Like what Mr. Kang wants, I live at SNSD's dorm. Mostly it was only me and this spacious dorm. They're always busy but yesterday we are all sitting here at the living room. Those ladies were very good to me except with Jessica. She's kinda avoiding me.

And now, It was a bad day for me and Jessica because were the only two whose here at this huge dorm. She's in her room and Im here at the living room dying because of the silence. I want to knock on her door and have some little talk but I know its not a good thing for her.

An hour past and Jessica finally stepped out in her room. She head to the kitchen to get some water. I really want to talk to her. And maybe say sorry about the kiss? And pleased her to stop avoiding and hating me? Ugh. Whatever.

I stand up and block her way. As expected she stepped backward . . Once. . Twice . "Stop." I said.

"Why are you always keeping a long distance between us?" She was a bit surprised by that question. I dont know why. So here I am again guessing whats her reason. Maybe, she's not expecting me to noticed her gestures. You know, the avoiding thing.

"Im not" She simply denied and walk to the right but I blocked her again.

"You just did. Youre always doing that."

"I dont know" I can feel that she was uncomfortable.

"Ok. Now, you know. Tell me, is it because of that kiss?" She instantly look into my eyes.

Surprised.

"You know about that k-ki-ss?"

I nod.

A moment of silence. I look into her eyes from left to her right eye and then to her lips. Both of us were lost.

Am I going to kiss her again? Will she let me do it again? I was thinking a lot and I didnt notice earlier that her eyes were half close already.

Is she waiting for a kiss? I was leaning slowly when she suddenly pulled away and left.

My Goodness, what did you just plan to do?!

I walked to my room and hooped on my bed. Youre insane, Sam. I fell asleep.

Its already dark and the others were not here yet. I peeped on Jessica's room since it was open. She's not there. I try to find her around but I didnt saw her. Where is she? I decided to read a book wearing my eyeglasses. But after a several pages I closed it and find some place to read it without having a headache. Silence really kills me. And It was so lonely to be alone here.

I came up to the rooftop and saw Jessica. She's sitting on a bench and spacing out. I positioned myself on her back a few meters away. The scenery was perfect. A girl sitting on a bench under the moonshine, but theres something wrong. And its not perfect. This girl was lonely.

 I slowly walk and sit beside her. "Hi." I said

"Hi--Why are you wearing eyeglasses?" She suddenly ask.

"Ah. . Im reading this book and I cant read this without this." I said

"Why dont you just wear some contact lenses?"

"Hmm. . That was brilliant. I like gray eyes. But I dont want to wear some."

"You looks so smart wearing that."She commented and locked herself to silence again.

"Whats on your mind?" I ask.

She didnt answer.

"Let me guess then. Youre thinking of killing someone. Someone who dare to kissed you without your permission. Is that what youre thingking?" I look at her and still, I saw a poker face.

"Im sorry about that. Its just that people do crazy things sometimes. I know you hate me and you've all the rights to do that. I respect it. Im sorry for being so annoying." I was thinking to leave because she might want to be alone but right then. .

"It bothers me.--" She said looking at the moon.

"What?" I ask. She look at me and smile a little.

"The kiss. It was my first time to kissed a girl and a stranger. Actually, in that moment I dont know what to do. I cant do anything because my body was frozen. You took away my first kiss with a girl. Did you know that?. . Are you really that kind of person? Kissing all the strangers when youre drunk?"

This was the first time she spoke to me more than a sentence.

"No". Its true. I dont usually kissed a stranger when Im drunk and Im sure of it.

"You sure? Then why. .did-- "

"Because I liked you?" She was surprised again. shut up again. "Dont worry, Im not going to ask you to like me too. I wouldnt let anyone to like me because I beg for it. Being hate by someone was much acceptable than pleasing or forcing everybody to like you, right?"

"Why cant you just avoid me like what Im doing everyday?" She pause. "Can you do that for me?" I feel so down by her request.

"Okay" Its not okay.

"Its easy" It will be hard for me. She didnt talk again.

I pulled out my phone on my pocket and write something. I search for a song. Pushed the play button and leave it beside her.

The songs were I Can't make you Love Me by Kelly Clarkson followed by Summer Love - 1D.

I hide beside the wall and let myself stare at this beautiful lady.

Why does the person you love the most doesnt love you?

Why does love means you'll do everything just to make that person happy even if that means suffer to one of them?

Why does love means happiness?

Where is the happiness on me now?

Why it isnt simple as I love you and I love you too?

Yes, you read it right. I love her already.

After that night I decided to grant her wish. To avoid her. Im good at ignoring or avoiding someone. It was easy for me but for a girl like her? Its hard. Really hard.

----

After that night she grant my wish. She's avoiding me now. Im supposed to be happy now but why am I feeling more likely loneliness? The more she still on keeping our distance away the more she becomes close to Tiffany. They were always together. Tiffany always brings her anywhere and Its clearly seen that she's happy. They were both happy. Is there something between them? Her phone was still on mine. That night, when she left this phone playing a song after that night I didnt have the courage to give it back. And now, everynight and then I will always play it.

There's a note here on her phone saying:

"Youre my Summer Love Jessica. Forever. BUT I know that Im not your's and I cant make you love me. Wish granted"

-Alice Everdeen

I dont know what to feel about it but I'll always feel sad. Why?