The Social Network (Kris x Amber)

10 Out of 10 Points (*insert male idol's name here* X Amber ONESHOTS)

 

Twitter. An online social networking service and microblogging service that enables its users to send and read text-based messages of up to 140 character, known as "tweets"

 

 

More like s as Wu Yifan would put it. Oh how he vowed to hunt down the creator of the useless piece of crap called twitter. He couldn't decipher why people wasted precious time posting nonsense and acknowledging to the whole world of their narcissism. coughZitaocough. Isn't facebook enough of a pain in the ?!

 

 

*CLICK*

 

 

"Zitao, for the last ing time, GET THAT ING CAMERA AWAY FROM MY FACE! ONE MORE TIME, AND I'LL BURN THAT FOR GOOD."

 

 

"But Yifan ge, I want to show my girlfriend---"

 

 

"I'M NOT A ING ZOO ATTRACTION! WHY THE ARE YOU EVEN SENDING PICTURES OF ME TO YOUR OWN GIRLFRIEND?!"

 

 

"I share everything with my Minzy!"

 

 

Ah, yes. Another reason for him to hate the dreaded website. Relationships. Take Zitao, for example. Just a month after EXO-K and EXO-M debuted, 2NE1's flexible, bootylicious magnae and EXO-M's kungfu panda publicly announced that both of them were in a romantic relationship, and have been secretly dating for eight months via twitter of course. Absolutely everyone didn't see that coming. Yifan had to punish Zitao for lying behind his back by selling his precious Gucci bags off to ebay.  Miraculously, both Lee Sooman and Yang Hyunsuk approved of their relationship. Now that their secret was out, both spend every free time they have sending each other pointless love quotes and selcas of each other every waking minute.

 

 

*CLICK*

 

 

"YOU BRAT! DIDN'T I TELL YOU---"

 

 

*CLICK*

 

 

"---THAT I'LL ING BURN---"

 

 

*CLICK*

 

 

"---YOU'RE ING CAMERA---"

 

 

*CLICK*

 

 

"---IF YOU TAKE ONE MORE ING----"

 

 

*CLICK*

 

 

"---PHOTO AND SHIP THE ASHES---"

 

 

*CLICK*

 

 

"---ALONG WITH YOUR LIMITED EDITION GUCCI BAG---"

 

 

*CLICK*

 

 

" ----AND THAT'S IT!!! GAHHHHHHHHH!"

 

 

Zitao's shrill screech and Yifan's profanities was starting to irked the usually calm doe-eyed Luhan. Painstakingly, he tried to remind himself of nothing but happy thoughts. Queen-sized bubblegum bubble tea, adventure time with Finn and Jake, Jongin's bald armpits, straight ...poison Yifan and Zitao in their sleep...He slapped himself from entering the dark side as he blocked their noise by focusing his attention on his laptop. Like Zitao and the rest of EXO except Yifan, Luhan too had a slight obsession with tweeting. To him, it was one way for him to communicate to his fans and at the same time, keep in touch with his family and friends, particularly his celebrity friends..Well, he did have a facebook account but apparently he wanted to keep up with the latest fad and practically anybody who's anybody was on twitter, so sayonara to his has-been account. Finally grasping his happy place, he gleefully scrolled through his homepage, tweeting, retweeting and every possible he could do on the website.

 

 

"Hmm...what else is new...Zitao's bathroom selca...Gangnam style remakes...duizhang's derp face...another Zitao selca...Zitao's ---what..AJSNJAKNFKSF! Is that even legal?!Calm down, Luhan...remember happy thoughts...just keep scrolling...Oh hey, Sungmin ge tweeted...OH MY GAWWWWWWWD WHAT IS THIS?! DUIZHANG! DUIZHANG! DUIZHANG! LOOK! LOOK! LOOK!"

 

 

"WTF?! This better be good, Luhan!"

 

 

"Oh it is, duizhang. It surely is..." Yifan mentally shivered at the sinister grin spreading on the elder's porcelain face.

 

 

"The ...lay off the bubble tea, will ya. That messes with your sanity." scowled Yifan as the other remained unfaltered. "What were you supposed to show...THAT FEIGN! WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?! THE NERVE OF THAT MIDGET HAMSTER! WHY I OUGHT TO CHOP HIS BALLS OFF AND FEED THEM TO THE DINOSAURS!"

 

 

"Dinosaurs don't exist anymore, duizhang and F.Y.I, Henry's not short."

 

 

"I DON'T CARE! I'M STILL TALLER THAN HIM BUT THAT'S NOT THE ING POINT! Violin boy over there is practically flirting with MY girlfriend and what's this...they're taking selcas with each other?!"

 

 

"Oh, there's tons of those! Henry always mentions her in his tweets, and she also tweets about him as well. They're both..intimate."

 

 

"You know...intimate. As in, they're close, inseparable, always together...like a couple."

 

 

"..."

 

 

"Duizhang?"

 

 

"..."

 

 

"Duizha---YAH MY PRECIOUS LAPTOP! WU YIFAN, THAT LAPTOP WAS BRAND NEW! HOW COULD YOU ANDKSNGMLDSKMG!" Yifan scoffed uncaringly, and left the elder to mourn on the remains of his deceased possession.

 

 

"...my laptop..." cried Luhan as he carefully gathered of what was left of his prized gadget and cradled it in his arms, weeping like crazy.

 

 


 

 

As soon as Yifan entered his shared bedroom with Luhan, he childishly stomped his way towards his twin-sized bed, stubbing his foot on his llama plushy in the process, thus landing his face flat on Luhan's unwashed boxers that was lying on the ground. The putrid scent evaded his nostrils, jolting him from his previous position. He tore the undergarment barbarically, and left its shreds on the owner's bed. "It's like I'm living with a friggin' clone of Jongin! Oh God, are these pubes on my face?!" The angry dragon roared as he slithered himself on his comfy bed, way from Luhan's wasteland. He pulled out his mobile phone, and dialed the first person on his speed dial.

 

 

"Ayo waddup, Kris? I'm still on my way back to the dorms, so I'll call you back when I-------"

 

 

"Baby."

 

 

"Yah, didn't we agree not to call each other sappy nicknames? Look, I'll call you-------"

 

 

"GOD DAMN IT YOU BETTER NOT END THIS CALL, LIU YIYUN! EXPLAIN YOURSELF, WOMAN!"

 

 

"What the hell are you talking about, Wu Yifan?"

 

 

"THE PICTURES! I SAW THOSE GREASY PICTURES OF YOU WITH THAT HUMAN HAMSTER!!! AMBER JOSEPHINE LIU, THAT PEST HAD HIS ARMS AROUND YOU AND YOU ALLOWED HIM TO MOLEST YOU! WHY WERE YOU WITH HIM AT THIS HOUR? WHERE DID HE TAKE YOU? AKNFSDKLGMLDSKMGKLGMLFD!"

 

 

"WILL YOU SHUT YOUR ING MOUTH! GOD I'M TOO YOUNG TO GO DEAF!" That definitely silenced Yifan. He could hear pitter-patters of feet on the background and then...

 

 

"WU YIFAN, OPEN THIS ING DOOR THIS INSTANT BEFORE I LOOSE MY PATIENCE!"

 

 

Uh-oh. He was too late.

 

 

Amber had somehow managed to annihilate the door into oblivion with just one powerful kick, exposing Yifan in his defenseless state.

 

 

"Oh uhhh...h-hey baby."

 

 

"Don't even dare to change the topic, Wu Yifan. What the hell was that outburst about? This better be good..." the petite girl haughtily placed her hands on her hips, eyes blazing in fury as said boyfriend sheepishly fidgeted with the ends of his oversized shirt.

 

 

"...you're..."

 

 

"What?!"

 

 

"I SAID YOU'RE SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME WITH VIOLIN BOY! It's like you two can't get enough of each other. Always posting mushy on ter-----"

 

 

"Twitter."

 

 

"WHATEVER!" Yifan hung his head low, emotions astir. "...It breaks my heart to see you all intimate with him..." Amber's eyes began to softened at her distraught lover. She reached her hand out to caress his messy hair, and to Yifan's surprise, he felt a stinging thud on his unprepared forehead. "OWWW! What the hell was that for?!" he growled as he nursed his aching temple.

 

 

"That was for being an idiot." And before Yifan could even retort, she grabbed him by the shirt and gave his pouted lips a light peck. As soon as Yifan's lips started to move against hers, she shoved him away, grinning at his displeasure. He jutted his lips at her, begging for another kiss but the other merely ignored his plea. "You're actually kindda cute when you're being a jealous , Yifan."

 

 

Normally his infamous '-face' would resurfaced but apparently, his mind was too preoccupied to even register anything. He graced his lips with a sincere smile as he tangled his arms around Amber, catching her off guard. And as if reading his thoughts through his sharp orbs, she shyly nodded. He skillfully captured her lips in a slow, passionate kiss, both relaying their love for each other through each movement. The kiss lasted for about a good minute, both gasping for air.

 

 

"So what if I'm a jealous ? At least, I'm yours." whispered Yifan, earning him a blush and another flick on the forehead.

 

 

"Greasy bastard. You're lucky I love you, Wu Yifan." It was Yifan's turn to blush as he grinned from ear to ear.

 

 

"I love you too, Liu Yiyun." They both sighed contentedly in each other's arms, completely unaware of the eleven pairs of eyes peeking from the gaping hole where the door used to stand.

 

 

"Awww they look so cute together..."

 

 

"Pffft, Minzy and I are way cuter than them!"

 

 

"Woah, and here I thought Luhan was the neat freak."

 

 

"FIRST MY LAPTOP, AND NOW MY LUCKY BOXERS?! AJNFKSSKMFL"

 

 

"Ssssssh...shut up, Lulu. You're gonna blow our cover!"

 

 

"I always knew Krease hyung was so greasy."

 

 

"Pay up, Bacon! I told you KrisBer was real!"

 

 

"No way, Baozi! I didn't even bet on HenBer in the first place!"

 

 

"OMG get the camera, Suho! Awww our baby's all grown up...umma is proud of his son."

 

 

"Zitao, what the hell?! Turn the god damn flash off that thing!"

 

 

"Hyungth, I can't thee! Omo are they thucking face?"

 

 

"THEY'RE ING?!"

 

 

"JONGIN!"


 


 

 

dragonlovesthellama started following llama_ajol, princelulu, gucci4ever, henrylau89, parkchanyeol92, unicornsrule, ibringtheybaek, lechenflan, not_a_baozi...etc.

 

 

Kevin Wu @dragonlovesthellama

Behold, the almighty dragon is now on ter!

 

 

Kevin Wu @dragonlovesthellama

?

 

 

Kevin Wu @dragonlovesthellama

ugh, now what? -____-

 

 

Kevin Wu @dragonlovesthellama

how do you people do that tagging ?!

 

 

Kevin Wu @dragonlovesthellama

hey, i'm starting to get a hang of this..now i know why Zitao and Luhan likes this .

 

 

Kevin Wu @dragonlovesthellama

i still don't know how to friggin' tag people. PARK CHANYEOL STOP SENDING ME "AYO WADDUP KREASE~"

 

 

Kevin Wu @dragonlovesthellama

This is boring...i still don't get this ...oh wait...i get it nowㅋㅋㅋ

 

 

Kevin Wu @dragonlovesthellama

instagr.am/p/Oftf13nk1sfg/  - with my handsome girlfriend ㅋㅋㅋ~love you, babe @llama_ajol <3 YES MY REAL ENGLISH NAME IS KEVIN NOT KRIS SO STFU...oh and hi thurrrr @henrylau89 >D

 

 

Kevin Wu @dragonlovesthellama

for the last ing time, I'M NOT FRIGGIN KEVIN WOO FROM U-KISS! AJJAKFNLAKFMEK>(

 

 

Lu Han @princelulu

@dragonlovesthellama DUIZHANG!!!!!!!! YOU'RE FLOODING MY DASHBOARD! YOU'RE EVEN WORSE THAN @gucci4ever T________T

 

 


 

 

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I'm back~keke i was supposed to post this yesterday but fell asleep >< 

 

Thank you all for your comments and hello to my new subscribers! Waaaah you guys are really inspiring me to update more :DD Photobucket

 

And speaking of inspirations, thanks to my ex-crush who's now my crush again, I was able to finish this in just a matter of two days (would have been 1 day if it weren't for me doozing off). DMD bai! NANO NA CRUSH MN KO NMO BALIK OI?! XDPhotobucket

 

Lol, I dunno if you guy already saw these but I recently found these .gifs on tumblr. hahaha laughed my off when i saw these. credits to the owner XD

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Now, i'mma start on my HenBer oneshot keke~

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After two more oneshots, I'll post "Operation Love" - HunBer part 2 :D

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Comments

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Gemmybear
#1
Chapter 7: AUTHOR BISAYA KA?!!! OMGGGGGG <3
BeepBeep1234 #2
Chapter 21: Please Jongber fanfic (add some scene if you can 'cause I like it)
SkyClouds
#3
Chapter 2: I love your fanfic, specially gdber story gd and amber.
Please make a new ff of gdber authornim
PrincessRoyals12 #4
Chapter 15: C13: Gah, my Krisber heart. I really miss their interactions with each other. KRISBER for the win!
llama1023 #5
Chapter 6: Omg your oneshots are hilarious pleade continue ♥♥♥ lmao
llama1023 #6
Chapter 7: Author-nim you're the best!!! I'm loving this!!!!!
kdramafever578 #7
Chapter 15: y times with krisber = happy shipper
HunnieHannie
#8
i really need some tasty twins x amber after watching all wgm tv episodes! ;A;
But anyways, i LOVE every single fic here. thank you for putting so much effort in this!♥
wangzifan
#9
Henry x Amber x Xiumin pleaseee, ends up with Henber OuO
I want to see Amber between the 2 hamster-looking boys ~