“Do you have any questions?” Kyungsoo asked in the middle of breakfast.  Chattered died down before I felt all eyes on me.  My smile faltered before I looked up, taking a deep breath in, “…Lu Han…is he coming back?”

           A snort in front of me sent my eyes narrowing at Soojung.  She shook her head before rolling her eyes.  She opened but Joonmyun cut her off just in time.  “We don’t know…but he says that he feels better now that he told you everything, and he hopes you can move on happily.” Joonmyun stated after a short lecture to Soojung.

           “He also said that he hopes you forgive him of his wrong doings and when he comes back, he’ll shower Seyong with gifts-by the way, why didn’t you tell us you named him Seyong!?” Minseok shook his head, “I mean, we were pretty close, you could have at least told me.” He chuckled before I unconsciously joined in.  I gave a light shrug before taking a sip of water and rubbing my stomach. 

           Sehun decided to ruin my thoughts as Seyong kicked me lightly.  I gasp and swallowed before Baekhyun turned towards me, “You okay?” He asked urgently.  I smiled a bit before nodding, “yeah…of course I’m fin-”

           “He kicked! Didn’t he!?” Chanyeol shouted before I rolled my eyes.  I caught a glimpse of Soojung as she hung her head lowly, shaking her head.  I chuckled, I am feeling the same way.

           “Yes, he kicked and no, you cannot, Chanyeol.” I stated before picking a piece of bacon and taking a bite.  The table erupted in laughter.  “She knew what you were going to say even before you said it!” Jongdae laughed before getting a light beating from the older one.

           I waited for a while before raising my voice just a bit and asking another question.  “Why did he leave?” I asked, looking around the table.  Some smiles faltered as the laughter quickly died down.  I looked over at Minseok, “Why did he leave?” I asked again hoping he’d answer, but it was Soojung instead.

           “School in America is different.  We just ended but they’re just starting their 2nd semester of college and his parents enrolled him already.  They forced him to go study in America now that he graduated high school…he’s going into business now and will be taking over the company soon.  His parents are very strict and basically had his life planned ever since he was young.” Soojung sighed, “His parents are the strictest one out of all of ours.”

           I swallowed, “…so even if we did want to get married, it wouldn’t have happened then…” I thought.  “What!” Baekhyun suddenly shouted next to me.  I looked at him with furrowing brows.  “Did we just hear you right?” Kyungsoo asked.  I looked at them in confusion before gasping, “I—did I just-”

           “Park Miyoung!” Soojung huffed, “You like Sehun, don’t you!?” her palms were on the table top, she was leaning towards me, “Don’t you ing dare lie to me!” she hissed.  My eyes grew wide at her comment before Joonmyun held her back in place.

           I shook my head harshly, “no-no! I don’t, I don’t like him! I was just saying-like, you know…” I trailed out after, “…if none of this never happened, but even so! His parents wouldn’t have approved, so-let’s drop this here.” I stated before I saw Soojung open , probably to declare that this conversation isn’t over.

           “We are not dropping this!” She stated with a determined voice and narrowed eyes.  Ahh, I was right.

           “Soojung.” Joonmyun sighed heavily, “Lower your voice.” He pleaded before she shot him a glare.  She turned towards me a second later, “You like him.” She stated as a matter of fact.  I said nothing in return as the truth had spilled out.  I like him; I like Lu Han.  I like them both, but Sehun…I’m attracted to him…I’m tied to him.

           “Miyoung, the only reason why we told you to come to the airport was because we knew that was the only way to stop Sehun from leaving…he said that you were the only one who could.” Yixing stated before Kyungsoo nodded his head, adding, “Yeah, he said that if you came…and you asked him not to go, he’d stay.  We questioned him after all this had happened, like, how would he know you would ask him to stay…how would he know you were going to come?” he said with a short pause.  “We doubted you, honestly, but he didn’t….and well, we were all wrong because you did come…just a bit too late.”

           After hearing just this much, my hands were shaking under the table.  I could feel the tears coming, but tried my best to hold them back because crying now isn’t going to be of any help.

           He wasn’t here anymore.

           And it was all because of me.

           “You know…it’s okay to cry, Miyoung.” I heard Joonmyun say as I kept my head hanging low.  “You’re not going to be able to stop your hormones from making you cry anyways.” He stated like a professional which only made me try even harder.

           “Yeah! I cry all the time! It helps relieve all my worries!” Tao added, and that was the comment that started it.  The tears came streaming down my cheeks uncontrollably.  I sniffed and wiped my tears away with the back of my hand, but they came anyways. 

           “Ahhh~ Don’t cry!” Tao blurted as he saw tears coming down.  The rest of the boys scolded him as I felt Baekhyun's arm around my shoulders, patting me, comforting me.  “Just let it out.” He whispered. 

           “You’ll feel a lot better when it’s over.” Kyungsoo added with a head nod.

           Silent tears became deep hiccups and uncontrollable breathing.  My chest rose before I in my breath and coughed harshly.  Seyong could feel the distress I was in.  I was able to make out his feet lightly running across my stomach as I touched them.  I heard a light sigh in front of me before someone moved to the right of me.  “Calm down, Miyoung…we don’t need you choking.” Soojung stated as she lightly patted my shoulders.

           That was probably a small thought she had but to me, it literally changed my views.  I unconsciously turned towards her before she hugged me lightly.  “Seyong’s going to act up if you don’t calm down.” She stated.  Even through the hiccups, I could hear some murmurs from the members, but I let them fade away. 

           “Gosh! Continue eating!” She scolded the boys, “Girl talk right now.” She snapped before I managed a small chuckle while wiping my eyes.

           I lifted my head up and turned to her, “Thank you…” I muttered before she shrugged, “it’s fine.” She stated with a small smile.  “You know…” She sighed, “Sehun…he really cares for you.  And I’m sure Lu Han does too, but Sehun… he’s changed because of you.  What they did was really immature and super inappropriate, but I know he’s learned his lesson.” She paused and looked away, “When his parents told him that he was going to be studying abroad right after graduation, he freaked.”

           Soojung looked at me intensively, “He knew he was going to go aboard, just not that soon.  And even when we…sort of had a thing, he didn’t really care if he left me behind.” She stated softly.  “The only reason why he didn’t want to leave…” she shrugged, “was because of you.”

           I shook my head, “Are you trying to make me cry again?” I asked quietly, trying to control of voice.  Soojung’s shoulders relaxed before she chuckled, “no…but I guess I’ll let you eat your breakfast.” She stated as she got up and moved back to Joonmyun's side.

           The guys had ignored us as we had a little talk.  I’m…honestly glad that Soojung has changed.  At least she’s trying to be a better person.  And I’m glad she told me all of that, everything about Sehun.  He was an , but I remember so many of the sweet things he’s done for me.  All the small things he’s done that absolutely had a big impact on me.  I’ll remember those things the most.

           Now that he’s overseas, I’ll just continue living my life.  It was my fault.  I was the one who sent them…him, away, and I was the one who wanted to do this all by myself, so now I have to live with the consequences.

           I looked around at the boys and Soojung happily fooling around. I sighed in content; I can do this by myself.

...It's been 3 months and I am so sorry! This semester's taking a toll on me and I want to cry and cry and rant and cry some more. I'm just-idk, going crazy at this point. Today's my last day of spring break and I just decided that I should give y'all an update.  I'm so sorry this chapter isn't the best, and honestly, there probably won't be another update until school ends. And because of that, I'm terribly sorry again!

But - I hope you guys have had a great year so far and continue to do so! I hope some of you are satisfied with this chapter...maybe? Yeah.

Ehhh, alrighty. I'm out-

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--miyoung:))