a/n: WARNING! DRAMA ahead and coldhearted Chen.

and also, i'm slowly revealing things starting this chapter... so watch out... *evil laugh*

“Sei, dinner’s ready.” Chen called, knocking on the door.
 

Seirin didn’t even spare a glance at the door, hugging her knees closer to herself as she try to be as small as possible. She’s breaking inside and it hurts so bad. Knowing that she has no one to help her put herself together is making it worse that it’s almost unbearable. Especially knowing that the only person who can help her had turn his back on her. Now she feels truly alone.

Chen knocked once again and when Seirin still did not answer he opened the door himself. Seirin didn’t move an inch as Chen walked over towards her, sitting beside her on the bed.

“Are you still mad at me?” Chen asked, sighing when Seirin did not answer. “I’m sorry, okay? I just… look, Sei, you can hate me all you want but please eat something. You’ve been here for two days yet you haven’t eaten a single thing! Please don’t do this to yourself.” he pleaded.

Seirin would have been moved by Chen’s pleas. They were the best of friends and she knows him as much as he knows her. She could tell how frustrated he was by the sound of his voice and she would have relented easily. But everything has changed. They weren’t the best of friends anymore. Chen had thrown that the day he chose to betray her.

Chen was silent for a few minutes and Seirin did not make any indication that she would be changing her mind on ignoring everyone in this household (in this country, she thought grudgingly) anytime soon.

“I only did it for you, you know.” Chen said in a tiny voice, head bowed as he fiddled with is fingers. “I just wanted to help you.”

“Liar.” Seirin spat in a whisper. She kept her head tucked inside her knees, ignoring the fact that she’d be sore because of being in that position for too long.

Chen sighed. “Please, Sei, believe me. I didn’t want you to get married to that brat-”

“You and your father wanted to take over Raijin that’s why you used the situation I was in so you can get your hands on my grandfather’s position without risking dying in the process.” Seirin cut Chen scornfully, raising her head and glaring at Chen with tears her eyes.

“That’s not true, Seirin!” Chen defended.

“Really?” Seirin let out a sarcastic chuckle, cringing at how hollow she sounded. “Then why am I here, Chen? Why am I imprisoned in these four walls like how I was back at my grandfather’s house?” she let tears fall from her eyes, it’s not as if she could stop them anyways. “Why did you force me to make a choice?”

Chen’s eyes were misty as regret shadowed them. “I can’t bear to think that you’ll be married to that Shinjirou, Seirin.”

“Why not?” Seirin scoffed, tilting her head so she wasn’t looking at Chen. It hurts looking at him because she can’t help but think how he had destroyed their friendship, something she cherished with all her heart. “You could have just let me get married to that brat and have your father assassinate my grandfather for all I care. Why did you have to destroy us, Chen? Don’t I mean anything to you but just another pawn in your endless schemes?”

“You know that’s a lie, Sei. I do care about you!”

“Then why, Chen? Why would you do this to me? I thought you would help me! I trusted you!”

“But I love you! And I just can’t let you get married to some prick!” Chen bursted out, fist clenched at his sides as he stood up. “Not Shinjirou. Not Kris. Not anyone.”

Seirin is dumbfounded. She gave Chen a bewildered look. Did she hear him right? No… she must have heard wrong.

Chen’s eyes were moist and he wiped away the tear before it even fell, blinking his eyes to stop the others from escaping. He then looked at Seirin, regret evident on his eyes as well as sadness.

“I love you, Seirin. For a long, long time. When I heard about the marriage arrangement, you don’t know how I wanted to take you away myself. But I know I can’t go up against your grandfather, I’m not stupid. So I sought my father’s help. When you went to Korea and didn’t even bother to tell me about it, you don’t know how worried I was. I would have went after you but my father stopped me, knowing that your grandfather would get to you through me if I make a wrong move. And now, I kind of regret it. If I had gone after you immediately then maybe… maybe you wouldn’t have fallen in love with some other guy.”

Seirin would have hugged Chen, seeing how broken her best friend was. Chen had always been special to her. Their bond goes so deep that it’s past the boundaries of simple friendship. But with everything that she heard, and everything that Chen had done, she’s not sure of what to do anymore.
“You told me that you would have gladly married me if your grandfather had said so.” there was somewhat an accuse in Chen’s voice. He was hurt. “What happened, Seirin? You know as well as I do that we had gone past beyond being friends. We had been more than that and we could be so much more. Have I gone too complacent that you forgot about it?”

More tears flowed down from Seirin’s eyes as she saw how broken Chen was. Chen had always been strong, someone she can always rely on. Knowing that she had somehow broken him eats her up inside. She knows that everything he said is right. They were more than friends. But they did not label it because it’s awkward to put a name on it, and besides, they were comfortable with each other.

But Seirin had never expected that it could be love. At least not on her part. Chen might have been her first kiss and everything a first boyfriend could be, the first person she felt so strongly about, something that was past how a friend cares for another. But she thought that it was just a phase. They were still too young to know what real love was. It was a phase that she gladly accepted and experienced with Chen.

And now Chen is confessing; it was not just a phase or anything for him. He had fallen for her. And now he’s asking what had happened.

“Kris happened.” she answered, the only reason she can think of.

“Kris.” Chen nodded forlornly. “I know I should have just defied my father and went after you. If I did, then you wouldn’t have met Kris. And maybe, just maybe… you wouldn’t have forgotten about me. Maybe you would still be mine.”

“But you didn’t, Chen. I met Kris. And-"

“And you love him. You hate me for bringing you back because you love him. All this defiance is not about escaping your grandfather anymore, is it? It’s because you love him. It’s because you met him.” Chen asked coldly, only his eyes showing how hurt he really was.

Seirin shook her head. “It’s not only because of him, Chen.” she still cares for him, no matter how angry and disappointed she was with him, she just can’t break his heart that bad. He may be right that she’s upset because of leaving Kris to get married to him but by telling him that it was because of something else, she hopes that it would mend his heart, even for just a bit. She’s so torn between being angry at Chen for what he had done and afraid of hurting him too that she thinks she’d go insane.

“Then what? If this isn’t just because you can’t bear to be married to someone you used to care for with all your heart, just because you have fallen for someone else, then what?” Chen asked, sarcasm lacing his voice, bellying the pain behind it.

“It’s because of everything that happened to me when I left, Chen. It’s because I found a family. It’s not just because I met Kris. I found a home.” fresh tears fell from Seirin’s eyes. Just when she thought she couldn’t possibly shed tears anymore, the thought of the home she had been taken into breaks her heart even more. “I can’t believe that I left without saying goodbye. I couldn’t even thank Joonmyun…”

“Joonmyun… he didn’t tell you anything about who he is, did he?” Chen drawled, a blank look on his face. “You lived with him… but he didn’t tell you who he is.”

Sierin is confused. Well, Joonmyun was a secret agent. If Chen was referring to that, then Joonmyun didn’t breathe a thing about his glorious days, and she didn’t pry either. Of course she was curious as to how Joonmyun was connected to the person who had told her to go to him, but she couldn’t have just gone to Joonmyun and asked about his past. It was rude and she wasn’t in her place to ask.

“Kim Joonmyun… there was a reason why you were told to go to him in the first place.” Chen said, a dark cold look seeping from his eyes.

“W-what?” Seirin frowned. “Wait… do you know about that person who called me that night? Tell me, Chen. Do you know that person?” she stood up to face Chen better.

Just when she thought Chen’s schemes couldn’t go any further, just when she was feeling somewhat a little guilty of practically making him do the things he did in the first place, he went and say something about how she ended up going to Joonmyun. If Chen knows something, then it’s a different story altogether.

“Kim Joonmyun…” Chen trailed, purposely ignoring Seirin‘s question. “He’s your father.”

Silence enveloped the whole room. For a fleeting moment, Seirin made asked herself if she had lost her hearing or if Chen had really uttered those words. All her memories with Joonmyun were suddenly playing inside her head; the first time they had ever met in his office, how shock he was when she called him by his codename. She could still remember the look on his face when she showed him the picture where he and her mother was in. Maybe that is why he looked so surprised. Maybe it’s the reason why he seemed so nervous when she told him that she had not met her father before and that her mom never had married. She could still remember how he would affectionately pat her head or laugh at how she and Sehun would bicker like kids.

Oh, now she realize why she felt so at ease with Sehun. Because he’s her brother. She was so at ease being with them, not just because they made her feel that she belongs to their family, but because they are her family.

But that would mean that Kris…

“No…” Seirin shook her head, her knees giving up on her. She fell to the bed with tears streaming down her eyes. “You’re lying…” If Joonmyun was her dad, then it would not only mean that Sehun is her brother but… Kris too.

Unwillingly, all the memories she had shared with Kris were the only thing that occupied her mind. That scary scowl he always have that had somehow she had grown frond of, the kisses, hugs, and even the fights they had, they all came rushing back at her, striking her like a physical blow. And of course, that night they shared before she left him and leave with Chen back here in Japan, even that night before Kris had confessed and they had started trying how far they could go with their relationship, that night they both don’t remember… she can’t bear to think that the feelings of comfort and affection she has for Kris was only because they were siblings.

“I am not lying, Seirin. Your father is Kim Joonmyun. I don’t know why he didn’t tell you that, but I know and I’m sure. He left before you were born and your mother didn’t marry at all. Don’t you ever wonder why no one in Raijin even as much as mention your father’s name? It’s not just because your grandfather hated him for stealing your mother’s heart… but it’s because he is their enemy.”

“Shut up! I don’t believe you! Get out!” Seirin shouted as sobs started escaping from . She tried so hard to stop herself from listening to Chen’s words, try to tell herself that he’s only doing it so she would stop longing for Kris. But at the back of her mind, she knows that Chen wasn’t lying. He was telling the truth. She believes him… because she could feel that Joonmyun is really her father and his blood is the one running in her own veins.

And the truth hurts. The feeling of finally knowing that there were people who she can call her family is shadowed by the pain of the fact that she could not love the man whom she had given her heart to.

Briefly, she wonders if this is how her mother had felt when she had to be separated from Joonmyun. It might have been different circumstances, but it’s still the same case; they both have to live away from the person they love with their whole hearts. Is this the price they had to pay for being her grandfather’s family?

“You can call me a liar, Seirin. But you can’t lie to yourself.” Chen said coldly.

“Get out, Chen.” Seirin replied, her words sounding choked. She wonders how she still could manage to talk with the sobs tearing themselves out of her and stealing her breath. “Please don’t make me regret ever being friends with you…”

Chen was silent for a minute as he hovered before Seirin. His hands were clenched so tight and a drop of blood fell from his right hand, his knuckles clutched too tight that he had torn his own palm.

“You can’t leave, Sei. You are stuck with me.” he said before turning and leaving.

Chen’s words replayed inside Seirin’s head over and over again like a broken player. Her chest was aching so bad that it felt like someone had stabbed his with a knife with a jagged edges, giving it a hard twist as if wanting her to feel hell while she’s still living.

And the worst thing is how torn she was about knowing that truth about Joonmyun. She should be happy because she had finally found someone she can call a family. But she couldn’t. Because accepting Joonmyun would mean she had to let Kris go. And letting Kris go is too late now. She had not just given him herself physically, she had not only trusted him. He already owns her heart. And there’s no getting it back.
 

***
 

Chen slumped on the door after slamming it close. Tears pricked his eyes and they were falling before long. He couldn’t reign the raging feelings inside him, he barely felt the cut he had done to himself. He raked his own hair using his uninjured hand, clenching his teeth forcefully as he try to stop himself from seeing how torn and broken Seirin was in his own mind.

What had he done?

“Why did you lie, Chen?”

It was his father, Kai. Or Kim Jongin as he was formerly known. Chen felt like turning to his father and blaming him for everything that was happening. It was Kai’s manipulative plans and Chen had just been forced to go with the flow. But he can’t. Because Chen knows inside him that he had used his father’s plans to get Seirin for himself, just as how his father had used Seirin’s situation for his own plans of tearing Raijin apart. Yes, they were one ed-up family of scheming bastards who would not stop to get their hands on what they want even if it means using and hurting the people they care for.

“I didn’t lie. Joonmyun is her father.” Chen replied coldly, standing straight and putting on a mask of indifference he had long since perfected.

Kai walked over towards him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “But you purposely left things out, Jongdae. It’s as good as lying.”

Chen shrugged his father had and glared at him. “You had made me this way, father.” he said the last word rather mockingly. “For someone to get what he wants, he should put inhibitions aside, forget about everything and solely focus on that goal he had set his mind on. Because human emotions, as much as it can make you determined to reach that goal, it could also be the cause for your downfall. Well, I’ve used my brain to get what my heart wants. You may have not taught me that, but you had shown me how it’s done. So don’t you dare tell me what is as good as lying.”
Chen refused to show his father his weakness so he turned his back on him and decided that anywhere would be better than being with his father at the moment.

“I thought she’s your best friend and you are willing to do anything to make her happy.” Kai called out before Chen was out of range.

Chen stopped for a moment but didn’t turn to face his father, “She is my everything and I love her.” he said. “But I’ve already gone this far, there’s no turning back. If I do… I’d lose her forever. I’ve already lost her trust. The only thing I can do is to keep her by my side… even if her heart is nowhere near mine.”

And then he left, knowing he would break down again. He had learned long ago that stripping your soul in front of anyone would do you nothing good. Kai should understand his actions, he was the one who had raised him in the first place.

When Chen was out of sight, Kai sighed to himself. What had he done to his own son? Had he been wrong, raising Chen the way he had? He only wanted to show Chen how to protect himself from being a puppet of this cruel place they call the world. He had only wanted the best for his own son. Was the boy he had raised to be the best turned out to be a monster?

a/n: WHAT THE HECH DID I JUST POST????

Kris: WHAT THE HECK DID YOU JUST MADE ME DO???!!!!

Lay: HOLY UNICORNS AND RAINBOWS!!! KRIS, YOU'VE JUST COMMITTED !

Tao: What's ?

Lay: It's when you have ual relationship with a relative. Especially close ones, like siblings!

Tao. *nods* Oh. *loads information and then eyes got wide like D.O.'s* OH MY GUCCI!!!! KRIS WU YIFAN!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!

Kris: *glares at author* I hate you.

a/n: Be quiet BenBen!!