the room who outshone my smile was Junjin. The tall pale man beamed in delight, his thin face seeming to be framed by a marvelous glow. His happiness radiated the room and, as strange as it was, my gloomy apartment really seemed to get brighter somehow.

            “Hyung,” he said, his grin stretched so far across his face.

            I set my eyes upon the man at the entrance of my bedroom. “Guys…” I heard him mutter, his eyes glossy and his body shaking.

            “Hyesungie hyung!” Jinnie cried as he rushed forward to embrace him. The rest followed his lead instantaneously. I tried to stop them from tackling Hyesung, afraid he would get hurt, but I realized there was no use. I watched the group crumble to the ground as they all attempted to hug Hyesung at once.

            “Hyesung ah… Hyesung ah!”

            My living room was suddenly filled with loud sobbing and cries. My heart broke and, before I knew it, I was bawling along with the rest of them.

            We were crying like stupid fools. Like idiots who had once lost their beloved.

            Like blind men who had just seen the sun for the first time.

            The beautiful sound of weeping played on for endless hours, for so long that time had surrendered its power over the six of us. We were in our own universe, a world where even death could not control us.

            A place where we could be united despite our past, our decisions, our fate…

            We were one. The way it had once been.

            “How is this possible?” Dongwan murmured, the first one of us who was able to speak. He was holding Hyesung’s left hand tightly, it absentmindedly.

            Hyesung gave him a small grin. “Thank God,” was all he said. We all knew Hyesung had never been the religious type besides his scattered church attendance. But I agreed wholeheartedly with him.

            Thank God. Thank God.

            “Hyesung ah… I’m so happy. I’m just so happy,” Minwoo mumbled, resting his head with his eyes closed on Hyesung’s shoulder. “I never thought I’d ever be this happy again…”

            “Me, too.” I watched a tear trickle down Hyesung’s cheek. “I’m so happy…”

            “Hyung, I honestly can’t comprehend what’s going on, but I can’t complain,” Andy spoke softly, leaning against Hyesung’s leg. “This is… seriously a miracle…”

            A miracle. There was no other word for it. The fact that Hyesung was alive, the actuality that the six of us were co-existing in this very room… It was indeed a miracle.

            I watched as Junjin curled up by Hyesung’s side like a small puppy. I couldn’t tell if he was asleep or not with his eyes gently closed and his lips curled into such a peaceful smile. He didn’t speak a word, but he didn’t need to. The altering serenity about him said it all.

            “I love you guys. I always did… But now that I can say it again… I really do love you guys,” Hyesung whispered and I felt something glorious stirring within me.

            In what felt like an eternity, I willed my body to move. It was as if I was moving in slow motion but so naturally like the flow of water. Each step towards him made me feel lighter as if I was floating or nearly flying.

            And then I was before him. My best friend, my beloved.

            Before I realized what I was doing, I kissed him sweetly on his lips as my fingers cradled his face. The others turned in surprise and, for a moment, I was scared. What had I done? What if the others didn’t accept us? What if I had ruined our miraculous reunion?

            Then Hyesung looked up at me with the shyest smile. And I realized, I didn’t care about anything else at all.

            “I love you, Hyesung,” I confessed.

            My lover touched my nose with his. “I love you, too.”

            The room went silent and I could feel four pairs of eyes severely scrutinizing us. They sat there muted on my dirty floor with unreadable expressions. But my fear had already been defeated by bliss. Everything, every single thing that made me who I was drew breath within this room.

            Shinhwa. And Hyesung.

            I had never been so at peace.

            “Finally.”

            My ears perked up when I heard the word. It had been Junjin, the sweet child he was, curling back into a ball by Hyesung’s side. “Finally you tell us the truth.”

            The tension within the room melted at his comment. Hyesung and I looked at each other with stunned grins.

            “I don’t think any of us are surprised,” Minwoo added with a smirk. “Anyone would’ve known with all the flirting you guys did.”

            “We never flirted!” Hyesung retaliated in horror.

            Dongwan rolled his eyes. “Please, Hyesung… Eric was all over you all the time.”

            Hyesung shot me a glare and I shrugged. “Not my fault I always wanted you. You’re so damn cute,” I told him.

            Andy playfully made gagging noises. “Get a room you two.”

            “Shut up!” Hyesung cried, his entire face glowing red now. The five of us laughed at how adorable he was.

            “This is… nice,” Minwoo said. “How long has it been since we were all laughing like this?”

            “More like the five of you laughing at me,” Hyesung corrected with a pout.

            I chuckled and subconsciously his puffy cheek. “Because you’re so cute.”

            “I said, ‘Shut up!’” Hyesung retorted, smacking me on the head.

            “Ow,” I whimpered, then grabbed his hand to kiss it in revenge.

            “Ugh, my innocent eyes are bleeding,” Minwoo groaned. “Eric, leave Hyesung be for a moment. The rest of us want him, too.” He proceeded to peck Hyesung’s cheek.

            “I want Hyesung, too!” Dongwan joined in, attempting to kiss my lover until his efforts were halted by Hyesung’s foot.

            “Stop it!” Hyesung yelped out, but his cries were in vain as everyone tried to get their hands and lips on him.

            God, this sight was amazing. There was a hint of reminiscence, but this was a different brand new memory. The six of us, we had come so far, traveling on roads we never imagined we would journey. Despite the troubles, the darkness, the hindrances, we had all made it here.

            We had all met up once again against all odds.

            “Ah, !” Minwoo cussed loudly, absorbing all the attention in the room. He was glancing at his phone, his brows furrowed in unease. “We completely abandoned our concert rehearsal.”

            “Oh…” we all murmured in unison, the reminder catching us off guard. It took a moment for it to register that we had a concert in a little over twenty four hours. The five of us had been practicing nonstop for the special occasion, but the concert was the last thing on my mind right now. In this moment, I was entirely consumed by the happiness that had clouded my tiny apartment.

            “We can push back the concert,” Andy suggested, nodding at me. I nodded as a sign of agreement.

            “But the press...” Dongwan started.

            “And the fans,” Minwoo added.

           When we all sat in silence, weighing our options, it was Hyesung who spoke up to make the final decision, “Let’s go to the rehearsal. Let’s do the concert tomorrow.”

            “Are you sure?” I asked him. A part of me desperately yearned for the six of us to spend more personal time together. I wanted to waste little to no time when it came to Hyesung.

            “It’ll be too big of a hassle to move the date,” Hyesung reasoned. “And I want to be there. I want to rehearse with you guys.”

            That pasted a wide smile on Minwoo’s face, the ambitious man he was. “Hyesung is seriously the best. Let’s go then!”

            It was funny to watch all of them try to pull Hyesung to his feet at once when the man only had two hands. Hyesung shot me a brief smile of comfort as he was escorted by s out of my living room. I started to chase after them then paused. A thought, a spontaneous idea that was equally stupid as it was wild, passed my mind, and, with a crazed smile, I sprinted into my bedroom.

            “Eric ah! Are you coming?” Minwoo shouted as they waited for me to join them.

            “Yeah!” I called back as I ran to catch up to them.

***

            When the six of us reached the gymnasium where our concert would take place, the mixture of reactions that greeted us was almost amusing to witness. The staff had been impatiently waiting for our arrival, and some of them were even ready to voice their complaints when they noticed a familiar face they had not seen for years.

            “Shin Hyesung?!”

            Some of them lost it and fell to the ground in disbelief. A few of them cried, either terrified or amazed. All of them were busy whispering amongst themselves if this was some kind of trick. Was this man a lookalike? Perhaps he was a twin? Maybe even a hologram?

            Whatever their honest opinions were, they all welcomed Hyesung with wide grins. Nobody questioned it; perhaps they thought that this was part of the concert preparations or perhaps they thought that this was part of a grand trick. Whatever the reason was, they all kept to themselves which I much appreciated. The last thing I wanted was for Hyesung to be overwhelmed with unwanted attention.

            “Mic, check, check,” Dongwan tested his mic. When he was satisfied, he handed it to Hyesung rather shyly. “For you, Hyesung ah.”

            “Oh… Thanks, Dongwan,” Hyesung accepted hesitantly, not used to the special treatment. Dongwan smiled like a child and trotted off to fetch another mic for himself.

            I took the chance to approach my lover. “Will you be okay to practice with us?” I asked him lowly, hoping the others wouldn’t hear.

            “Yeah,” Hyesung told me, but I didn’t buy it. I reached for his hand and immediately withdrew as if my skin had been scorched.

            “You’re burning up!” I cried, distressed. It was as if his flesh had never been cold. “Are you really alright?”

            “I’m… okay,” Hyesung mumbled, seeming to question his own state of health. “I’ll be fine, Eric. Don’t worry.” When I didn’t look convinced, he continued, “Please. I really want to do this.”

            “Come on, you love birds. We’re starting,” Minwoo shouted over at us. Unwillingly, I left Hyesung’s side, shooting him a concerned look. He gave me a faint grin as an answer.

            The rehearsal itself was a blur. Everything was rushed due to lack of time, and there were a lot more mistakes and slipups than what was desirable the day before the actual performance. Minwoo mainly led the entire practice since I was near useless as a leader at my pitiful condition; I was too busy keeping up with the dance moves and making sure I wasn’t too out of breath to rap during my parts. Thankfully, the others kept an eye on Hyesung, helping him when he lost his place or blanked out on the choreography. Nobody pushed him to be perfect. It was more than enough that he was even here, dancing and singing with us as if he had never left.

            And dear Lord, his voice was so soothing to my ears. At some moments, I stayed rooted in my spot, mesmerized by his angelic tone. It was as if his body was a heavenly instrument only meant for ears of royalty. I couldn’t believe such a talented man was my lover. Minwoo was right. Shin Hyesung had been born to sing.

            Unfortunately, Hyesung only lasted halfway through practice before his knees gave way and he tumbled to the ground. All of us tended to him, flashing to his side worried sick, but he had assured us he was fine and that he was just drained from the sudden strenuous activity. He sat in a chair on the side of the stage, making sure his cheerful smile didn’t waver as he observed us. I couldn’t hide a tinge of disappointment; I had been hoping to catch a glimpse of him singing his solo song, but Minwoo had planned that it was appropriate for the end of the concert, and in his current state, Hyesung would not be able to practice before the actual recital.

            After hours of trials and errors, the rehearsal finally came to an end. It had already become dark outside and everyone was exhausted and more than ready to go home. As our staff members started to leave one by one, I caught Minwoo as he parted to use the restroom.

            “Hey, Minwoo, can you and the others stay for a little bit?” I asked him.

            Minwoo glanced at me curiously. “Yeah, sure. What’s up?”

            “I just need to do something. I want you all to be there,” I explained vaguely.

            Gratefully, Minwoo didn’t push me further. “Alright, I’ll tell the others, too.”

            “Thanks, Minwoo.” I gave him a quick pat on the back before heading back to the stage nervously.

            I found Hyesung sitting awkwardly by himself, unsure of what to do next as others cleaned up around him. “Hey, cutie,” I called.

            “Hey, grandpa,” he replied, smirking. “I was scared you were gonna faint out there. You’re still out of shape.”

            “Well, you must be into grandpas then,” I winked at him, making him turn a dangerous shade of red. I laughed, he was so easy to tease. “How are you feeling?”

            “Fine,” he responded automatically. He pouted when I felt his forehead with the back of my hand.

            “You’re still really hot,” I stated with a frown. “I mean, you’re obviously hot, but like your temperature hot, too.”

            He rolled his eyes at my lame flirting. “I feel feverish, too. It’s weird, I’m so used to being cold all the time.”

            “Maybe it’s a good thing,” I pressed, trying to be hopeful. Hyesung nodded, but he didn’t seem convinced.

            “Are we going home?” he asked, looking around and realizing everyone had already filed out. “You’re going to need rest for tomorrow.”

            “Aw, Shin Hyesung is worrying about me. This must be a dream,” I teased.

            “By ‘you’, I mean the rest of the members obviously,” Pilkyo quickly shot back. “Did they leave already?”

            “I don’t think so,” I replied and as if on cue, the four of them showed up, slowly making their way up the stage.

            “Hey, Eric, what’s going on?” Dongwan asked. Clearly, Minwoo had relayed the message.

            “Yeah, why’d you ask for us to stay behind? I was thinking we can head over to my apartment to talk then sleep,” Andy chimed in, his face worn from tiredness.

            “One second, guys. There’s something I need to do. I want it to be here with the six of us here,” I exclaimed, starting to feel extremely nervous.

            “Eric ah?” Hyesung called, sensing my sudden tension.

            I turned to him and stared into his dark brown hues. Was I sure about this? There were so many things wrong with what I was about to do, the foolish act I was going to commit. In the cursed situation we were in, there was bound to be pain and hurt. Was I really going to do this?

            A genuine smile possessed my lips. I was so damn sure. I had been sure years before and I was even more positive now as I stood in front of the very man I adored, basking in his unwavering beauty and splendor.

            I took his hand in mine and got on one knee.

            Hyesung’s eyes widened and I tried my best to tell myself that it was not out of dread. “Shin Hyesung, the moment I met you, I knew you were special. Whether you admit it or not, I know it’s destiny that made our paths cross, and I honestly lost count of all the times I nearly lost my mind because I knew what I felt for you, I would never feel for anyone else. Befriending you and growing closer to you, I realized something as silly and improbable as ‘soul mates’ really do exist.

            “I know I’m imperfect and I have so many flaws that it’s almost embarrassing to ask you to accept me as I am, but I will make it my life’s mission to show you that you are loved. I vow to make you my priority in everything I do, not just for your sake, but because your happiness is equivalent to mine.”

            I reached into my back pocket and retrieved a velvet box, a possession I did not have the heart to discard after all these years. “I lost you once, and it would be foolish of me to miss this opportunity again.” I saw Hyesung’s eyes turn glossy with tears when I opened the box and presented him the pair of silver bands I had prepared the day he died. The diamonds glistened under the spotlight.

            “Jung Pilkyo, will you be mine forever?” As soon as I asked the question, I knew I would never regret those words.

            Hyesung, in spite of everything, smiled radiantly as he confirmed with a small nod.

            Inside me, there was a festival of ecstasy firing up. With trembling fingers, I placed the silver ring around Hyesung’s fourth finger. It fit perfectly, as if it was meant to be.

            As if we were meant to be.

            Hyesung took the matching band out of its box and put it around my finger as well. When our eyes met again, his soul crumbled, reducing to fragments of joyful tears.

            Behind us, I heard clapping and cheering. I whirled around, having forgotten we had company. The four people I loved so dearly, Minwoo, Dongwan, Junjin, and Andy, were running towards us with open arms. To my solace, all of them looked exultant, Minwoo even having tears in his eyes. They clashed against us, congratulating us; Hyesung and I melted into their embrace, Hyesung still sobbing blissfully.

            If I had ever been happy, it was now.

            “I’m so… so happy,” Hyesung gasped in between his sniffling as if he had read my mind.

            “I’m so happy, Eric… That you’re here, right next to me…”

            My whole body froze, memories of that fateful day crashing into my chest so hard the wind was nearly knocked out of me. I held my breath in sudden pain, but nobody seemed to notice, drunk off their delight.

            “I’m the luckiest person in the world. To have you holding my hand, to be hearing your voice… Even if I go to hell, I’m so happy to die like this…”

            Anxiety seized me and I was held captive by my fears once again. I had almost forgotten that Hyesung had died. At first, when I had found my supposedly dead friend in front of my doorstep, I had thought I was dreaming. Every day with him seemed like fantasy as I was not used to the warm light his presence shed on my dark life. But at some point, he had become my reality. With his flesh against my flesh, with his breath against my breath, I had started to believe that Shin Hyesung was alive and that his death—and my miserable existence during his absence—had all been a dream, a nightmare I never wanted to visit again.

            A part of me knew that my realities were mixing, and the line that divided what was real and what was not – the anesthetic dreams and the cold truths – was blurring to a dangerous degree. While I gained joy beyond my imagination, there was inevitable heartache that would follow.

            I wasn’t sure if I had it in me to survive the fall after being up so high.

            A soft, warm hand reached out and pulled me out of my dismal thoughts. I blinked, surprised to find myself in the arms of the man I loved, the man who had remarkable power over my spirit.

            The man who was supposed to be dead. The man who was not supposed to be alive.

            “Eric…” He whispered in my ear, his sweet voice was careful, layered with both sensitivity and assurance. “Whatever happens… Whatever happens to me, to us, I will not go back on my promise. I will love you forever. I will be yours and yours alone forever.”

            Tears consumed me as I felt myself slipping away from rationality, from all reason and logic. The temptation was too strong, and, to be frank, I didn’t want to resist any longer. Even if it was for a moment, even a fraction of a second, I wanted to be engulfed in my dream and dwell in the paradise that was Shin Hyesung.

            “Death will never keep me apart from you,” Hyesung swore before he matched his lips with mine. As we kissed, everything else – my doubts, my anxieties, and even my hold on reality—faded into oblivion.

[A/N]: Hey, guys! I can't believe I actually updated this fic finally TT Took me forever, I'm so sorry TT I should actually be studying for an exam, but I really wanted to finish because I was so close (I really hope I don't fail haha) >< So... this chapter was pretty rushed at some parts and I was a bit iffy on my writing (I was quite tempted to write it over again because I wasn't satisfied, but I thought what the heck lol) so I apologize if it wasn't worth the wait (and also the mistakes, I will proof read my writing one day...) >< So there are 2 more chapters (one final chapter and one epilogue) I plan to write for this fic as of now. Yes... this fic is coming to an end! I really hope you guys are as excited as me lol~ Anywho, thank you so, so, SO much for the constant support, the patience, and love. Please don't forget to upvote and comment (I really do get motivated by your feedback, I value every single one!). Hope you guys are doing awesome and hurrah for Shinhwa's recent anniversary ^^ Love you guys! Hwaiting~