"Dilemma"

My 3 Identities Lover

Part 6: Dilemma

 

 

“I’m afraid it’s not even 3 months…”

 

“I’m sorry, Jae hyung…I’m sorry, JJ hyung…one day you would understand it…” He murmured.

 

He closed the door behind his back and made his way to the make-up table where he can see his own face reflected on the mirror. Heaving a meaningful sigh, it’s hard for him to look at his own face without thinking about his other two hyung-deul. They look very much the same but in personality-wise, they’re so different. So different but yet completed each other.

 

People view the twins; in his case triplet as something charming; special but not so many people are aware that they exist out of imperfection. That’s why in most of cases, one of them is born with weak personality or worst - carrying disease.

 

Imperfection and disease are two things that grew so common in their lives.

 

Gazing deeply into his own eyes; Joongie brought his fingers close to them and carefully taking out lenses. The real colour hidden underneath the lenses finally revealed.

 

Yellow eyes.

 

“It’s brownish actually...” He responded just like he’s saying it directly to Yunho.

 

“Waah...this is getting painful...” He murmured under his breath, couldn’t tell for how long he’s able to hold on.

 

When the medication is no longer effective, he knew that his days have been shortened down. He didn’t know which one is more painful – the fact that his life is slowly reaching its end or the fact that he’s going to leave his hyung deul sooner than he expected.

 

It’s Wilson’s disease – the doctor said. It’s very rare but yes it does exist and life-threatening if it left untreated. Wilson's disease occurs in 1 to 4 per 100,000 people and somehow both he and JJ were affected. But unlike him, JJ’s disease was diagnosed earlier and thanks to Jae, he was able to be saved through the liver transplant.

 

It never occurred to him that he would get affected as well; even the doctor was stumped. The only logical explanation that they could think of is most probably because they’re identical triplet. When they found out, Jae wished to do the same to him but the doctor forbids him to. The transplant caused a huge shock to Jae’s body and with the slow progress of recovery; the doctor thinks that it will endanger Jae’s life instead.

 

And Joongie surprisingly accepted his fate calmly. Unknown to JJ and Jae, he has another plan in his mind that he wished to keep it as secret. Rather than spending his time fighting with the pain and struggling to find a way to prolong his life span, he thought it’s better for him to do something valuable and meaningful. He chose to live with no regret.

 

And Yunho is the answer to his prayer.

 

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Yoochun sat slouched down on the seat and let his gaze wandered around the room; cringed when the kid on the next table burst into a loud cry and kicking his table.

 

“Ouch...my head...” He instantly nudged his fingers on his temple, massaging it softly when Junsu dropped his head on his shoulder; doing almost the same thing as him. Both of them looked far from good. They’re hangover.

 

Yunho eyed them from right to left and back to right again, up and down then up again.

 

“What’s with the sunglasses?” He pointed out the item which is really stood out than the rest.

 

And thanks to those sunglasses, people who happened to walk by their table would spare them glance more than twice. Or thrice – probably checking if they’re someone they’re familiar with; the celebrities perhaps.

 

“We...we’re not the early risers...it’s bright...and we’re sleepy...and covered up with eye bags...” Yoochun murmured; almost slurring the words when he yawned.

 

“It’s not that early...it’s already...” Yunho glanced at his wrist to check the time.

 

“...12.45...we’re here for lunch...”

 

“We run a club and it operates at night till morning...what do you expect, Yunho-ah?!” Yoochun rolled his eyes even though Yunho can’t see it. He’s annoyed and the buzzing noises, the screaming, the laughing somehow becomes the most irritating sound to his ears right now.

 

“Please tell me that you have a really good reason for bringing us here at the family restaurant in a bright broad daylight...” Junsu said his voice low and dangerous. Sensing the dark aura released from the two of his best friends, Yunho immediately apologized.

 

“I’m sorry that we have to meet here...It’s about Jaejoong actually...and it’s important...”

 

“And remind me again why we’re not doing this at the club like we always did?”

 

“JJ wrecked your table when I was surrounded by those crazy admirers...” Yunho stated in a flat tone.

 

“Aaaahhh right...” Both of them said numbly.

 

“I’m really sorry about that too...I would definitely pay for the cost...” Feeling somewhat responsible, Yunho ended up apologizing to them all over again.

 

Honestly, he really appreciates the attention he received after the makeover. It feels so great having people to look at him differently and he thought he deserves to enjoy and cherish it for as long as he wanted to. But who would have guessed JJ is scarier than Yunho thought he is?

 

Now he understands why jealousy is listed as one of the 7 grave sins. It could drive one really nuts and turned a human being into a monster.

 

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“So you’re saying that Kim Jaejoong is suffering from a split personality disease? Jaejoong, Jae and JJ?”

 

Yunho pushed the plate forward, nodded his head to Yoochun as he grabbed the tissue to wipe his mouth.

 

“And that explains their bizarre change of character...so you’re okay with it?” Junsu asked.

 

30 minutes has passed ever since they settled down on that table. The sunglasses were no longer blocking their eye contacts as he and Yoochun are fully sober now thanks to the spicy jigae they just ate.

 

“Well I guess so...he’s Kim Jaejoong still, no matter how he changes... but it came across to me at first that I couldn’t take it...that I’m going to be crazy if such a thing continue...but then I realized, loving someone is to accept that person for whoever he is; be it bad or good...and to think that someone like him would love me?” Yunho paused when a soft chuckle emitted from his mouth.

 

“...I’m lucky enough...” He finished it with his dreamy smile.

 

Yoochun and Junsu looked at each other before they joined him in smiling.

 

“Waahh~ you really love him, don’t you?” Junsu’s statement caused Yunho’s heart to flutter and his cheeks glossed in pink colour.

 

“I’m seriously proud of you, dude...” Yoochun awarded him a friendly pat on his shoulder and thinking that he couldn’t take another teasing from them, Yunho lowered down his head to hide his blushing face.

 

“Yunho-ah...”

 

“Hmmm...” Yunho lifted his face when Junsu called him.

 

“I couldn't help but to wonder...let say...if you had to choose one from the three...which one do you prefer?”

 

Yunho frowned at his water glass; giving it a thought before he answer.

 

“I don’t know...never really think about it before...but I have this feeling that Jae’s probably the dominance character...he looks...normal...”

 

“...and judging by the lack of expression and the suppressing emotion...I’d suggest that JJ and Jaejoong would be his alter ego...?Jaejoong’s bright cheerful person, happy go lucky, a sweetie...while JJ is rough, the type who loves to challenge himself...loving something extreme and dangerous...”

 

“In other word, you prefer Jae than the rest?”

 

“No...I’m saying that he looks humanly than the rest...and pity too...when I’m with him, he brings out this feeling of wanting to make him happy...he looks so sad when he’s not smiling, like he’s carrying a huge burden on his shoulder...it looks to me that he’s acting tough purposely to mask his real feeling...Jaejoong’s character is the opposite of him and JJ...he’s just simply extraordinary...” Yunho clarified after taking another sip.

 

“Ahh right...” Something popped up in Yoochun’s mind and he snapped his finger when Yunho mentioned about JJ.  

 

“Speaking about the extraordinary JJ...you did bungee jumping with him in your latest date, right?”

 

And the smiled on Yunho’s face faded away.

 

*Flashback

Yunho ducked and took a slight peek of what supposed to be 200 meter height. His knees were shaking with the slight brush of the wind.

 

“Are you ready?” He gasped and his body jolted when JJ slung his arm around his shoulder.

 

“W-why are we doing this?”

 

“Because it’s fun~!” JJ exclaimed, snickering when he saw Yunho’s pale face.

 

“On count of 3...”

 

“NO! NO! I’m not ready...” Fiercely shaking his head, Yunho pushed JJ and stepped back.

 

“Why don’t you jump first?!”

 

“Don’t be such a coward...it’s nothing...” JJ grabbed him by his arm and positioned him back on the right spot.

 

“On 3 okay...” Yunho hesitantly agreed. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

 

“1...” The evil smirk formed at the corner of his mouth and the counting stopped at just ‘1’; never really intended to finish it until 3.

 

And just like that, Yunho was pushed from the back before he could even think. The next thing he heard is his own voice; screaming wholeheartedly like his lung was about to burst.

 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

*Flashback End

 

His body shuddered when he had that flashback.

 

“Seriously...it’s nightmare! I never thought I’d jumped off building literally for him...just hope that he’s not going to ask me to cross the sea next...” and Yunho didn’t look like he’s joking when he said that.

 

JJ is unpredictable and all he could do is just hoping that JJ wouldn’t go that far. Even the bungee jumping was like a bomb dropped on his laps – neither his mental nor his physical was prepared for it because it’s supposed to be his peaceful date with Jae. It should be Jae after Jaejoong; they’re always taking turns like that. But suddenly and out of the blue that pattern broke when JJ turned up instead of Jae.

 

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“Jae...”

 

Yunho didn’t notice about it until recently. If it’s not Jaejoong then he’s going out on a date with JJ. Jae’s hardly appeared.

 

What happened to Jae? He couldn’t help but extremely concern about it. Was it because of him? But then again, it’s not something for him to be bothered because whether it’s Jae or not, it’s still Kim Jaejoong. It’s still the same person. Besides, shouldn’t he be happy now that it less one troublesome character to deal with.

 

Yes, he should be relieved. Or so he thought.

 

Yunho exited the main door of the company with the disappointment evidenced clearly on his face. He went as far as to go to Jaejoong’s company with the hope that he could meet Jae. He didn’t even know why would he think he would be able to meet him if he goes to the company – perhaps because of his businessman attire? It sounded silly. Heck, he’s acting silly.

 

“I’m sorry Yunho-shi...but Jae-shi is not available right now...he has an appointment with the investors...but I’ll let him know when he comes back...” Ye Won’s voice resounded.

 

“Damn...what the hell is wrong with me...?” Scratched that. He knew exactly what’s wrong with him. He missed Jae. Somehow, he’s longing to hear his bossy tone, to see his expressionless eyes and his cold treatment.

 

He ran his hand over his hair and ruffled it in frustration. It’s not like there’s a way for him to force Jae to come out.

 

“Yunho-ah...”

 

Yunho’s steps died when he saw who’s standing in front of him.

 

“Jae?”

 

“Yunho-ah...” The latter flashed him a grin before he came running into Yunho’s arm.

 

“Yunho-ah~ what are you doing here? Did you come for me? Do you miss me~?” He pulled himself out from the embrace and beamed out his smile at Yunho; blinding bright and wide.

 

Yunho’s body stiffened and his eyes blinked blankly.

 

“J-Jaejoongie?” His heart sank when he said that; when he realized that it wasn’t Jae.

 

“Yes?”

 

“B...but...y-you’re wearing suit...” Yunho pointed it out. Jaejoong looked down to check his own appearance and nodded; still smiling.

 

“I’m working...of course I’m wearing suit...” He shifted his gaze back at Yunho and that’s when he saw it – the sadness that shaded Yunho’s gaze. He wasn’t happy to meet him; he’s disappointed.

 

“Yunho-ah...”

 

“I...I came just to make sure you’re okay...and I miss you...” He's stuttering, he knew that. The end of the sentence barely audible and he couldn’t even remember if he said it with a smile or not.

 

“I should leave...I’ll call you later...” Yunho smiled, waved his hand and started to walk leaving Jaejoong.

 

Staring at Yunho’s back, he realized that Yunho actually came for his hyung. No matter how much he tried to ignore it, he knew that Yunho’s upset. And his heart ached.

 

“Yunho-ah!”

 

Yunho’s steps halted and he turned around facing him.

 

“Yes?”

 

“This is might be too sudden...but I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while now...” He moved closer to Yunho and stopped when they’re divided by two steps.

 

“Would you like to go to Japan with me? A vacation together...I’ve already bought the tickets...” Jaejoong’s hand fumbled inside his suit, taking it out and handed it to dumbfounded Yunho. He couldn’t hide his trembling hand as he’s waiting for Yunho to accept it.

 

Obviously weighing options, Yunho frowned at the ticket, then at Jaejoong.

 

“I...I don’t know what to say...I need to check my schedule first...”  

 

Jaejoong took another step, pulling Yunho’s hand and opened it up.

 

“It’s fine...you can take your time to think about it...” He then placed the ticket inside Yunho’s hand and closed it.

 

“I’ll be heading to Japan first...tomorrow morning...it’s business matter...this ticket dated 2 days after...I’ll be waiting for you there...” He patted Yunho’s hand just like he’s planting a hope on that piece of paper. A big hope.

 

His chin quivered even when he tried to smile and bracing himself, Jaejoong turned around and walked away.

 

“Jaejoong-ah...” Yunho called weakly.

 

But his call was left unanswered. Jaejoong ignored it and quickened his steps entering the building, leaving Yunho with a heavy heart.

 

“What the hell am I doing? It’s not like I’m cheating on him. I only love one person and it’s him...Kim Jaejoong...” Confusion evidenced on his face. He thought he’s good in handling it. But the more he’s involved with Jaejoong, the more confused he becomes?

 

“I’m sorry Jaejoong-ah...I’m really sorry...I don’t know why I’ve been acting this way...”

 

Scrunching up his face, he stared down helplessly at the ticket. The vacation. Maybe the vacation can help to fix it.

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A/N: Another update~ Please support me by subscribing and comments are most welcomed~ thanks^^

 

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Comments

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Iljimae #1
Chapter 9: I love this story, can you please update soon!!
EvaKim2804 #2
Chapter 9: author ... it's been 4 years without an update and the story is wonderful. and possibility that you continue???? ???
dee_9576 #3
Chapter 9: It's just so sad that Jae would have to leave so soon T_T
Not that I wish Joongie would die insteat but I hope they can have a happy ending..
I really love this fic author-nim.. hopefully you can consider continuing it.. hwaiting!
nuna_kun
#4
hi, how have you been? I hope you're doing good ^__^

it's been a year. Please continue this story authorsshi. It's alright to take a long time for update but please don't leave us hanging. okay? take your time and fighting !!! >___<
jjjung_jjjungee #5
Chapter 9: I'm still waiting for this fic to be finished. Hope you'll continuing it, Author shi.
junsu-shii #6
Chapter 9: Jae and Yunho!
greeniie #7
Chapter 9: author nim update please..
miss_twentytwelve
#8
Chapter 9: I realy love this fic ... Authornim are you alright ??? It have been monthsss u dissappear (●﹏●) I really miss u n your fic ... Update pleasessss, authournim ~ 10Q
JaeHoMin
#9
Chapter 9: Waaah plz jae be one time greedy for yourself ... my poor jae why u always sacrifising ? I hope everything go on well
kireyyuki #10
Chapter 9: please don't make jae die....