Chapter 29

New Year had once again appeared and celebrations were occurring all over Beijing. Kyuhyun snuggled into his blanket in front of a small brazier. The Imperial physician still hadn’t cleared him to work so he wasn’t serving the Emperor at the official celebrations like he had the previous few years.

“It’s freezing out there,” Ryeowook came running in and jumped next to Kyuhyun getting as near the fire as possible without burning himself.

Kyuhyun shuffled over to allow Ryeowook under the cover with him and asked, “I thought you were on duty this evening?”

Ryeowook hummed as he snuggled into the elder’s side. “I asked Eunuch Leeteuk if someone else could take my place.”

“But the attending servants always get presents, plus they get to see all the performances and all the most famous and celebrated people in the land.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Ryeowook mumbled. “You would be lonely and no one should be alone during the New Year.”

“I don’t mind being alone,” Kyuhyun replied but wrapped his arms around the boy all the same.

“I brought back some delicious food!”

“You’ve won me over,” Kyuhyun laughed as the younger got up and hurried to pick up the basket he had abandoned in his pursuit of warmth.

“Let’s eat, drink and celebrate the New Year without having to worry about serving others,” Ryeowook spoke happily as he set up a table, filled with alcohol and food that he had sneaked out of the kitchen, in front of Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun watched as the other glowed with happiness and was glad that he had the younger boy to distract him. He had already been sinking into his own dark thoughts before Ryeowook’s arrival but now he was thinking about how lucky he was to have gained such a loyal friend in this lonely palace. He had no idea what he would do if he didn’t have Ryeowook’s cheery disposition to lighten up his dark moments.

As the night progressed the thought about the Eighth Prince and what would’ve happened if he had really given up his dream of the throne. Would history be completely rewritten? Would I even have been born? Would I have disappeared in his arms? If I had never existed I wouldn’t have been able to get him to give up the throne…

Kyuhyun shook his head to clear his thoughts, refusing to think of Hangeng any longer. Rehashing everything over and over again in his mind didn’t help him at all so he should just stop.

Hearing the fireworks signalling the New Year, Kyuhyun looked over at Ryeowook who had fallen asleep clutching his cup. His alcohol tolerance wasn’t up to Kyuhyun’s own yet but he doubted Ryeowook drank as frequently as he did. Changmin often sneaked into his quarters with bottles of rice wine.

Getting up, he walked out into the courtyard and watched the bright flashes in the dark sky. As he stood there he made a resolution, and he was determined to stick to it, starting tomorrow.

**

Your Highness, Fourth Prince,

I have made a resolution that in this lifetime I will not marry. I only want to follow the lamp of Buddha and read scriptures for my mother. I beg for your understanding and respect for this decision.

Kyuhyun stared at the letter that he had rewritten a dozen times that morning. Deciding that it was the best he could probably do he placed it in a bundle that he had made containing all the gifts he had received from Siwon, including the glass bottle, his latest gift and the magnolia pendant, that was his first.

More sadly he looked at the box that contained all the letters he had been sent by the Eighth Prince. Picking them all up, he considered reading them again before pausing and reminding himself that he would just he torturing himself if he did that.

Wrapping them in a separate cloth, he stood regarding the two bundles that sat forlornly on his desk. Glaring at them both as if they were deliberately trying to provoke him, Kyuhyun jumped as he heard a knock on the door.

Opening it he came face to face with Minseok, who was shivering in the cold. Greeting the boy, he felt bad when he asked him to wait as he had something he wanted him to return with.

Kyuhyun walked back into his room and stared at the envelope in his grasp. He debated opening it before stuffing  it in the smaller bundle and going back out to Hangeng’s servant.

“Sorry to trouble you. Hurry back now. It’s too cold for you out here.”

“It’s no trouble,” Minseok smiled brightly even though Kyuhyun could tell he was freezing. He hurried off, for which Kyuhyun was glad, because he was of half a mind to call out for the return of the package and it’s contents.

But the stronger part applauded. From now on I’ll have nothing to do with the Eighth Prince. This is truly cutting off ties.

He smiled as it grew later in the day and Sehun hadn’t turned up. It meant that Siwon was no longer interested and that would be for the best. Humming to himself as he busied himself clearing out his room, he found he wasn’t actually surprised when he heard another knock on his door.

He called the other servant in and smiled wryly at himself for hoping that Siwon had forgotten about him. He wasn’t that lucky.

Sehun grinned and wished him a happy new year as he held out a package. Accepting it, he once again asked for the servant to wait because he wanted him to take something back to his master.

Kyuhyun opened to box and let out a little smile in admiration of the gorgeous jade hairpin placed within it. Closing it he slotted it into the bundle he had prepared earlier and gave it to the younger servant.

“Please deliver this to your master for me.”

“Rest assured,” Sehun bowed before disappearing into the snowy gardens that bordered his courtyard.

Kyuhyun let out a sigh of relief and hoped that he got the message across clearly to both men.

New year, new start!

**

Unknown to Kyuhyun, two different reactions were taking place.

In the Fourth’s estate, clear laughter was heard from the master’s study. A first for many of the retainers who were stood at attention around area.

In the Eighth’s, the smashing of a tea cup and the withdrawal of their master into his personal chambers for the rest of the day was the reaction to a small package delivered by one of his most trusted men.

**

Kyuhyun couldn’t help the unrest that filled him. He was still too weak to serve the Emperor and spring was approaching. He had days of doing nothing but thinking, which was not helping him.

Ryeowook brought news that Eighth Prince was looking unwell, with his clothes looser than they use to be. The Fourth Prince was apparently his normal imperturbable self.  

Regret filled him and his resolve crumbled and rebuilt itself time after time.

He was never so happy to return to work as he was when the imperial physician cleared him for duty.

**

“Gege!”

Zhou Mi looked up from where he was bent over examining a flower to see his younger brother rushing towards him.

“How are you here?!” Kyuhyun hugged the elder, relief filling his heart for the first time in a long time. Contentment settled over him as his felt his brother gently his head, like he did when he was younger and cried for his mother who was never going to return.

“Consort Sooyeon helped me.”

Mi pushed his didi away and pulled him to sit on a stone bench situated in the courtyard in front of Kyuhyun’s quarters.

“If I had other choices, I wouldn’t have bothered her at all.” ZhouMi was glad that he had such an understanding and pleasant mother-in-law. Sooyeon had always tried to accommodate and help her son’s wives as much as possible.

“What’s wrong?” Kyuhyun was suddenly struck that something must be wrong for his brother to be sitting outside his room.

“My heart felt anxious about you, so I came as quickly as I could.”

Kyuhyun felt a deep sense of love for his brother at that moment. Mi had gone out of his comfort zone and travelled into the palace to find him and reassure him. He didn’t deserve such a wonderful ge.

“You rejected Hangeng?”

The younger realised that his brother would have no idea what had happened between his brother and husband, unless Hangeng himself talked to him. Which was unlikely given the prince’s character.

Kyuhyun’s sad face showed Mi everything he needed to know.

“You rejected a man you could’ve spent your life with.” Mi looked serious, “But this is your life and your happiness, so I will support whatever choice you make.” The elder’s supportive smile and nod filled Kyuhyun with such solace that he felt like crying from the release of emotions.

“Do you still feel bad?” Mi asked, a smile still curled round his lips.

“No,” was the small whine Kyuhyun released before crying into his brother's shoulder.

Mi sat and rocked the younger, glad that he could be here and alleviate some of the pain that he knew the boy was suffering. The only think he would ever wish for was Kyuhyun’s happiness.

Kyuhyun felt like his heart was at ease for the first time in a long time.

**

The Emperor and his court had gone on a trip to the Wutai Mountain, a spiritual trip to one of the oldest temples in China. As Kangin had gotten older, he had thought more about his health, both spiritually and physically.

Kyuhyun had been invited by Kangin himself, but the tea maid had begged off. He was still weak compared to before the winter and while he had returned to his duties within the palace, outside the palace on an expedition, he would have a severely reduced staff and he didn’t want to have such a heavy workload too soon.

Kangin had agreed but been slightly put out, telling his young servant that Wutai was beautiful and that the last time he had visited the temple, 7 years ago, Kyuhyun hadn’t been in the palace. But he had also been quick to tell Kyuhyun to eat and rest well while he was away and to fuss over how thin the boy had gotten. Kyuhyun was once again reminded of how generous and caring the Emperor was to his personal staff, even if he gave a cold and regal persona to the rest of the world.

Kyuhyun had been left with little to do, apart from organising stock and testing new recipes and tea ingredients. Ryeowook was away with the Emperor, Leeteuk telling him that as the head tea maid wasn’t able to make the trip, his deputy would definitely have to.

Being alone was peaceful and calming, Kyuhyun spent days wandering around the gardens and felt the least restricted he had ever felt since he entered the palace. No formal duties and being healthy enough to enjoy it.

He had read and drawn, practiced his calligraphy, attempted sewing and then giving up because his work was incredibly shoddy. He let himself revel in not being scrutinised by anyone or having to worry over his feelings about Hangeng. He felt like the wound that gaped at the end of the last year was healing, though the scar tissue would always remain hidden within him.

It was on one of his meandering walks that he found himself at the viewing platform, hidden and mostly forgotten at the far end of the lake. He liked to come here to think, knowing that he was one of the few that ventured there, in fact he had never seen anyone leaning against the railings like he did that day.

Entering the wooden structure, he was greeted with the raised eyebrows of the Fourth Prince.

Bowing automatically, Kyuhyun whispered his greetings while trying to work out whether Siwon would try and talk to him. This was the first time he had chance to see the older man since he had sent back the package on the first day of the new year.

“You also like the lilies here?” Siwon’s voice was genuinely curious. Kyuhyun had noticed how over the years, Siwon no longer seemed so emotionless. Maybe he was able to read the subtle emotions better now, or maybe the prince was showing him a side he didn’t show others.

“I like the peace and quiet here.”

The prince hummed before walking between two trees towards the bank. There was no path yet it seemed like Siwon knew what he was doing. He looked back at Kyuhyun, and said, “I’ll take you to a place that’s really peaceful.”

Kyuhyun walked forward to see Siwon pull a rope that lead to a boat. Kyuhyun had never noticed it before and while it wasn’t hidden, it was nestled between two rocky outcrops. No one would realise it was there unless they were looking. The prince was looking at him with an expression of expectation, though to most it probably seemed blank. Kyuhyun felt a thrill run through him that this prince was waiting so patiently for him, even if no one else would be able to tell. It was like a secret language that Kyuhyun had started to decipher, something only a few people knew, and it felt special.

“How did you know about the boat?”

Siwon’s face remained impassive but his eyes twinkled. “I like this place, so I had a boat put here.” The next words made Kyuhyun blink, but he still followed them, “Come in the boat with me.”

The warm clasp of the prince’s hand as he helped him into the small boat and the steady gaze that remained on him as the prince rowed out onto the lake and into the giant water lily beds,but he didn’t stop there. Kyuhyun hardly paid notice to where they were going as he watched the man in front of him. They watched each other, only a few feet between them, trapped in a small boat in the middle of a lake.

Kyuhyun jolted in shock when the prince stopped and pulled up the paddles. Looking around he noticed they were in a secluded area, surrounded by reeds and lily plants. He could barely see 2 metres in any direction and he doubted anyone could find them even if they tried. The lilies were beautiful and so much larger than he had seen anywhere else, the only sounds the birds in the distance and the faint buzzing of insects.

“I’m going to have a rest, you can do what you like,” a small smirk graced the older man’s lips for only a second before disappearing. Kyuhyun wasn’t sure how he let himself get into this situation, to be at the mercy of another. Especially someone who he was supposed to be avoiding. But when the prince was in front of him and telling him to get into the boat he felt powerless to disobey, not just because Siwon was a prince and he was a maid, but in a way that made him think he would do whatever Siwon wanted, whenever he asked, whether he was a prince or not.

Trepidation and a slither of fear creep up yet the larger man, just lent back and closed his eyes. Disbelief that the prince was really going to just sleep filled him. He sat for a few moments in shock, just staring, before deciding that there was no way for him to leave or do anything until the Fourth Prince wished so he might as well nap as well.

Disgruntled and annoyed at the heat of the sun now bearing down on him, Kyuhyun pulled out a small handkerchief and laid it over his face. There was no way he was going to let the Fourth Prince see his face when he slept, what if he drooled?! He tried not to think why he so bothered about the idea of drooling in front of the other man.

Plus sunburn would not look good on him. Part of him wished for the modern day array of sunscreens that filled the chemists shelves. Thinking about the future, he realised he hadn’t thought about that time in a while. He was slowly forgetting day by day that he wasn’t from this time, this wasn’t really his world. More prominently in his mind, he really wished he could have an iced coffee at that moment.

He smiled at his own flippancy. Five years ago when he landed here he wouldn’t have believed he could ever be so relaxed when thinking about how he was stuck in the past.

He drifted off to the idea of ice cream and air conditioning and cold frappés.

**

Kyuhyun awoke with a start when he felt someone hovering above him. Siwon’s face greeted him, eyes intense as they bore into his.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

The darkness and want that Kyuhyun could feel boring into him made his heart race and so he did the only thing he could think of which was hold up the abandoned handkerchief between their faces.

“Let it go.”

“Promise not to look at me like that.”

“Let it down,” amusement seemed to have seeped into the prince’s words and Kyuhyun peeked around it to see the elder’s eyes softer now, with fondness in them rather than the previous craving.

A warmth settled over Kyuhyun, and he was made aware of alone they were. No one would be out on the lake, especially not in this lily bed. No one could see them, or interrupt them. No one even knew they were here together. He shifted slightly and realised how close the prince had gotten, Siwon was hovering over him, his largeness blanketing him and he felt a frisson of heat scurry down his back.

The tenderness that shined in the elder man’s eyes made Kyuhyun forget that this was the stoic and scary Fourth Prince, the future Emperor of Qing, and the man who would destroy the lives of many people he cared for. The only thing he could think about was if those lips would be as firm as he remembered and he didn’t want to think about it a second longer as he leaned up and pressed his lips with the other mans. Their bodies were flush against each other as Kyuhyun gave in and let himself be swept away by need and desire.

They broke away to pant into each others mouths, their foreheads pressed together as their eyes remained glued to each other.

Siwon’s voice sounded deeper than usual as he gasped out, “One will lose his consciousness and rationality if he gets lost in beautiful things.”

“Are you calling me beautiful?” Kyuhyun laughed brightly. He couldn’t quite grasp that he was floating in a boat, with Siwon pressed above him and the prince was quoting scripture at him.

“You are very beautiful, but we should stop now. It is getting late and soon people will notice both our absences.” Siwon pressed one last kiss to the younger’s month before getting up. He waited for Kyuhyun to organise himself before starting to row back to the shore.

Siwon’s face became more and more serious and aloof as they neared the bank. This time Kyuhyun knew it was all an act, a mask for the rest of the world. Not one word was exchanged between them from Siwon helping Kyuhyun out of the boat to them separating quickly as they headed down different paths.

Kyuhyun shivered as he realised what he had just done. Even as he scolded himself, another part was amazed at the intensity of the kiss and how he hadn’t felt that with anyone before, not even with his past boyfriends in the 21st century.

He wondered what the Fourth Prince would do next. He snorted as he remembered the letter he had previously sent Siwon.  

So much for devoting my life Buddha.

***

AN:

I made a poll asking which story I should update and this won! 

It would've been up yesterday but my back seized up again and I could hardly type, plus my meds made me super sleepy so I just watched the drama... for like the thousandth time.

Life has been crazy for me recently. I don't know which way is up most of the time. Sorry for the long gap between updates.

Here is a deleted scene: ChangKyu best friend drinking time. I suppose I could have put it in... But this chapter was more about Kyu moving on from his bad break up with Hangeng and the start of him focussing more on Siwon. I can hear the happy cheers of WonKyu shippers already xD

I hope everyone's lives are going better than mine are. Please be patient with the updates. You never have to fear me abandoning this - seriously, this story is my baby. I would stop writing every other fic before I stopped writing this one. 

Self promotion of another fic I am writing.... Little Problems. It is KyuHyuk focussed though they are not a romantic pairing. Kyuhyun is a orphaned toddler and Hyukjae becomes his guardian. I couldn't resist the idea of baby!Kyuhyun. And KyuHyuk are my favourite brotp in SuJu, so yeah, I made a story. 

Love you all <3

Comments make me happy and inspire me when I am in a funk (not that I am pressuring you guys - I am a silent reader sometimes lol) ^^

IF THIS MAKES NO SENSE I BLAME ALL THE MEDS I AM ON RIGHT NOW!!! THEY ARE STRONG! (like seriously - i am glad they are though, i have never been in so much pain in my life and i am a huge wimp)