"That's a lie..."

            "Stop ing around! Don't you dare tell me..."

            "No... No..."

            "He can't... He couldn't have..."

            "NO!" I cried as my eyes shot open. Cold sweat was dripping down my brows, salty tears running down my cheeks. The silence of morning was intruded by my rough breathing and the desperate pounding of my heart.

            "Dammit," I muttered out loud, planting my wet face in my palms. "Dammit!" I let myself cry in defeat. My pulse was racing, still caught up in the terrifying nightmare that constantly haunted my dreams. It was the same fragmented memory that never failed to shatter me into a broken mess every time it resurfaced.

            I wanted to die. I really did. Every single day, I would wake up and think of ten different methods of escaping reality. I didn't have a gun to shoot myself with, but hanging myself was always an option. Or I could just go Juliet with a kitchen knife, although that would hurt like hell. Honestly, no one would even notice if I ended my life... My family had given up on me and all of my friends had abandoned my helpless state. I didn't care that I was alone, there was no company that I desired anyway. Life was seriously a drag, the biggest waste of time.

            Maybe I would really end it all today. Death would be quick. Considering the date, it would be sickeningly ironic, something the gossips would eat up like a vulture scavenging on rotten meat. Oh, I could even picture the newspaper headline vividly in my head:

            Shinhwa's Leader Eric Commits Suicide On Shinhwa's 15th Anniversary...

            Yes, it was March 24th, the very day everything had began. It had once been a time for celebration... I could faintly remember the parties, the endless shots of alcohol... The laughter, the teasing, the playful bickering...

            My heart tightened as I reminisced the five precious faces I had vowed to protect with my life. My best friends, my brothers, my family tied together by something stronger than blood...

            Shinhwa...

            But the bond between us six that had once been thought invincible had been torn and ripped to shreds.

            Shinhwa didn't exist anymore.

            I sighed, rubbing my throbbing temples. I had no reason for living in my current state. After the group had disbanded, all of us had gone our separate ways. We were all miserable, I knew. It had been a such a brutal end... but sometimes I thought that maybe I was the one who still sulked about it.

            All of us except Minwoo had quit our singing careers. I didn't hear from them anymore, our contacts had been lost ages ago... Maybe it was all my fault, I had been the first to isolate myself after all. But I did try to find out what was going on with the former members as if out of  unchangeable habit. I had read somewhere online that Minwoo had released a few solo albums and that Dongwan had gone full out in the movie industry. The youngest Andy had set up his own company and was now a successful CEO. Otherwise, I didn't know anything else about them. I didn't know where or how they lived. All I could pray was that they had it better than me.

            Contrary to most of the members' accomplishments and triumphs, I had quit my job completely and had sold my house to move into a shabby apartment where no one would ever find me. My face was also different, much older and weary, with wrinkles framing my chapped lips. The daily cans of beer and packs of cigarettes had done their harm as well. Every time I glanced in the mirror, I could never watch my reflection for too long because the conjured image frightened me. I looked more or less dead, my features no longer recognizable.

            It was funny how I had been so admired for my fairness only five years ago. In a matter of half a decade, I had managed to completely ruin myself.

            It would surely be much more pleasing to die than to live the way I was living now.

            All alone... Despairing every second that ticked by... Immersed in misery and hopelessness...

            All these years, I suffered through it all and kept myself alive for one reason.

            "Swear to me you'll keep living. Swear that you'll live for my sake."

            I shouldn't have made such a promise then. I shouldn't have... It was so unfair. Why did I have to suffer like this? What sin had I committed? Was it because...

            Was it because I couldn't protect him? Was this my damn punishment?

            "," I cursed under my breath. I was so fed up with everything. Did I really have to keep going like this? Did I really have to keep... living? Did I really have to keep breathing like nothing was wrong when nothing was right? I shook my head as I made up my mind. " this ," I hissed out loud although no one was around to hear me.

            This is all your ing fault... Shin Hyesung...

            I didn't bother to wash up or change. My neighbors might give me a dirty look, but I couldn't care less. I had reached my lowest point and nothing really registered in my head anymore.

            I just wanted to die. Now. Before my senses reactivated and stopped me from doing the irreversible.

            Jumping will do the trick, I decided. I needed to get to the top of the building where the success of my suicide would be certain. Without a second thought, I let my feet drag me to the door of my house.

           Damn, I'm really going to kill myself. A part of me couldn't hide satisfaction. Finally, everything would end. No more horrifying dreams, no more waking up feeling like .

            And no more remembering... No more remembering the past, how things used to be...

            No more remembrance of him.

            "I promise... I promise to keep living... For you..."

            I swallowed and shook my head at the memory. Promises were meant to be broken, right? If he knew... If he actually knew how much I was suffering because of that stupid promise, he would surely forgive me, right?

            At that attempt to comfort myself, I opened the door to exit my apartment. There were thirty floors in total, I definitely couldn't survive that, right? My head was so busy calculating that I almost crashed into something in my way.

            At first, I thought it was a large white bag of trash that someone had idiotically placed in front of my house. Then I realized... it was a body.

            ... It was a man for certain. He was thin, but his shoulders were too wide and his length was too long for a typical female. The face was planted on the ground so I couldn't identify the person. But something... something seemed so familiar...

            I turned my head to the direction I was originally headed: the staircase that would lead me to the rooftop of the building and eventually, my afterlife. Should I just ignore this unmoving body in front of me and go on my jolly way?

            But what if this man was dead? What if this had been a murder case?

            Hell, why did it have to be in front of my house?!

            "Excuse me," I grumbled. I contemplated kicking him awake when he stirred.

            "Ughh," he groaned. Thank God he's alive. He stretched his limbs on the cold floor below me. "Where the am I?"

            Suddenly, my heart dropped down to my stomach. His... His voice...

            It couldn't possibly be...

            He stared up, his eyes narrowed in frustration. When he found me staring at him in shock, he gave me a wide grin.

            "Eric!" he cried jauntily.

            Oh, my god.

            I rubbed my eyes, doubting my vision. Perhaps I had gotten drunk earlier? But I hadn't even touched a can of beer today. Maybe this was a dream?

            It... couldn't be real...

            He struggled to get on his feet. He was just as I remembered: elfish face, long neck, lean muscles... I stepped closer to him and gazed with wide eyes.  

            Tall nose, beautiful brown eyes, soft thin lips...

            He put his hands on his hips. "What are you staring at, bastard?"

            "... H-Hyesung?" I stuttered his name.

            He raised an eyebrow at me. "Yeah?"

            "You can't be real," I murmured. Suddenly, I was scared. I backed away and slammed my back hard against the steel door.

            Was I finally crazy? Did I finally lose my mind?

            "Excuse me?" he shot back angrily. "And why the can't I be real?"

            We looked at each other in silence. My heart was racing and my head was emptied blank.

            "B-Because," I started, finding my voice again. He nodded, urging me to go on.

            I shivered before the next words escaped my lips.

            "Because... you died. Five years ago."

[A/N]: Hey, guys! This is the first chapter! Hopefully, you guys enjoyed. I seriously wrote this in like 15 min (that's why the chap is kinda short), I'm so tired and I have no idea what I wrote xD haha, I'll read this over tomorrow~ Tell me what you guys think! Comments and votes are very, very appreciated~ Love youuu <3

P.S. I think all of it is going to be in Eric's PoV... I don't like writing in PoV but I think it'll work better in his perspective, idk... We'll see :P