TAEYEON'S POV

 

*It's been one month since I confessed to you fanyaah~ since that day.. my heart is full of regret for telling you that I'm fallen deeply in love with you.*

 

I'm laying on my bed, facing the wall. My tears suddenly fall.

 

 

"Fanyahh~"

 

Now.. All I can do is to call your name from a far. 

 

 

*What to do? What should I do? What could I do?*

 

Every single day I always think that way. I couldn't even smile, I couldn't even say "Hi". Though I'm wondering about you all I can do is to think of you.

 

It's been exactly one month since I have my first heart break. And now I don't know If I can manage it. My heart is aching,squeezing, full of pain. All I want now is to disappear, for real..

 

***

My head starting to ache when my alarm suddenly rung. I slightly open my eyes to see what time is it, This is my daily routine since I've lost my best friend. I wake up, I wash up, I ate, I go to school, I go home, I lay on my bed. It's kinda boring, but for me it's so heart breaking.

 

 

*another lonely day..*

 

I look up to the sky, seeing the rain is pouring. I feel the cool breeze touching my cheeks. I feel like even God is sad for me.

 

*If only I could turn back time, I promise. I'll listen to you Lord.*

 

My eyes become watery. I feel that my tears will going to fall again, I try to control it, but I fail.

 

 

*Sigh*

 

As I wipe my tears away, someone suddenly rush and tap my shoulder. I smile and look at her, suddenly my smile fade away. 

 

"Yah.. what's the problem? not happy to see me?" She said.

 

"No.. I just thought..you're.. Her." I replied.

 

"I'm sorry.." She said.

 

"Aniyo.. I'm sorry.. For my action this past few weeks.."

 

"It's ok.. I understand.." She said while smiling at me.

 

I smile slightly as a respond and back to a frown face.

 

 

"How I wish I could do something.." She added.

 

I look at her in a confuse look. I want to freak out, I want to cry, I want to die. I really don't want someone to be concern to me but they keep on telling me that they are there for me.

 

 

I keep my face away from her. But she keep on looking to me. My tears now is rushing, I can't hide my feelings anymore. She hug me tight and comfort me but my tears keep on falling.

 

 

"Jessica.. It hurts.. It really hurts.." I said to her.

 

"It will be fine taeyeonaah~ soon.." She whisper to me.

 

 

Having a friend like her is like having a sister. Though she don't have any idea on what is really going on, she keep on telling me that It's gonna be ok soon. I do have a lot of friends, but Tiffany. She's my one and only best friend, my first love, and suddenly.. my first heartache.

 

 

"Go first.." I said while facing her.

 

She's a bit worry to me though I'm showing her a fake smile she notice in my eyes that I'm really in pain.

 

"I'm going to be fine. I just don't want them to see my eyes like this." I smirked.

 

Jessica nodded and smile to me. She wave her hand and enter our school.

 

 

*Mianhae.. I just can't face tiffany now.*

 

 

For the first time, I'm going to cut my classes. I don't know where should I go but still I keep on walking. My phone keeps on ringing but I keep on going. I didn't bother my self to look at it, all I want is to shout and cry but I can't.

 

 

I sat on the bench and breathe some fresh air. I close my umbrella and turn my head up. As I close my eyes, Her angelic face keeps on flashing to my head. I open my eyes and still I see her face. Now, all I can do is to think of you.

 

I get my cellphone to check on it. Theirs a lot of text and missed calls. I just took a deep breathe.

 

 

*Sigh*

 

*She doesn't care*

 

 

My tears suddenly fall again.

 

"Why fanyaah~why?"

 

I stood up and start to walk again. I don't know where should I go now. All I want is to forget everything.. even for now. I want to forget you..

 

 

 

***

 

Drink drink and drink.. For the first time I keep myself on drinking with No limits.

sing sing and sing.. even I'm out of tune now I keep on singing. No I'm not singing I'm shouting..

 

 

 

"yah~ Why you didn't call us? You're going to have fun by yourself??" Hyoyeon get the mic on me and sang.

 

"Yaah~~ *Hiccup* Whats wro- *Hiccup* ng?. Ohw why you're he- *Hiccup* re? want to jo- *Hiccup* in me?" I Smile at them.

 

"Yeah~ We're joining you in your craziest moment." Sunny said to me.

 

"woah~ Chill~ *Hiccup* I'm not that Cra- *hiccup* zy.." I tap her shoulder.

 

"You are crazy." Yoona said while pointing her finger to me.

 

"Maybe.. I'm Stu-*hiccup* pid, but not crazy." I smirked and drink soju.

 

My friends are here. joining me. I know that they know my problem but they keep on having fun just to make me feel happy.

 

"Just an alcohol? Where's the food?" Soo young said.

 

"Go order by yourself." Sunny said while scanning the karaoke book.

 

"geez~ ok whatever." Soo quickly go down stair and order some foods.

 

 

As the time goes by. they still here joining me. They keep their attention to me. they keep on joining me while I'm drinking alcohol.

 

"Give us too taeyeon. Don't be too selfish.~" Soo get what I'm drinking.

 

"Yah~ Tha-*hiccup* ts mine." 

 

"I don't care. I want it." Soo young replied.

 

 

I just sit down and lay my head to the chair. My head is aching, my eyes is blurring. I don't know what I'm doing, now my heart is spueezing.. I stand up and start to walk. Sunny and yoona hold me but I tell them that I'm fine, I can. They let me walk by myself.

 

 

"Where are you going taeyeonah~" Sooyoung said.

 

"I'm Ju-*hiccup* st going to com*hiccup* fort room." I said while touching the wall. I turn around and start walking again suddenly a tan girl hold me in my shoulder.

 

 

"Yuriaah~ You're here too? gumawo~ " I smile at her and hug her. 

 

 

She still looking to me. She doesn't even respond but just look to me as a respond.

 

"Wha-*hiccup* t?" I said.

 

"I know everything." She said to me seriously. She then hug me and tap my back. I feel the pain inside my heart. It's now aching and squeezing. I cried out loud, I can't control myself anymore.

 

 

"I'm so stupid. I'm sorry Taeyeon." Yuri said while hugging me.

 

"This is all my fault.. If ever I can turn back the time.. I won't confess. ever." 

 

"Taeyeonah~ It's not a fault to fall in love with your best friend."

 

"It is.. Now look. I've lost her, my best friend." I cried very hard and didn't even think about what other will think of me.

 

"It's going to be fine tae~ maybe she had her own reason why she choose to put a distance." She pat my back.

 

"Because she feel ashame of me." 

 

"Taeyeon." She said and let a loud sigh

 

I feel like I'm going to die. They look at me and make me calm. I feel so pity but my heart keep on aching. I can't control it, I'm going crazy now.

 

 

"TIFFANY!! HWANG MIYOUNG!! WHY??! ...why.." 

 

 

I shouted her name. doesn't care about others.

 

 

*SLAP*

 

Sunny slapped my face. I'm a bit shocked at her, still my tears keep on falling.

 

 

"Taeyeon.. you should respect her decision." She said.

 

 

"Eonnie.. you can leave without her." yoona added.

 

"Please Taeyeon.. Fix yourself. No one can make you happy, except you.yourself." Sunny said while looking at me. I feel a little guilty, but what can I do? I'm just hurting.

 

 

*sob* *sob*

 

 

"But why she needs to keep on distance to me?. *sob* I'll understand if she doesn't feel the same way.. but why she couldn't stay at my side? Even just a best friend." My tears keeps on falling . My head aches a lot.

 

I look straight to them. 

 

 

"I've lost her. And I've never gonna have her.ever.again."

 

 

As I turn my head to walk away. My eyes get blurry.

 

 

*break down*

 

 

 

 

---

 

Mianhae Taeyeonaah~ T^T Now I'm hurting you.. Stay positive please..  ///3

 

DONE with my first chapter guys~ Yeah it's taeyeon povs . She narrate her story^^ It's too short right? I'm sorry..kkk~

do you have any idea on what's on tiffany's mind? hmm~ 

keep CALM LOCKSMITH ^^ they will have a happy ending ;) Either BEST FRIEND FOREVER OR LOVER FOREVER.

 

bbuing bbuing~~