As I promised, I tried to update soon. I hope you like it  ^__^ (wedding is coming soon!! ^^ )

 

Chapter 8 – Prince’s confession

Jiyong’s POV

A soft and warm hand travelled on my face; caressed my hair. It feels so good, so warm. I refused to open my eyes; afraid to wake up. It felt like him, Seunghyun. Is he… with me now?

I suddenly opened my eyes to see him. But I came face to face with the smiling face of my best friend, Seungri. And he was not caressing my hair.

No. Seunghyun was not here with me. Then it was all a dream? But I felt his soft touch, I really felt it. Why I need him so much?

“Hey… Are you okay?”

I blinked at Seungri’s still smiling face and I just nodded and turned my back to him.

I felt the bed moved so I understood that Seungri sat down on the bed near me. This time he really caressed my head.

“It is almost dinner time sleepy head,” he said.

“I won’t eat,” I murmured.

He shook me from my shoulders lightly, “Come on, get up and tell me what’s going on.”

I sighed and turned to him, “I don’t feel like talking.”

He held me from my arms and forced me to get up.

“No, we will talk right now.”

I finally got up from the bed even if I don’t want to and let Seungri to drag me along to the balcony of my room. Then we sat down together.

Seungri was right; the sun was about to set. I couldn’t believe I had slept that long. I really don’t remember what happened after my long crying session; I guess I just fell into sleep right after.

“Jiyong. We are best friends, right?” asked Seungri holding my hands.

“Of course,” I said trying to smile at him.

“Then why aren’t you talking to me anymore Jiyong? You are so sad and nervous in these days and you don’t speak to me at all.”

“Seungri…” I just said looking at him with wide eyes from shock.

I only realized that I didn’t share my worries and problems with him anymore when he told me now.  Since I came to Calima I only talked to myself. Seungri was always here with me but I didn’t speak to him.

“I am so sorry…” I finally said looking into his eyes.

He just smiled, “No Jiyong you don’t need to be sorry. I am just worry about you and I want to share your worries just to make your burden lighter, my friend.”

I smiled back, “Thank you, thank you so much.”

“So! Now tell me why you wanted to run away!”

Then I suddenly remembered my main problem with the question of Seungri. I gulped down hard and I felt the blood rushed to my face. I realized the anger that I felt earlier had gone but I feel extremely shy right now. Seungri was my best friend but for me it was hard to talk to him about this matter.

“It is not a thing… I can talk with you,” I said looking at everywhere but him.

“So who can you talk with?”

“Nobody, I guess,” I said and sighed.

“You will talk with me then! Come on Jiyong!” he insisted.

He was right; I should at least talk to him because there is no way I can talk about this matter with anyone! But how?

“Ahhh!!! This is so disturbing!”

Seungri finally saw the red face of mine that I was trying to hide even if it was dark and he yelled, “It is about the wedding?!”

I jumped to my feet and held his arm, “Don’t yell like this! Everybody in Calima will hear us thanks to you! Let’s talk inside,” I said and made him to follow me to my room.

“Are you afraid? Is this the reason?” he asked looking at my face with sympathy in his eyes.

“I don’t want this! This is the problem!”

“But you have already said that you would marry with the king!” yelled Seungri in confusion.

“Yes, I said yes to the marriage. But Jaejoong said that… it must happen at the wedding night but… I just thought that we just need to get marry according to Aina. I just… didn’t think about the… wedding night,” I said and bent my head down with shame.

“Are you really that much silly?!” yelled Seungri.

I raised my head and looked at my friend in anger, “I am not silly! You don’t understand!” I yelled back at him.

He sighed and we just sat down in silence and waited to calm ourselves down.

“You don’t like the king?” suddenly asked Seungri.

“It is not like that I don’t like him… it is just… I really don’t want to marry with him. I can never see him… like this, you know.”

“You never ever see somebody like this so I really don’t get serious your answer right now,” he said smirking.

“Seungri!” I said and punched his shoulder lightly.

“It is not a lie! You didn’t even care about the beautiful girls around you back in Isilnore! While all of our friends were talking about young girls and boys, your only dream was to see Calima! So I am not surprised; it is even hard to think you as a lover of someone,” he laughed, “Kwon Jiyong never falls in love.”

I escaped my eyes from him because his words really broke my heart but I guess I couldn’t hide my sadness in my voice, “I am not a cold hearted person, I can love,” I said but my voice cracked.

Seungri immediately held my hand, “I am sorry to hurt you Jiyong. But what I am trying to say is you never give a chance to love. You always build a wall around your heart; you never ever think about to fall in love.”

I looked at him in surprise; sure his words made me shocked but also they made me think. I looked at the ground and thought. Is it real? Am I really like this? It is true that I never think about “love”? I am really trying to ignore the “love”? I don’t know.

“At first… I really didn’t like him; he was making me nervous but… in these days I like being around him,” I suddenly confessed.

“This is really good my friend. It is okay to give a chance.”

Suddenly he reached to my head and ruffled my hair harshly.

“Finally you are acting normal! You should accept that king is really a handsome man!”

I bent my head down a little to hide my blush, “He is.”

Seungri continued to his teasing, “He is strong, clever, kind and handsome. He is the king of Calima. What else you ask for my friend?”

“If you like him so much why don’t you take the king for yourself?” I said teasing him this time.

“Are you jealous?” he asked smirking.

“Ah! Seungri!” I yelled and punched him on the shoulder again.

“King Seunghyun is someone everybody dreams of, Jiyong but I have got someone in my mind,” said suddenly Seungri making me surprise.

“Who is this someone? Please tell me!”

“No. If I satisfy from our conversation tonight, I will tell you in the end”, he said smirking.

I crossed my arms on my chest and turned my back to him, “You are really a bad friend.”

“Now, tell me how you feel around him,” said Seungri firmly.

I slowly turned to him again but I kept my eyes on the ground.

“Excitement, most of the time. When we first met I could look into his eyes but in these days I am trying to escape my eyes from him because… When I look into his eyes I felt something tickling in my stomach,” I sighed heavily, “But even if I feel excited and nervous around him somehow it feels so right to be near him. I really feel calm and relaxed especially when he touched me.”

“So as I expected, this horse ride together was your little game to our king?” asked Seungri laughing.

I couldn’t say anything but joined to his laugh. I feel really relaxed now. Thanks to my friend Seungri.

“Is it that obvious?” I asked finally, covering my face with my hands.

“I don’t think king realized this because he was just too worry about you so don’t worry,” said Seungri winking at me.

I also hoped he wouldn’t realize this. It is not my type to do this kind of things you know; I am not good at love affairs and I am inexperienced but at that moment I really needed him and I moved with my instincts.

I felt Seungri held my hands again so I looked at him.

“So… you obviously like him. Then what is the problem my friend?” he asked softly.

I looked at our joined hands and thought for a while. It was too complicated. Half of mine wanted to get close to him but on the other hand the other half of mine was still refusing to be with him; in the deep in my heart I was still blaming him for this marriage. Even if I know nobody is to blame, I guess I am trying to find someone to blame.

“It is about the conditions that we are in Seungri. I am forced to marry with him; I didn’t choose him. I didn’t fall in love with him.”

“It goes the same with Seunghyun. He was also forced to marry with you Jiyong.”

“You are saying this as if it’s a bad thing,” I said and pouted.

“No, no… Jiyong it is not a bad thing. What I am trying to say is maybe you should try to get along with these conditions, you know.”

I just nodded. I know I should try but it’s hard, too hard.

“I understand what you are trying to say, Jiyong. It is not an amazing thing to get marry at such a young age even before have a chance to fall in love. But you know what? His majesty is the saddest person about this issue, can’t you see? He cares about you the most; he is trying his best not to hurt you.”

“But he will hurt… soon,” I said suddenly.

“The only thing in your mind is the wedding night, isn’t it?” asked Seungri calmly.

I took my knees to my chest and put my forehead on my knees, “What else I can think?” I said.

“Can’t you just trust him a little? If you try to see his good intention and believe him maybe things will get better, Jiyong.”

“I wanted this, too,” I whispered.

“Then what is preventing you? Proud? I know it is not. Because I know you have a big heart Jiyong. Earlier I joked about your cold heart but in fact you are full of love, I know this so just give a space to his majesty in your heart.”

“But I just can’t… prevent myself blaming him,” I said still hiding my face.

“You should give up on this blaming game Jiyong, you know it is not right!” said Seungri rising his voice.

I felt a little anger in his voice and he was right. I know what I felt was wrong but I was so hopeless. I finally raised my head up.

“I know it is stupid! But I sometimes can’t help myself but feel anger! What can I do?” I shouted.

Then suddenly we heard a soft knock on the door. I tried to calm myself a little and softly answered, “Yes?”

The door opened and Shena, one of my maids, appeared.

“The dinner is ready, your highness.”

I smiled at her, “Thank you Shena but can you inform the king that I can’t join him tonight?”

Shena just looked at me in surprise and then looked at Seungri as if she was waiting for some help from him. I saw Seungri just shrugged.

“Yes, your highness,” she said and then left the room.

“Bad move,” said Seungri and threw himself on my bed. I walked and then sat down near him.

“I really don’t fell like eating,” I murmured.

“Even if you don’t feel like eating you should at least go and deliver your excuse by yourself. King might think something else, you know.”

I sighed and then lie down near my friend on the bed.

“He didn’t even come to see me,” I murmured.

“He came to see you while you were sleeping.”

I opened my eyes widely and looked at him, “Really?” I asked in excitement.

Oh! Then maybe it was not a dream!

Seungri turned his head and looked at me, “You are weird, really weird Jiyong.”

“I said I like him, didn’t I?” I said and snorted.

“You know what… I guess this is what your reaction to love.”

“What are you saying again Seungri?”

“You never fall in love, right? Maybe you are afraid because of these unknown feelings so you chose to deny. That’s why you are getting angry.”

I closed my eyes and sighed, “Maybe,” I whispered.

I still can’t decide about my feelings but it was true that one moment I feel butterflies in my stomach and one moment I just feel anger. Is it because I don’t want to accept my feelings? What about Seunghyun? He really likes me? Or he is just protecting me and being nice with me because of his task? But he… even caressed my hair couple of times, right? And his eyes… His eyes are always looking at me lovingly. I am the one who is being cruel… ahh.. what to do?

I turned to look at my friend, “Still… this conversation didn’t help my main problem, you know… wedding night.”

“We should first find the real reason. Are you afraid because it will be your first? Or you don’t want to do it because it is king Seunghyun?”

“I am just… afraid and I feel like it is unfair.”

“Then your solution is the king. You should lower your walls down a little and try to see his heart. Try to know him, understand him. Stop escaping from him.”

“It is easy to say…”

“Sure it will be hard to do Jiyong! Never forget this; you will be the Tari of Calima. Can you imagine the power that you will have? At least think about this.”

It is unfair, it is really unfair. But I had no choice. I accepted this marriage and I will never go back so… I guess Seungri was right.

So I slowly got up from the bed and looked at my creased clothes.

“Let’s go to dinner after I change my clothes.”

Seungri looked at me with wide eyes, “Are you serious?”

I just nodded and went to change my clothes. Usually maids help me to get ready because these clothes really require many accessorize and it was hard to wear! So I chose a simple one.

While we were walking to dinner room I suddenly remembered.

“Hey! Now tell who do you like?” I whispered into Seungri’s ear.

Seungri giggled and whispered back, “Sir Daesung.”

Before I even got over my shock, I suddenly saw Seunghyun coming to our way. My heart started to play drums again.

We both deeply bowed to him.

“Your highness, when you didn’t come to dinner, I was worried about your health,” he said gently.

Why I am so happy that he was worried about me? I don’t know the reason but I managed to smile a little to the king, “I am sorry to make you worry your majesty. I feel okay now so I decided to join the dinner.”

“Oh, I am happy to hear that,” he said and then he offered his arm to me, “May I accompany to you?”

I looked at him and I saw him smile again. Then I linked my arm with his, “Thank you.”

We walked together to the dinner room and I unconsciously smiled all the time. He was worried about me. He cared about me. King likes me, right? I smiled widely.