Chapter 27

It had been a magical few weeks. Hangeng was charming and considerate. He looked at Kyuhyun in such a way that the younger man was constantly blushing. Even with both of them busy with official duties they always found time to see each other, and if had been a particularly long few days with few meetings Hangeng would send gifts, such as one time he somehow managed to fill Kyuhyun’s entire tent with flowers. Kyuhyun had no idea how he managed to convince Ryeowook that the flowers were to use in tea and snacks.

It was in the meadows that they had the most freedom. And one day they went beyond the light pecks. Kyuhyun tried not to seem too eager, after all this lifetime he was supposed to be untouched and innocent to at a certain point. The experiences he had had in his past life would be frowned upon in this time, though he missed that side of relationships he knew not to go too far with Hangeng too soon. He couldn’t understand his mind flashing back to the passion filled kiss he had with the Fourth Prince the previous year when he had first held Hangeng, but he pushed all thought of Siwon to the back of his mind as he focussed wholly on the man with him now.

It was one of these times that Kyuhyun couldn’t stop himself from asking, “Are you happier now than you were with Mi ge?”

Hangeng stilled as Kyuhyun disentangled himself, sitting up to look down on the other man. He didn’t know why he had asked, it had slipped out, but it had been on his mind. He didn’t know what to feel about the fact that the man he was laying with was his brother-in-law, someone who he knew loved his brother and had been eager to marry him.  

Hangeng looked withdrawn, as if he was remembering back to the time that he had been vaguely happy with his Ce’fujin. He faced the horizon rather than meeting Kyuhyun’s gaze. “When I first saw Mi I was so happy. He was so beautiful and elegant, looking like a painting. I was delighted that Imperial Father had given him as my next wife, I had seen him the year before when he had visited the capital with his father. He had sparkled back then. So on my wedding day, when I removed the veil and revealed Mi’s face, I was shocked to discover that he was crying. I thought at first he was just homesick and that with him he would be happy. When he discovered he was with child, I was overjoyed and I could tell Mi was excited, though he still seemed dim compared to the dazzling youth I had seen the previous year.” Hangeng closed his eyes briefly before continuing. “I sent someone to find out what happened, to investigate what had changed. That was when…”

“I know that rest,” Kyuhyun whispered as Hangeng seemed to struggle to work out what exactly had happened that caused everything to slip out of his control. Hangeng had inadvertently caused the death of Mi’s lover and the death of his own child. Kyuhyun could see the guilt on the elder’s face, a mirror of Mi’s when he had told the story from his view point a few years ago.

“Kyuhyun,” Hangeng looked at him with serious eyes, “I committed a grave mistake with Mi. I wouldn’t allow myself to commit the same mistake twice. I need to make sure  that you would be happy. I have to make you happy.” He smiled slightly. “I remember before Tenth’s wedding you asked me, ‘Why must one’s destiny be decided by someone else?’ I knew then that you and Mi were different.”

Kyuhyun looked deep into Hangeng’s eyes and knew he wasn’t lying. One of the prince’s hands cupped the younger’s cheek, before Kyuhyun pressed his hand against it to stop it from leaving.

“Kyuhyun, do you have any idea how much I have missed you these past years? I wish for you to marry me happily and willingly. But your heart is so difficult for me to understand. I know that you have me in your heart yet you kept on rejecting me.” Hangeng looked confused as he removed his hand after Kyuhyun let it go. Kyuhyun felt guilt rush him as the prince looked so wounded, “I didn’t know how to get you to willingly accept me.”

Suddenly his eyes were covered by Hangeng’s hand. “Don’t look at me like that. Sometimes you gaze at me with such sorrow. Why do you look at me like that?” Kyuhyun brushed aside the hand but didn’t answer the question. How was he supposed to explain that he knew what the future would hold for Hangeng? Even though he planned to do everything in his power to prevent it from happening what if he couldn’t stop it? What if Hangeng was fated for a miserable ending? How could he put all of his worry into words?

“I don’t want to lose you,” were the words that came out of his mouth, not really explaining the turmoil that was happening within him. “I want you to always be well.”

Hangeng smiled slightly, seemingly relieved and also happy, “You won’t lose me. I will always stay by your side.”

Kyuhyun smiled in return, wishing with all his heart that those words could remain true.

**

Walking into the Eighth Prince’s tent, Kyuhyun sat on the confused man’s lap before raising his hand and biting it. Pulling his hand back, Hangeng looked even more confused at the younger man.

“I was remembering the time you made me stand for hours while you talked with Tenth Prince and Fourteenth Prince.” Kyuhyun smirked as he quote, “Ten years is not too late for a nobleman to seek revenge.”

Hangeng laughed at the cheekiness, glad that the other was so informal and relaxed around him. Never had he been treated by anyone the way Kyuhyun treated him. Most reviewed him in awe as one of the more powerful princes in the realm, while Kyuhyun constantly acted against convention, surprising him again and again. He found that this was one of the reasons he was drawn to him.

He gently pulled the grinning youth down so he could press their lips together. When he released Kyuhyun, the other was blushing and pouting at being laughed at.

“I got questioned by the Crown Prince today. He seemed suspicious as to why we seemed close.”

“Let him think what he likes,” Hangeng shrugged as Kyuhyun slid off of his lap and walked towards the table of food. “We will soon be back in the capital. We should arrange our marriage when we get back.”

Kyuhyun felt uncertainty flood him as he turned back to the Eighth Prince.

“He just views you as taboo. You have served by Imperial Father’s side for so many years and are favoured by him. If you wanted to you could give us great insight into Imperial Father’s thoughts.” Kyuhyun stiffened at the idea. He had no intention of betraying Kangin. Though the man was a supreme ruler, something Kyuhyun disagreed with on principle, the Emperor was kind to him and always tried to be fair with as many people as possible. Hangeng seemed to see his lover’s unease and changed topics. “You should eat.”

Kyuhyun looked down at the table and realised they were all of his favourite dishes. The chef had even removed the skin of the fish, just the way he liked it. But why did the food feel unsatisfactory and disappointing?

**

“I can’t believe we have to separate again!” Junsu complained loudly to an amused Kyuhyun. The Mongol Prince had been pouting all morning and had refused to leave Kyuhyun’s side. His clinginess was adorable and Kyuhyun returned the affection by feeding the prince sweet treats that he had originally made for the Emperor.

“I think we will meet again. Next year there will be another expedition. Hopefully we will both be on it.”

“I will make sure I am!” Junsu cried as he hugged Kyuhyun fiercely. “We had such a happy time, even though he wasn’t here.”

“That was just a small imperfection,” Kyuhyun laughed as he reminded himself to call Changmin a small imperfection some time.

Junsu let his voice drop to a whisper, “Will you remember to ask about Thirteenth Prince on my behalf?”

“I’ll remember!” Kyuhyun replied half exasperated. This was the fourth time the Mongolian prince had mentioned Changmin that day. He doubted he would forget even if he wanted to.

Junsu grinned happily as a Mongolian servant entered the tent. “Your Highness, your father is looking for you.”

“I know.” Junsu sighed as he turned back to Kyuhyun and pulled him into a warm hug. “Kyuhyun, I will see you again.”

“Take care Your Highness.”

Junsu smiled forlornly as he exited the tent to return to his father and Kyuhyun felt bereft of a great friend.

**

“We will be leaving for the capital tomorrow. Before we go, is there anything you want to do or anywhere you want to go?” Hangeng asked as he took Kyuhyun for a stroll in the late afternoon.

Kyuhyun smiled, “I want to go to all the places we normally visit on one of our walks.”

“Alright.”

It was dark by the time they started back towards the camp. They had walked all the way to the meadow that they usually had visited by horseback. Kyuhyun let himself be content with the warmth that he felt from the other man walking by his side, holding his hand firmly.

He took a deep breath and tried to settle his stomach as he opened his mouth to speak.

“If I wanted you to do something for me, I’m not sure you could promise me that you could do it.”

“Do you still need to ask me something like this? Whatever you ask, I will do everything in my power to accomplish it.” Hangeng smiled, unsuspecting of the upcoming question.

“If… If I asked you to give up the throne?” Hangeng stopped walking but didn’t face him. “Would you do it?”

“I don’t think this has anything to do with the two of us.” Hangeng’s voice was tight and his body filled with tension. Warning sirens were flashing in Kyuhyun’s mind but he had to carry on.

“If you can promise, we will be together. If you can’t promise, we will separate.”

Hangeng was trembling as he said, “It’s late, you should go back and rest. Tomorrow will be tiring.” He started to pull on Kyuhyun’s hand, dragging him back to the campsite.

Kyuhyun yanked his hand away from the painful grasp. “I am serious.” His eyes were filled with tears as he carried on. “I know what I am talking about.” He swallowed weakly as he struggled to find the words, “Haven’t we lived happily these past few weeks? We can be like this in the future.” He walked forward and wrapped his arms around the prince’s neck, pressing their foreheads together but keeping his eyes closed as he thought of the future they could have. “In Spring we could go to the countryside and pick flowers. In Summer, we can drift about on a lake in a boat. In Autumn, we can go riding on the grasslands. In Winter, we can appreciate the beauty of the snow. We can read and write poetry.” Kyuhyun felt the Hangeng’s breath fanning his lips but the other man didn’t come closer but slowing stepped back out of his grasp.

But he didn’t stop talking, the world he had imagined still sitting within his reach, “We could visit the desolated areas in the North. I also know how to make many dishes. Some dishes that not many in the Imperial Court of Qing know how to make.” Hangeng was slipping further and further away and Kyuhyun was desperately trying to grab him back now, “I also know…”

“These past few weeks, you’ve had an agenda.” Hangeng’s voice was hard to interpret. Anger and disappointment, hurt and confusion were all warring with other emotions that Kyuhyun couldn’t name. “Every lyric you sang for me, every single word you said to me… Was it all for today?”

“My feelings for you are true. I never lied to you.” Kyuhyun cried out, he knew what Hangeng was implying but he did love Hangeng.

“Kyuhyun. Why?” Hangeng drew his eyebrows together in confusion. “I remember what you told me that time so long ago. ‘Why must one’s destiny be decided by someone else? Why can’t we decide on our own destiny?’ At that time, even though I scolded you, in my heart, I felt the same.” Hangeng started to pace as he talked, “Because my mother was born of a low status and because of the circumstances of my birth, I was treated poorly at the palace as I was growing up. All these years, every step I’ve taken and all my hard work, it was all to take my destiny into my own hands. We are all the sons of the Emperor. So why is Second Brother the Crown Prince? Why not me?!” Hangeng became louder as his indignation came to the surface. “If he were suitable for the post, I would say nothing. But he isn’t! Whether in personality or intelligence, he can’t convince anyone that he is suitable to be Crown Prince! Just because his mother was loved the most by Imperial Father, he was able to get anything he wanted since his birth. I won’t accept it!”

He stopped shouting as he returned to Kyuhyun, speaking more calmly, his face more controlled he asked, “Don’t you understand? I started from having no supporters, from the weakest background, to having a strong backing from some of the most powerful officials. Do you know how much I have worked and sacrificed in order to get Ninth, Tenth and Fourteenth Brother to follow me? Do you realise how much care and strength I have spent on them?” His voice was forceful as he approached Kyuhyun, who had tears streaming down his face. “I have no familial supporters. I can only count of making political alliances. I’ve had to put in an incredible amount of work.”

Kyuhyun’s voice was weak and distraught when he tried to counter all of that emotion. “The fight for the throne is fraught with danger. I only want to live the rest of my life with you. In peace and comfort. I have my own reasons that I can’t reveal. The decision to be with you was a hard decision, which I have finally made.”

Hangeng’s face was indiscernible as he slowly wiped away some of Kyuhyun’s tears and said, “I want the throne and I want you.”  

Kyuhyun felt a fresh wave of sorrow fill him as his attempt to change fate was thrown back at him.

“Don’t think about all this nonsense. Go back and rest.” Hangeng whispered as he drew the weeping boy into his embrace, not knowing the real reason for his heartbreak.

All Kyuhyun could think was; What am I supposed to do now?

**

Kyuhyun looked out of the carriage window as in moved slowly towards the capital. At times like this he greatly missed modern transportation and all its perks. Fast travel, comfy seating, heating or air conditioning. He missed it all.

The Eighth Prince hadn’t tried to see him or contact him since that night. Kyuhyun sighed as he wondered how to convince Hangeng to leave behind his desire for the throne. Would his opinion change if Kyuhyun told him that Siwon would be the future Emperor? Would he believe Kyuhyun if he told him that he was from the future? Would he laugh at him, thinking he has gone mad or react in fear calling him an evil spirit?

He hit his head against the back of the coach, trying to work out what he was going to do next. Could he let himself marry Hangeng if he knew that in the future he would die in prison, disgraced by the Emperor and with no friends next to him? Could he watch as the person he loved suffered? Would he be able to cope? Was he strong enough?

“Ge?”

“Ryeowook,” Kyuhyun opened his eyes to face Ryeowook’s concerned ones. Since Jinki had left them, moving to a different department so as to prepare for leaving the palace, Ryeowook had become even more attentive of him, as if worried that he needed to fulfil both his own and Jinki’s roles.

“Ryeowook… let’s say you know someone is going to die and you want to save him, but he won’t listen to you, what would you do?”

“Ge…” Ryeowook looked even more troubled by the question.

“Don’t worry. I’m just saying random things.” Kyuhyun brushed his hands over the younger’s brow, soothing the worry lines that marred it.

“How would you know he was going to die?” Ryeowook asked curiously. “If you told him, wouldn’t he not die?”

Kyuhyun didn’t know how to answer but he knew that he wouldn’t live for anyone but himself in this world. He wouldn’t allow himself to fall into heartbreak. A clean cut now would hurt less than the protracted hurt that would be in his future if he married Hangeng and allowed him to continue his fight for the throne when he knew that it would end with their world in tatters.

**

Heechul was worried when he received the missive but he was even more concerned now he saw the Consort Sooyeon herself. He had been immediately sent word by the Consort’s maid the moment she had become ill and he had rushed to his mother-in-law’s side. Heechul had always valued his relationship with Hangeng’s mother, who had always been kind and supportive of him.

“Mother be careful, it’s hot.”

Heechul carefully fed broth to the frail older woman. Hangeng would be returning tomorrow and he should be preparing the house but he couldn’t when he knew that she was sick. Hangeng wouldn’t mind once he knew the reason, the other man was fiercely protective of his mother, and Heechul knew that he was often upset by the treatment she received from the other consorts and various palace workers. She wasn’t respected when she first became a Consort, though now her sons power was ascending she was looked after more. Hangeng was probably closer to his mother because of the harsh unjust treatment of them both than he probably would have been if he was one of the other princes and had their status.

“Heechul, you shouldn’t have come. For you to wait on me personally, how can I trouble you like this?”  The older women was looking so weak, years of abuse and neglect hadn’t made Sooyeon stronger but instead had slowly made her a shade of her former self, a captivating beauty who had the ability to interest an Emperor, even though she wasn’t one of his official wives or concubines. Someone the Emperor went after even though he shouldn’t have.

“Taking care of Mother is something any daughter-in-law should do,” Heechul dismissed his kindness. He was known as an ice princess to some but he truly loved his family. “Mother, I have long heard that the palace distribution is not equal, but Mother has always been generous. I do not think the other Consorts and Concubines are as open-minded as you.”

“These other Consorts were born of higher standing than me. If I wasn’t so lucky to receive the Emperor’s affections, I’m afraid I would still be a servant girl. How would I have everything I’ve got today?”

“You are one of the Emperor’s wives as well as the mother of the Eighth Prince. The people’s Virtuous Eighth Prince, the hope of the public. Mother should be seen as a proud mother among the people.”

Smiling weakly Sooyeon continued, “Speaking on Hangeng, if only he had been born of a mother of high standing, and had received esteem from her position, he wouldn’t have had to follow behind others and suffer their insults. It’s all my fault.” Guilt covered her features before a coughing fit overtook her entire frame.

“No! You are wrong. Everything that happened allowed Eighth Prince to become stronger and gain a better sense of propriety. Mother, do you still remember when he was awarded the title of Bei’le? He was only 17 years old. All the other princes were jealous of him at that time.” Heechul smiled at the memory, it was just after they had married. “Eighth Prince has a great deal of power in the Imperial Court, this is something else the other princes envy but cannot hope to emulate.”  

“Heechul,” Sooyeon gently admonished her son-in-law’s boldness.

“Other princes derive their power from their mother’s standing, but Eighth Prince doesn’t need that. If you are worried about familial standing, my name definitely doesn’t hurt Eighth Prince’s reputation.” Heechul smiled and grasped the elders hand, “Don’t worry Mother, your standing will only rise because of your sons efforts.”

“Hangeng is blessed to have married a loyal and sensible wife such as you. I know you will always do what’s best for him. I know that whatever happens to me, he will have you.”

“It was my blessing to marry such a brilliant and caring man like the Eighth Prince.”

“I have always believed that a woman’s happiness comes from receiving her husband’ love. I sincerely hope that the Eighth Prince is treasuring you properly.”

Heechul’s smile became more forced as he replied, “Thank you Mother.”

**

When Heechul returned that evening he found that his brother was there.

“Donghae, it’s so late. Why have you not returned to the Tenth’s palace?”

“I was waiting for you,” Donghae smiled cutely, getting his older brother to stop scolding him. “Rest, you must be tired. I heard from the maids that you went to look after Lady Sooyeon.”

The younger ordered tea as he guided the other to a chair.

“The foolish Tenth Prince said he would help me, he said he was going to buy fruit and then he never came back,” Donghae complained.

“Looks like he isn’t so foolish then,” Heechul laughed at his brother’s innocent .

“Ge!” Donghae drew the syllable out as he pouted. “Why are you taking his side?”

“Donghae, the Tenth Prince is your husband.” Heechul was serious as he mentioned something that he had tried to drill into his brother before. “Even if everyone else has turned their back on him, you should still defend him. These are the things you should do.”

“I know… like you are with Eighth Prince…” Donghae fluttered his lashes to lighten the mood. “But I don’t think I have the patience.” His mood turned more contemplative as he eyed the maids.

“Everybody leave,” Heechul knew immediately that whatever was weighing on the others mind should be said in private. Call it older brother’s intuition.

“Ge, I heard from Tenth Prince that Eighth Prince is working even harder recently,” Donghae spoke softly even after all the maids had left. “I’m guessing… I’m guessing… that his ambitions are being set higher.” Heechul could hear the hesitance in his brother’s speech. What they were discussing was treasonous. “Gege, if that was the case, would you still support him?”

“Haven’t I said before, this is the duty of a wife. I will give my everything to support him, regardless of how large his ambitions are. Even if his goal is the dragon throne.”

**

AN

I updated! I updated twice in one weekend! *pats self on back* Admittedly one was tiny but hey – that was an update kkkkk

Anyway this chapter is the beginning of the end of HanKyu. I was watching the scene in the forest with Kevin Cheng being all fierce emotion as Eighth Prince as I wrote that scene and basically I failed at writing it. BBJX has such great actors… I have a huge crush on Nicky Wu because of his portrayal as Fourth Prince. That man is.. umph… *bites lip*

Also this chapter is contrasting Kyuhyun and Heechul. They both have different reactions to Hangengs ambitions. Kyuhyun wants to run in the other direction to prevent himself from getting hurt while Heechul is willing to support anything Hangeng plans to do, because he is devoted to him, even though he knows that if Hangeng fails it’s pretty much a death sentence. I know Kyuhyun is the main character but that doesn’t mean he is perfect and I know Heechul is evil diva who tries to make Kyuhyun and Mi’s lives miserable but he is pretty damn loyal and in love (there is one person I know that when she reads this will tell me exactly what she thinks of Heechul – in detail) I could say more but it’s gone midnight and I have to be up at 7 and go to work *curses*

Night Night people ^^

PS remember that I just finished this and I haven’t read it through. Be kind if I make a mistake.