Part 2: “Not Again”

 

 

Yunho slammed his head on the table, his fingers curling up around the beer mug. All he wanted to do is to get drunk, cursing himself for being so foolish, pitying himself then succumb into the misery.

 

“I was so stupid to believe that we might have something…” He mumbled, almost audible. He was so sad that he will shed tears in any second but he didn’t. The only thing that stopped him from bursting into tears is because he’s sitting in public place or precisely in ‘Soulmate’ club, pouring his heart out to Junsu. Yoochun wasn’t available at the time as he went out recruiting a band to perform on Saturday night.

 

“There must be an explanation for that, Yunho-ah…he doesn’t seem to be the type who play with other people’s heart like that…” Junsu aligned the glass on its place and put aside the cloth to give his full attention on Yunho.

 

“He said that he never met me before, in front of other people. What kind of explanation that would justify this action, you tell me? I mean we just met last night, it still fresh! He’s probably just ashamed to know someone like me…”

 

“I don’t think that was the case. Have you forgotten about that night? The way you guys walked out of the session, like he’s ready to introduce you to the world…the way he’s looking at you, I don’t think that’s fake too…”

 

How can he forget that? His heart refused to do so and the sweet memory of last night has been pasted against the wall of his brain – it will stay there lingering around even after 10 years. Because he doubted that he could ever stumble the same feeling ever again.

 

“That’s why I said it’s too good to be true, Junsu-ah…”

 

Yunho cocked his chin up, suppressing the tears from rolling down. Junsu studied him in silence. He recognized that kind of facial expression, it could only come from one thing.

 

“You really like him, don’t you?”

 

Yunho was flabbergasted by Junsu’s sudden question. It hit right on the spot. Yunho didn’t answer and it’s not like Junsu really need the answer for it. To his chagrin, his lower lip trembled. He bit it and took a deep breath. What people said was right. It’s so easy for one to fall in love and it requires no logical reason. You just do. And in his case, it’s also easy for his heart to break.

 

Junsu didn’t know what else he should say to console a broken heart. Words sometimes are not that necessary. He pushed the door, walked out from behind the counter and gave Yunho a hug.

 

“Love is the most complicated thing in this world. When you think you’re already figured it out, it just got messed up even more…I wish I could say that it’s simple and I wish I could say that everything will be alright…but no matter what I say, at the end of the day, it’s still my words and it came from how I view it…”

 

“…you know what you see, Yunho-ah…and I believe you’re able to distinguish what’s real or not…I know deep inside your heart, you also wish that there’s an explanation to it, am I right?”

 

“No particular reason…I just like you just the way you are...you are the bravest one to join the blind date session just by being you…”

 

Yunho tightened the grip around the beer mug. Yes, he wanted an explanation for it. It’s just that, he doesn’t know whether or not he deserve for an explanation. Who is he in Jaejoong’s eyes that give him a right to demand for the explanation?

 

When Yunho didn’t say anything, Junsu sat down on the chair next to him and patted his back. Maybe it was a wrong decision to force Yunho to join the blind date. Yunho’s been living with a heart as thin as the ice, as fragile as the glass. He’s been underestimated, played, disgraced, and so many things that even a single touch would break him apart.

 

On the other side, he probably will forever be a loner if they didn’t push him like last night. He might have stayed in his own world and have no courage to step out of the boundary at all. No improvement and not moving forward. A kindhearted and wonderful person like him deserves someone to love and be loved.

 

He watched as Yunho’s emptying the mug and asked for another refill. The bartender was about to pour out another refill when Yoochun interfered, stopping him before he could.

 

“Whoa whoa…I don’t think you wanna get drunk tonight…” Yoochun motioned for the bartender to take away from Yunho instead.

 

“W-what are you doing?”

 

“Someone asked for another blind date with you…” Yoochun pointed to his back with his thumb. Both of Yunho and Junsu looked past Yoochun’s shoulder and saw one particular person who just walked in.

 

“You’re kidding me!”

 

Yoochun nodded, affirming. He showed him the form; requesting for a second meeting.

 

“But instead of asking for a second meeting, he asked for a blind date. I didn’t recognize him at first, with a different style and outfit so I told him that we hold the Blind Date Session in every Thursday Night…after he mentioned your name, only then I realized that it was him…”

 

“No! Not again…”

 

Yunho shook his head, he wished to decline it but Junsu nudged him at his rib.

 

“What are you doing? This is your chance to find out the actual reason…”

 

“B-but-”

 

“Not but!” Junsu interjected.

 

“This is not the time to play cowardice…if you must go 10^th times for the blind date with him just to find out what really happened, in order to know what he really thinks about you…so be it!” Junsu spoke with a firm voice, his face stern.

 

Yunho pursed his lips, glanced at Yoochun reaching out for some back up. Unfortunately for him, Yoochun pretended like he didn’t see him, whistling softly while looking at other direction. His attitude reminds Yunho of his mother where he had no choice but to agree with it. What he needs is the answer and there’s no reason for him to run away.

 

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Yunho pulled out a chair and sat in front of him. He greeted Yunho with a curt nod, not saying much. Unlike their first meeting, he’s wearing the suit this time - the same one Yunho saw he’s wearing to work. He looked so different, it felt so different. It’s really hard to guess what’s inside his head with that indefinable emotion masking his face. He could barely resist the urge to attack him with questions and see whether his answers are acceptable or not; if he can answer it.

 

“Jaejoong-shi…”

 

“Please, call me Jae… just Jae…”

 

“What are you doing here? I thought you said that you don’t know who I am; don’t know about this club…”

 

“I didn’t…” He spoke in his deep solemn voice, a must character that you would definitely find in a boss.

 

“…but what you said intrigued me, that’s why I’m here…” His eyes scanned around the club, his fingers drumming the table.

 

 “I rarely go to this kind of place but it’s not that bad….I heard that it has a great reputation, never run out of customers…” His gaze trailed off and back to look at Yunho.

 

“Park Yoochun-shi told me about the Speedy Blind Date Session…”

 

“You were here last night…”

 

“So, can we start with ours? Tell me about yourself…” Yunho shot him an exasperate look. His statement just was like being discarded into a trash bin, completely brushed off and ignored.

 

“What for? I’ve already told you last night…”

 

“I’m not talking about the introduction…tell me more about you…about your work, what would you normally do in your free time, about your past life…everything…I want to know everything about you…” His tone turned softer at the end of the sentence.

 

The expression on Yunho’s face changed. For a moment he thought that he didn’t know who this man before him is. It’s like talking to a complete stranger. That’s how he would describe their situation starting from the second he sat there until 5 minutes ago. 5 minutes ago, his perception suddenly changed when the familiar warmness resurfaced on Jaejoong’s face. His heart began to pound hard when he caught a quick grin on his face.

 

“T-that…that’s gonna take a long time to finish…”

 

“It’s okay…I got the whole night…” Jaejoong said and held up one finger, calling out for the waiter to make an order.

 

“But I thought you have to go home before 12 midnight…?”

 

“Not tonight…no one’s home…”

 

Staring right into his glistening eyes, Yunho’s contemplating. Jaejoong hooked his elbow on the table, his hand palming his cheek, he popped the caramel coated nuts into his mouth from the bowl already on the table.

 

“I’m waiting…” Jaejoong prompted, somewhat impatient.

 

“I…”

 

Jaejoong arched his brow, waited.

 

“I don’t know where to start…where should I start?”

 

“Wherever and whichever you like…”

 

Yunho blinked his eyes, still thinking. He said that he wanted to know everything about him. From where he supposed to start? From the day he was born? That’s gonna need more than a whole night. He’s not gonna finish even after a week passed.

 

“I…was born on 6^th of February year 1986…” He announced, sounded a bit foolish even to his own ears. He gazed at Jaejoong, tracing some response. Picking onto his lips, Jaejoong nodded.

 

“That’s a good start…I was born on 26^th of January year 1989…”

 

3 years apart, Yunho noted. But Jaejoong looked strangely matured than his real age, maybe because of his outfit?

 

And so the night continued with Yunho did most of the talking while Jaejoong’s listening to him. He’s not even showing like he’s tired with it. Growing comfortable with him, Yunho loosened up a bit. Yunho told him the story of his life; the good and the bad-mostly the awful bad things but he made it sounded like it’s interesting as much as possible. Like he didn’t care that much. It’s all in the past; he put everything behind him and stopped thinking about it long ago. Though his current life isn’t that interesting compared to others, at least it’s not that bad.

 

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“Since I’m not socializing much with other people, not dating…so that’s pretty much what I do, working and making assets…”

 

Jaejoong’s mouth gapped slightly, admiring him.

 

“Wow~ I’m impressed! I mean, I’m a workaholic myself, don’t really have life outside from the work range…but even so, the business, the company, they were all inherited to me… but you, you built it with your own brain, strength and sweats! To be able to do that, it required more than just a courage…compared to you, I’m basically nothing…” His eyes stung, shined.

 

Yunho rubbed the back of his neck shyly, not really use getting a compliment from others.

 

“So how many houses you own in total?”

 

“5…3 different types of business…”

 

“I’m utterly amazed…there’s so many things that I need to learn from you…maybe I should start my own business and see whether or not I can do it…”

 

“Aniya~ it’s nothing…most of it, I’ve started out during my high school days since I have nothing to do…” Yunho lowered his head, his cheek warmed.

 

A smile quirked up on one side of Jaejoong’s mouth as he stared at him for a moment. Swirling the whiskey in his glass, he titled forward in his chair.

 

“You are not just an ordinary person, Yunho-ah…How did you do it? You just make me fall for you in one night…”

 

His whispered close to Yunho’s ear before he drained out his shot glass. Jaejoong’s voice resonated through his ear and seeped down deeply into his heart. The hair prickled at the back of his neck, his face flushed.

 

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It already past midnight and their “blind date” ended at the same place as last night, sitting on the same bench and at the same park. Just like last night, Jaejoong’s gaze seems so attached on the broad dark sky. Yunho took that opportunity, eyeing him from the side. It seems like he couldn’t take his eyes off Jaejoong, even blinking he thought would be a waste of time.

 

With his suit off, his sleeves folded up to his elbows, sitting with his legs crossed – there couldn’t be any other way that could describe how perfect he is in Yunho’s eyes. His red plump lips, his pale white fair skin – so smooth and so flawless, his big eyes, his pointy nose, his dark silky hairs fit the description of Snow White very well. If Snow White really exists in this world, he imagined that’s how she would looks like.

 

One blow of the wind threw his hairs disarray. His fascinating view just now has been blocked by a wisp of his hair as a result of it. Taking off his glasses, Yunho adjusted his hair with a stifle of groan and then put it back on. Unlike him, Jaejoong dealt with that situation calmly. A satisfaction sigh emitted from Jaejoong’s mouth.

 

“It’s really good to sit like this, doing nothing, just enjoying the night view and staring at the stars…” He exclaimed.

 

“You really love the stars, don’t you? I’ve noticed about it last night, even the bracelet you’re wearing have star shapes…”

 

Yunho pointed to the bracelet tying around Jaejoong’s wrist. He watched as Jaejoong ran his fingers across the bracelet with an expression Yunho would describe it as nostalgic.

 

“It’s from my late umma…she personally designed it…”

 

Yunho’s mouth formed an ‘o’ shape, feeling guilty for bringing that up.

 

“My love for you is as much as the stars in the sky. There are times when you couldn’t see it but you know it was there, unaccountable – she said…” Jaejoong ended it with a soft smile. Blowing out a breath, he turned his attention to the speechless Yunho.

 

“So, have you dated anyone before? Someone you crushed on?” Jaejoong asked the question this time around.

 

“I don’t think there’s someone who would like to date me…I’m not attractive, lack in so many things…”

 

“Don’t feel bad about it…those who didn’t know how to appreciate you, they’re just bunch of dumb people…and you, you deserve someone better…”

 

Yunho blinked his eyes and burst a light chuckle shortly after. He heard that statement before, from Yoochun and Junsu. Even his housemate; Changmin too said almost the same thing to him. It’s funny when he thinks about it.

 

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It’s not even 30 minutes after Yunho drifted to sleep when he receive a phone call from Changmin. He awoke with a surprise gasp, frantically answered the call while lying in the dark.

 

“Changminnie?” Yunho reached over, turned his bedside lamp on low and picked up the glasses next to it.

 

“Yunho-ah…open up the door for me please…” and it finished with a hic cup. Changmin managed to speak with a clear voice despite being heavily drunk.

 

“Give me a minute…” He ended the call with a ‘click’, slipped on the slipper and rushed out to open up the door for him.

 

Changmin’s in a pretty rough shape these days after the break up with his lover. He normally would wait for him in the living room until he return home. But that night, it’s different. His ‘date’ with Jaejoong ended around 2.30 in the morning. He got home late and expecting Changmin was home before him but he’s not.

 

“Changmin-ah?” Yunho stuck his head out of the door searching for Changmin and found him on the floor, far from sober. He hurried to his side, flung his arm around his neck and helped him getting inside.

 

“What should I do, Yunho-ah? I can’t live without him…” Changmin mumbled absentmindedly on their way to the living room. Yunho flopped down on the rugs after dropping him down on the couch.

 

“If you love him that much, why did you guys break up?”

 

His question remains as question when Changmin didn’t answer. He’s probably didn’t even realized what he’s spouting. Sighing heavily, Yunho pulled off Changmin’s boots one by one.

 

“JJ-ah…”

 

“JJ-ah…don’t you know how much I love you?”

 

Changmin’s mumbling in his sleep.

 

“If I could help you, I would already have, Changmin-ah…I can’t stand seeing you suffering like this…”

 

Yunho never had a chance to meet with this JJ guy before but he knew how much Changmin loves him and he can guess that he’s not just any ordinary kind of guy. He’s the only one who succeeded stealing the playboy Shim Changmin’s heart. He’s Changmin’s ‘mind banger’.

 

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“Urrghhh!” Changmin grumbled while massaging his temple. His cheek sunk and his eyes swollen.

 

Yunho pushed a cup of green tea to him he specially made for him without saying anything. Changmin pressed both of his hands around the cup as he expressed his thanks to him. He took a sip of his tea, letting it washing down his throat.

 

“I have no intention to pry but how long are you going to be like this? I don’t know what really happened between you two, but if you really love him…can’t you just reconcile? What happened to forgive and forget, kiss and make up you has been preaching me about?”

 

Changmin stared inside the cup.

 

“To tell you the truth, I went to meet him last night…I told him that I want us to get back together.”

 

Yunho applied the jam on his pancake as he waited for the latter to elaborate.

 

“...but he said that we can’t…he said there’s something come up that prevent us from getting back together…”

 

“Changmin-ah…I’m really sorry…”

 

Changmin shook his head, signaling to drop the subject. He swallowed down and put away the cup.

 

“I’ll just head back to bed…” He said simply and rose up.

 

“I’m going out to buy the groceries, if there’s something that you need…just text me, okay!” Yunho shouted from the dining room and Changmin replied him with a nod.

 

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“I don’t know if I can, Yoochun-ah…Changmin’s in a bad condition right now and I feel bad to just leave him like that…” Yunho just walked out of the market with his hands full; one hand holding onto the groceries and another hand holding onto the phone.

 

“Just bring him along then…this is a great band and you don’t want to miss it, I tell you... his vocalist is superb! Hiring them is a tough deal but we came to the same conclusion...”

 

“I can’t promise you anything…but I’ll ask him first, okay…”

 

He can tell that Yoochun was pretty upset with his answer because he was so excited to introduce the band to him. He’s been out on the street for a month searching for a new band for the club to replace the last one. What he found wasn’t just any band; it’s the ‘Jocker’ – one that everyone’s been killing to get. The rumors told that several representative from big companies stepped out, offering all kind of deals just to sign a contract with them but were rejected.

 

“Yoochun-ah, I gotta go…we’ll talk again later, okay…” it’s really hard for him to move in that kind of condition while carrying lots heavy bags in one hand and the street are full with people that he had no choice but to end the call.

 

What happened next was a bit blurry to him. Something or someone with an unusual strength accidentally bumped with him by the shoulder as their bodies collided within the crowds.

 

“Ouch!”

 

Yunho stumble backward couple of steps, almost dropping the groceries when he heard ‘sorry’ slipped out from the other mouth. He lifted his head and saw a pair of cold sorrow but big eyes glaring sharply at him. Yunho’s eyes went wide, shocked. He’s taller by couple of inches than Yunho, wearing a black printed hoodie jacket; with the hoodie on. His fringe covered up his one eye and revealed another. A heavy dark line drawn on his eye lids and there’s a floral pattern of eyelashes extension attached at the lower part of his eyes. Not just that, he’s carrying a guitar case on his back.

 

“Are you okay?” He asked him when he earned no response.

 

Yunho nodded after a long moment; a bit reluctant like he forced it out.

 

“Are you sure?” He asked again, not really convinced.

 

“Y-yeah…I-I-I’m fine…”

 

“JJ-AH!!! HURRY UP! WE’RE LATE!!!” Another person who’s standing far ahead, which Yunho assuming is one of his team members shouted. He motioned with his hand, asking him to catch up.

 

“I gotta go…take care…” with that he left, quickening his steps to join them.

 

On the other hand, Yunho stopped dead on his track. He froze like his feet were glued down to the ground, didn’t budge.

 

Honestly, that collision wasn’t really hurting. He was shocked because he thought he knows that man just now. The appearance was somewhat strayed far from the one he have seen before. But those eyes, he recognized those eyes or at least he recognize the same emotion that mirrored in those beautiful eyes.

 

And ‘JJ’? Wasn’t the same name Changmin’s been calling in his sleep?

 

“JJ-ah…don’t you know how much I love you?”

 

“To tell you the truth, I went to meet him last night…I told him that I want us to get back together.”

 

 “...but he said that we can’t…he said there’s something come up that prevent us from getting back together…”

 

What the hell just happened?

 

“Oh no…please no…not again…” He murmured. Yunho looked back, suspicion churning in his gut.

 

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A/N: Another update~ Please support me by subscribing and comments are most welcomed~ thanks^^