“______.” I heard my name for the millionth time and then heard some noises at the door of my house. Oh God, I just hope he stops screaming my name. People will start spreading rumors and it isn’t good for him. He’s a member of BAP and be involved in a scandal will ruin his image.

I raised my head and wiped the tears that were falling freely from my eyes. Why am I weak? Why do I always have to cry in these situations? I know why, because I love him. Because I'm afraid of losing him and because he’s the only one that I will love for the rest of my life. I've had a disappointment in love and I don’t want to have any more.

Stupid book. Why have I done the crap of the steps? They only hurt a person. But it's my fault. I want him to cry so I already knew what would happen. Why, I haven’t thought before about this? I just think after the things are done. This is my problem. Aish, Li ______, you're a pabo.

I got up from the ground and looked up to my bed. My eyes saw the black cover of the book, and another tear fell from my eyes. Stop, ______, it’s just missing one more step and then it ends. I sat on the bed and passed with my trembling fingers, by the cover of the book. One more step and then I will deliver the book. I don’t know if Jongup will cry, but even so, at the end of the steps, I have to deliver it because it doesn’t belong to me.

I opened it slowly and passed with my fingers through the pages, feeling the contrast of the pages, through the skin of my fingers. I stopped at the last page and saw that the page was tarnished. It had two gray drops, their shape seems to be two tears. Does the person who wrote this also cried as me? I sniffled and bit my lip slightly. I wiped the remaining tears from my eyes with the palm of my hand and read the tenth and final step.

'Tenth step: Tell him you want to end your relationship.'

'PS: If he cries, you don’t really need to break, because I know that you love him.'

I closed the book and put it in the drawer and closed it. Another cut in the heart. I think at the end of everything, I will not survive. How will I be able to say these bitter words to Jongup? I'll shatter his world, no, I will shatter our world. And if he wants to break up too? And if I manage to make him stop loving me? Oh, this can’t happen. Oh God, what have I done?

I got up from bed and I approached the window of my room. I looked down and saw that Jongup was leaning on my door. His head was resting on the door, his right arm was leaning against the white wall next to the door and his chest rose and fell compulsively. Seeing him in this state broke my heart into a thousand pieces. He was like that, because of me. I was the one who was to blame.

I stepped away from the window and walked slowly to the door of my house. Thankfully my parents had gone to work today. If they were at home, I couldn’t have done these steps without being questioned. As I walked barefoot, I supported myself on the wall. My knees were still weak. Why am I a weak person? Sometimes I hate myself for being so weak, but in those moments, Jongup appears and supports me, but not today.

Finally, I reached the front door and put my hand on the doorknob. I sighed, closed my eyes for a few seconds and sighed again. I wanted to appear serious. Finally, I opened my eyes, nodded with the head mildly to no one in particular and swirled the knob, opening the door a little. My eyes stopped at Jongup, as his eyes targeted my face.

“______.” He said my name, opening the door wider and stepped inside my house. He hugged me tightly and suddenly, leaving the door open. I closed my eyes and felt the spasms of sorrow pierce my column. I don’t know if I'm ready to say whatever it is. "______, what's happening? Why did you say that?" He asked, releasing a little bit the hug and grabbed a few strands of my hair causing me to raise my head to look in his eyes.

"It's over." I said in a whisper, inhaling his mild perfume. Inside, I wanted to cry, scream and say that I didn’t want to say anything that would say next. "It's over." I repeated and he freed the embrace completely. I looked at his confused face. Oh God, do I have to say all the words? He’s so clueless sometimes.

“Wh.. What?” He asked, stepping back and I fought back the tears. This was being so difficult. Why does life have to be difficult?

"I want to break up." I said softly and squeezed the sleeve of my sweater tightly. He said nothing and looked at me dumbfounded. I looked to the floor and passed him, closing the front door. I didn’t want audience. My private life is no show for people to see and comment about it.

“Why?” He asked and I stared at his back. His hands were closed into a fist. I could see the veins throbbing heavily in his arms. "Why do you want this ______?" He asked, still with his back to me and I took two steps forward and stretched my arm to touch him but my fingers stopped halfway and eventually I gave up of the idea.

"I.. I don’t know." I told almost without a voice and he turned to me. My eyes widened when I saw his face. His eyes were filled with tears, ready to be poured. Oh my God.

"You.. You don’t know?" He asked coming up to me and I shook my head in response. "You forgot our moments? Our promises?" He asked a question after another and I kept shaking my head. "Have you forgotten what I told you today? That I love you more than anything?" He asked placing a hand on my shoulder. "That I love you more than my own life?" He put his other hand on my shoulder. "______, don’t joke about serious things." He said and I saw something shiny slipping down his cheek. Oh my God, it was a tear.

“Jong.. Jongup..” I said his name, stumbling over the words and he approached his face to mine. My heart skipped a beat when I saw another tear fall from his eyes.

"Don’t mess with me or with my feelings ______." He whispered, staring at the floor. "I know you love me. The look in your eyes tells me exactly how you feel." Seconds later he lifted his head and began sobbing. "Why are you doing this?" He asked hugging my neck. "You see? I'm crying because of you." He said. He finally said. A small sad smile appeared on my lips. "I'm crying because of you." He repeated what I wanted to hear and put both hands on my back, bringing me close to him and hugging me tightly.

"It's okay Jongup." I his back. "I'm here. I'm here." I said and felt my shoulder getting wet because of his tears. "I'm sorry that I said that. I don’t know what got into me." I kept talking while I listened to his sobs. He was crying for the first time. “I’m sorry.” I asked again and he lifted his head a little. "I promise I will not say more crap. I'll stay with you forever." I said seriously, looking at his beautiful and watery eyes.

"Oh, ______. I love you so much." He confessed and a few more tears fell from his eyes. "I love you." He whispered and I smiled. I wiped his tears and he sniffed. "I'm sorry that I’m looking a crybaby." He urged.

“Ani.” I shook my head. "I love your tears, I will not mocking you because you've been crying." I kissed his cheeks, wiping his tears. "Because your tears are proof of how important I am to you." I said and he joined my fingers with his. "Moon Jongup, I love you too." I confessed and he gave a small smile and approached his face, landing his perfect lips upon mine.

Tenth step:

I managed to see his tears. His tears.

Moon Jongup, cried because of me!

♥

End ^^ Thank you so much for everything!

Next Fic:

10 Steps To Hear: You're Mine ♥; with Zelo.